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A hardworking man refuses to let his brother live rent-free in his second flat after years of saving to buy it: ‘I can't set myself on fire to keep him warm’

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  • Man in a blue shirt sits by a window with his hand near his mouth and a concerned expression.
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  • Me and my brother have always been on different paths. Ive worked hard, lived well below my means for years, saved like mad and recently i was finally
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  • able to buy a second little place, a small flat, by stretching myself a fair bit and using the equity in my first one. My brother on the other hand has always lived for
  • the moment, decent enough salary but very little to show for it, lots of holidays, lots of takeaways, that sort of thing. No judgement, its his life.
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  • The plan with the new place is to rent it out modestly to help cover the mortgage and slowly build a little something for my future, since i dont have the safety net some people have.
  • My old place which i still own is being kept as my main home for now.
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  • The trouble started when my brother got wind of all this. Hes recently split with a partner and is back living with our parents while he sorts himself out,
  • Man in a gray shirt leans on a bed with hands under his chin in a bright bedroom.
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  • which he isnt thrilled about. He came to me a couple of weeks ago and basically asked me to "let him move into" one of the flats, ideally my old one, rent
  • free, while he gets back on his feet. Not for a few weeks not paying anything.
  • I tried to say that i wasnt comfortable doing that, that ive worked really hard for both places and im counting on the
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  • rent from the new one to cover the mortgage, so i cant just have him living for free in either. I offered to help him
  • look for somewhere reasonable even said id put a bit towards his deposit if he found a decent rental.
  • He got angry. He called me selfish said im "lording it" over him because i own two places now, said its "barely any cost" to me and ive forgotten where i
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  • came from. My mum is gently nudging me to "just let him stay for a bit, hes your brother." My dad thinks ive done more than enough by offering deposit help.
  • I do feel a little bad because i know hes not in a great spot but i didnt cause it and i cant set myself on fire to keep him warm. AITJ for refusing?

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