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Young woman sitting on a couch with a guarded expression, like she's thinking through a difficult situation. shown by a model.
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AITAH for cutting off my parents after they bought me a flat
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My parents bought me a flat when I was 17 for uni, with the agreement that they’d get to use a room in it as a holiday home.
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Now I want to move out, but they won’t let me rent it out because they want to come and stay in it, but they refuse to pay the bills either. However, I don’t currently have the financial means to move house and pay the bills in my current flat without renting it out. Even in the future, if I did have the financial means, this feels manipulative given we made no prior agreement (or I don’t remember one, I was 17..) about this. It is clear my family do not want me to leave the flat. I am worried that I am being controlled/taken advantage of.
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My parents are angry at me for trying to leave the flat he bought me and is refusing to have a mature conversation without laughing at me over bringing this up
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AITA for considering renting… or even cutting them off bc they’re so toxic over this (and other things..)
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Young woman sitting on a couch with a skeptical, guarded expression, like she's processing a family dispute, as shown by a model.
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EDIT: the flat is in my name, I legally own it on every document. Further, when I say they won’t let me rent it out, I mean that renting it out is legally possible, yes, but I have a strong feeling they will not speak to me if I do rent. Sorry for the confusion, should have proofread
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young woman clasping her hands on a couch, looking troubled and deep in thought about a family dispute over a flat, as shown by a model.
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The parents' position is not unreasonable on its face. They bought the flat, they asked for occasional use of a room, and now the kid wants to rent it out in a way that blocks that arrangement. The problem is that "we bought you something therefore we get to dictate how you use it forever" is not actually how gifts work, and laughing at your adult child during a serious conversation about their financial independence is not a great look for people who want to be taken seriously.
The kid's position is also not unreasonable. Being unable to move forward financially because a property you legally own comes with invisible strings is a real problem. The "I was 17 and don't remember agreeing to that" argument is doing some heavy lifting though. Seventeen is old enough to sign documents, understand that a free flat comes with expectations, and notice when your parents are using a room as a holiday home on a regular basis.
Cutting your own parents off over a property dispute is where things get a bit dramatic. These are not harsh parents. They are controlling ones who gave an expensive gift and are now wielding it, which is annoying and worth pushing back on, but probably not worth a permanent family rupture.
Rent the flat. Deal with the fallout. That is what owning property means.
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