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41-year-old man allowed his friends to pressure him into organizing a hiking trip without his wife: 'They have also made remarks implying that my husband should prioritize their trips over plans he has made with me'

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  • How do I (F43)navigate a situation where my husband's [41M] friends openly dislike me and pressure him to choose them over our marriage?

    My husband (41M) and I (43F) have been together for 17 years and married for 14.
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  • He has a group of friends he regularly goes hiking with for several days at a time. I never had a problem with that and always supported him spending time with his friends.
  • The issue started after one of their trips. One of his friends invited several women to join the hiking group because he was interested in one of them. My husband didn't tell me about it at the time. Later I found out that one of his
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  • friends had encouraged him not to mention it to me and even suggested deleting their chat conversation about inviting the women.
  • What hurt me wasn't that women attended the trip, but the fact that information was intentionally hidden from me. My husband later admitted it was a mistake, apologized, and said he should not have listened to
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  • his friend. After that, he suggested I could join a future hiking trip. Since then, I feel that some of his friends have become openly hostile toward me. During group gatherings they make
  • comments about how their trips are "for the guys" and how they don't bring their wives or girlfriends. They have also made remarks implying that my husband should prioritize their trips over plans he has made with me.
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  • One particular friend has a history of making jokes at my expense, including comments about me being three years older than my husband.
  • My husband agrees that the main instigator behaved badly and has cut contact with him. However, he still wants to maintain friendships with the rest of the group.
  • My concern is that the others either participated in or supported this behavior, and I no longer feel comfortable around them.
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  • silhouette photo of a group of men under the night sky
  • What would be a healthy way to discuss boundaries with my husband regarding friends who openly disrespect his spouse and marriage?
  • How can we handle this situation without creating ongoing resentment between us?
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  • silhouette of three women with their hands in the air during sunset

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