‘Breaking news’: Local cat gets caught and featured on news for stealing neighbor's pool noodle for "meowsterious" reasons

It's not really stealing when it's already his. We know this might be confusing, but let us walk you through the logic. Cats own everything they see, which makes everything in the neighborhood theirs. Therefore, the pool noodle that this cat "stole" was actually just him taking back what was his by birthright. 

It's sad when you can't even trust your local news sources anymore. We're not usually the ones to put others down, but this is a terrible smear campaign against our purrfectly adorable kitty posted in Reddit's r/cats community. However, this video actually made it to the local news, where they accused this fluffy feline of "stealing" a pool noodle from a neighbor's backyard. How do they know he was stealing? Maybe the cat lent it to the neighbor and they never gave it back? Purrhaps the cat was attempting to save the neighbor from the "giant snake" that was lying in wait in their backyard? We're just saying… if it had been a dog, they wouldn't have said he stole it.

What's more hissterical is that this story became 'breaking news' for this local channel, and the only thing we can say about it is we wish this was the kind of news that was breaking all the time. More impurrtant than the actual theft itself are his cute little legs trotting along while he carries that giant pool floatie down the sidewalk, and how his belly (technically it's called a "primordial pouch", but belly is much cuter) swings back and forth as he struggles to carry the noodle that's at least 4x his size. 

Not many will stand up for this cat, but I Can Has Cheezburger will. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Just because some cats are kleptomaniacs doesn't mean all cats are certified cat burglars. We won't rest until this cat has his name cleared! You can be the judge of his character for yourself by watching the pawsitively hilarious video below. We hope you'll be on the right side.