• FAIL Blog
  • Employee
  • Workplace
  • Horrible Bosses
  • Neighbors
  • HOA
  • Family Drama
  • Parenting
  • Customer Service
  • Entitled People

  • Links
  • About Us
  • Editorial Guidelines
  • Terms
  • Privacy
  • Security
  • DMCA Policy
    • search email community favorite this article chev-right latest posts article list comments tags video article login twitter facebook menu pinterest whatsapp

    25-year-old woman asks her 27-year-old boyfriend about clarity on their future and he breaks up with her: 'He later said he spoke to his mother and she said he should marry 6 months after finishing postgrad'

    Author image for Olivia Arocena
    Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
    Jun 19, 2026 9:30 PM EDT

    Who determines our relationship to love and marriage?

    At first, I thought this was yet another story about a guy getting cold feet right at the moment he is asked a big question. This is how it always goes for me: everything seems to be going fine, and at some point, I decide to bring up some variation of the 'what are we?' question, and all we had goes up in flames. I think this is a fairly universal experience and not just my bad luck… Right?

    Well, this wasn't the case at all for the young woman who shared this story, although it has some similarities with it which we're analyzing later. Also, his dragging the mother into the debate is all very cliché, but I'm not going to be prejudiced about this or project my love life frustrations onto it; the commentary will go in another direction, I promise.

    Add as a preferred
    source on Google
    Advertisement
    • man with surprised expression
      via Vitaly Gabriel

      A male model representing the boyfriend getting cold feet when asked about the future

    • Advertisement

    • Asked my bf of 3years for a timeline on our future, he broke up w me

      Okay so I (25F) am about to start my MD residency after clearing my exam with a very good score, I've been dating my (now ex) bf for 3 years, out of which 2 of those years were in long distance where we haven't even met once
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Advertisement
    • over this time. My bf (27M) was preparing for his competitive exams in the past 2 years, and both the times he hadn't been able to clear it. He's been living at home w his parents, unemployed for the last 2years, his next exam is a
      via flamingpotatoh
    • year from now. We've made it clear from the beginning that we see a future w each other. In the past 6months i lost my dad to cancer, had so many other responsibilities and also had to clear my medical exams.
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Advertisement
    • I come from a conservative family where you're expected to marry early. I recently asked when we might meet, and whether he'd spend time with me if I visited his city. He said no, because he hasn't cleared his exam yet and feels
      via flamingpotatoh
    • ashamed of his situation. When I asked for some clarity about our future (when we might meet, get engaged, or marry), all I got was "I don't know." He later said he spoke to his mother and she said he
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Advertisement
    • should marry 6 months after finishing postgrad, which would be around 5 years from now. I told him I'm not comfortable delaying marriage beyond 28 and my family wouldn't be okay w this, and asked whether marriage during
      via flamingpotatoh
    • postgrad was an option. He said no because he wouldn't be earning and he thought both our families wouldn't agree. The conversation then shifted completely. He accused me of wanting to
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Advertisement
    • silver ring with gemstone in a box
      via Jackie Tsang

      A visual representation of the decision of marriage and what it secretly entails

    • Having a boyfriend you don’t see for two years is all very weird to me; it's more like having a pen-pal. You can totally develop feelings for someone you don’t see and sustain them if you’re present enough, but at some point, the body keeps the score lol. Long-distance relationships have to be one of the most heart-wrenching variations of relationships. I did it, don’t recommend it. Maybe one has to go through that horror to learn not to go through it ever again. Well, I’m speaking from my experience again, it probably works if you don’t like your personal space to be invaded like EVER.

      Anyway, back to the topic, what struck me the most is how much their families are involved in their decision-making around love, and I think that might have to do with their culture, and that’s ok, but it definitely led me to think how much of our experience of love and relationships is dictated by cultural mandates. I know this is a basic idea, but I even went so far as questioning whether we as humans would still create mandates around relationships if all we had now were erased from our consciousness somehow. I think the answer to that question relies on the fact that all ancient cultures had an idea of romantic love and rituals attached to it, even though they were all different.

    • leave him because he's a "loser," said it was convenient for me to dump him now that I've achieved my career goals, and brought up how he supported me during my difficult times. The thing is, I never mentioned
      via flamingpotatoh
    • breaking up. I was only asking for clarity about our future together. What frustrates me is that whenever we've had relationship issues, (I'd tell him something he did which upset me), he'd
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Advertisement
    • immediately take it as a personal attack, get incredibly defensive, take jabs on my character, and call himself useless, loser, nobody and break down, then I'll have to set my problem however small to reassure him and fix it. But
      via flamingpotatoh
    • rn, his future timeline is something he should come up w right and not take the backseat and see where life takes him, especially when another person also wants to spend their life with him.
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Should I have waited for a while before bringing this up w him?
      via flamingpotatoh
    • Advertisement
    • silhouette of a woman running
      via Venti Views

      A picture representing what I think the woman should do (run the other way)

    • If I had to give MY opinion, I’d tell the girl to run away from this guy. I don’t like how he flips situations to paint himself as the victim and makes other people responsible for his decisions; those are not ok traits for a long-term partnership. It will hurt for a while, but she’ll find a better husband in the future if she puts herself to it.

    Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

    Tags

    relationship advice marriage marriage drama relationships toxic relationship
    Like
    Scroll Down For The Next Article
    Show Comments

    Also From FAIL Blog

    44-year-old woman considers leaving her boyfriend over a pillow: 'I just feel like I've run out of ways to calmly communicate why this is important to me'

    44-year-old woman considers leaving her boyfriend over a pillow: 'I just feel like I've run out of ways to calmly communicate why this is important to me'
    Next Article