Here at Animal Comedy, we love all dogs. Big, small, floofy, short-furred, we don't mind - we love them all the same. And that's why we appointed ourselves as judge and jury in this case presented by the MLB that we just made up. Quiet in the court, beginning discussions on a case of great impawrtance of Back Row Brown Doggo vs. White Doggo, Hot Dog, Unassuming Dog Pawrents, His Own Pawrents, LoanDepot Park Stadium, and the Entierty of Baseball. Let's begin.
Brown Doggo claims that Mr. White Doggo ate a hot dog and wasn't treating him, despite staring intently - which is a known doggo communication device. The jury says Mr. Brown is on the right. Brown Doggo also claims the hot dog had the audacity not to jump right to his mouth, or fall to the floor where he always swoops in to take any leftovers. The jury says the hot dog is definitely to blame. Brown Doggo also claims that while being Mr. White Doggo's pawrents, they didn't adhere to the pawrenting law of loving all dogs. The jury says that, indeed, they should've shown him love.
The case is not finished yet, Your Howlnor! Mr. Brown Doggo wasn't there alone - he was there with his very own pawrents, who just assumed he would be fine despite not having a hot dog of his own. The jury says it's very shameful of Mr. Brown's pawrents. Brown Doggo also claims that LoanDepot Park Stadium is to blame, since they didn't give him tickets to sit any closer to a potential hot dog. The jury agrees that the seating was pawblematic. And lastly, Brown Doggo says baseball is stupid anyway. The jury agrees, because what the heck even is baseball, we never got it.
The judge's decree: Mr. Brown Doggo deserves 1,000 hot dogs and a bajillion belly rubs as compensation!
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