Coworker dominates workplace over manager, new employee struggles to adapt: 'I left feeling embarrassed and intimidated'

Ally Perry • Writer and Editor

Jun 27, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

Some workplace dynamics are more complex than they first appear.

Theoretically speaking, it is easy enough to discern who plays what role in the average company. While corporate roles have become increasingly diverse and confusing over the years, there is generally an obvious distinction between upper management, middle management, and the employees who do the grunt work. It's just how things are.

However, things can get a little more complicated when you look past the job titles and start to have experience of what it is people actually do in their jobs. Some don't do enough work to really qualify for whatever role they are supposed to be doing, and others do so much that it seems like they are well overdue for a promotion. Moreover, those who have the most influence aren't always the ones with the fanciest positions and largest salaries; office politics and different personalities can conspire to make unexpected people rise to the top of the workplace totem pole.

When you are new to a role, figuring out how all the different relationships work in the office can be overwhelming. Once you have a handle on it, it is up to you how you choose to contribute.

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An employee had been working in a team for five months and felt like the distribution of power was not something that they had expected. They felt like their actual manager took a back seat in certain discussions involving another colleague, who was very forthright and seemed to like being in control.
They were intimidated by her at times, and they questioned why she should have the influence that she did if she was not a manager. They also were not sure if they were OK to work with her in this position. They felt like they needed some guidance on how to navigate a professional situation that they had not really come across before.
How do you navigate a team where one colleague seems to have more influence than the manager?

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