'Ma'am, your rock is chasing you': Territorial tortoise hunts down the evil lawnmower trimming his illustrious lawn (VIDEO)

Tortoises are born old. 

Like the Benjamin Buttons of the animal kingdom, these little wrinkled reptiles are hatched into this world with an aging aura, turning grumpier and more ornery with each passing day on earth. Unironically, they're also the longest-lived creatures on our green planet, often outliving the other creatures in the wilderness just out of sheer spite. But that's why we love these hard-shelled heroes—they're never ones to back down from a fight. 

Perhaps, we should start rethinking the tale of the Tortoise and the Hare, because this viral tortoise video turned into one shell of a high-speed chase.

This particular fireball of a tortoise went viral recently, clocking in millions of views on a video his owner posted. After living for decades in his enormous grassy lawn, she decided that his "enclosure" was looking a little overgrown and decided to bring upon his living space the most evil and destructive of tools: The lawnmower. Dreaded, noisy, and disruptive, this tortoise—born an old man, of course—wouldn't let some rabble-rousing weapon of destruction tear apart his beloved grass.