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    24-year-old youngest sister refuses to go on family vacation due to sleeping arrangements: 'Since I am the youngest sibling, I have to put up with whatever option was the most inconvenient'

    Author image for Olivia Arocena
    Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
    Jun 25, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

    When your family thinks you're too young to demand your own bed

    The practical explanation might be simple: 'They're the youngest, they're more flexible, they'll manage'. Sometimes, when you are the youngest sibling, you're forced to remain in a babyfied position. This is probably not on purpose; it's just a way of functioning that got stuck when you were a baby. The thing is, you're now 25 and have back pain (I know 25 is still young, but computers are destroying us! lol), and you are staring at the couch your family gave you as a bed during vacation, like it is a dark joke about to be amended. Well, it wasn't a joke for this woman; it was more like the last straw.

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    • person sleeping on sofa
      via No Revisions

      An illustrative picture of the sister sleeping on the couch

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    • AITH for refusing to go on family vacation due to sleeping arrangements

      My (24f) family has started a new tradition of going to the mountains. each summer for a week- long family vacation. We did it last year and they are doing it again this year. Last year the group consisted of My boyfriend
      via deholli25
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    • and I, My dad and stepmom, my sister and her partner and her kids, and my brother and his wife and child. This year my dad texted a link to the group chat that was the cabin he booked
      via deholli25
    • for this year. I seen that there were two unfamiliar phone numbers in the group chat. I didn't think much over it at first. I asked my dad how everyone would be getting there. Last year, my dad and stepmom picked me
      via deholli25
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    • and my boyfriend up since we live halfway and we all drove together. My dad said that my stepmom's daughter and her boyfriend and child would be coming with them since they don't have a car that can make it up the
      via deholli25
    • mountain. Im not thrilled about her coming since I have never got along with her. So I guess my boyfriend and I will have to drive there ourselves and neither of us have experience driving on that kind of terrain before,
      via deholli25
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    • which makes us a little nervous. I went back to look at the link my dad sent me to the cabin. The cabin has 4 bedrooms and one sleeper sofa in the common area. There are now 5 couples in
      via deholli25
    • total. I just knew that I would be the one forced the sleep on the couch. All my life my parents have had the mentality that since I am the youngest sibling, I have to put up with whatever option was the most inconvenient. If
      via deholli25
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    • my parents got a hotel room, I would be forced to sleep on the floor while my siblings sleep on the bed if there wasn't enough room. Well, I am almost 25 years old now and I am done putting up with it. An important detail is that I
      via deholli25
    • a woman sitting in an open suitcase
      via Annie Spratt

      A model representing the sister undoing her luggage after deciding not to go on the trip


    • It seems the sister has a history of adapting to whatever the family expects of her. The family might be accustomed to not noticing that she isn’t a child anymore, and that putting her in that position costs something it didn’t before. It might be uncomfortable to listen to the fact that she has back problems because it would push the family to restructure their entire way of functioning.

    • have back problems and my family is aware of it. I have a slipped disc in my lower back. I slept on a couch for a vacation not too long ago and it left me in a lot of pain. I advised. my dad that if I would be forced to sleep on the
      via deholli25
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    • couch, I would rather just stay home. My dad assured me that I would have my own bedroom. A couple days later my dad texts me again and tells me that I the couch is very spacious
      via deholli25
    • and I should have no problem sleeping on it. I assume that he discussed it with everyone else and neither of them wanted to sleep on the couch either. I reiterated that I would rather stay home if that is my only option but I could.
      via deholli25
    • arrange to visit them at their house soon. My dad and siblings are very angry and think that I am being very ungrateful. I just don't want to spend all that gas. money to drive somewhere and be in pain. I also just don't think that
      via deholli25
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    • is fair. My partner and I are going to be taking a trip ourselves instead since we already put in our time off work.
      via deholli25
    • man and woman sitting on hanging bridge
      via Daniel J. Schwartz

      A picture representing the couple on their own trip

    • Either way, it’s not ok to accept a position (literally and figuratively) that doesn’t make her comfortable. It's sad, but in life, we have to stick to our principles or even our desires and give up trying to make other people understand them. It’s pointless to have long discussions about things the other person will never fully recognize; it leaves everyone exhausted, and it doesn’t take us anywhere. To have a more civil conversation, we can always use an excuse, such as: ‘Omg, something came up, I can’t go this time’, then forget about it and have an excellent vacation with our boyfriend. Some conversations are not worth it. Being only where one is truly appreciated is.

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