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Happy couple embracing outdoors, capturing a romantic moment of love, connection, and relationship happiness.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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AITAH for asking to switch our vacation destination?
Backstory: My (28 F) boyfriend (30 M) mentioned he wanted to go on a trip for our 3rd anniversary (I think a proposal may be coming!).
Originally we planned to stay in the US, but recently (within 5 weeks of our anniversary) he suggested going internationally instead (from home in the USA to Curacao). He suggested it we always talk about going to one day because its mentioned in a song we love, and we looked up a picture that looked pretty, but that was the extent. I thought it would be funny to visit a place just based on that.
I have been begging him to travel anywhere but Florida or North Carolina (our normal destination due to his family) since we started dating, so its a huge deal that he offered! We both only get 10 days PTO/year and have not gone on a special trip besides to those states.
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MY DILEMMA: I've seldom travelled internationally and really, really have been d*ing to go somewhere DIFFERENT with him. I know its not the same, but for our first non-Florida international trip together Curacao kinda feels like, well, close enough to the Florida Keys vibes. We have family in beach towns so we visit them often and while Curacao looks nice and I know will have new culture, it is a small beach island.
I really want to experience new nature (we are huge animal lovers), food, culture, etc. and have some experiences outside of beach lounging and snorkeling which we have already done plenty of together. After some deliberating I asked if we could switch to Costa Rica, and he didn't seem to mind. We booked the flights to Costa Rica tonight (still refundable for 24 hours) but now Im wondering if I am an a*shole for asking to change the plans when I suspect he is proposing, and if I'm planning too much. We only have 7 days so its a lot to cram, but I had a $1500 flight voucher so the flight was basically free. We are visiting his family in Florida the week before so its a short flight.
TYIA. I know this is probably a cringey post, I overthink everything and just want my SO to be happy. I tend to evaluate all possibilities trying to make the perfect trip when maybe I should just go with the flow.. but I dont expect international travel to happen again anytime soon for us, and REALLY think I'd enjoy the nature in Costa Rica more.
PS I am so anxious about this potential proposal please send me chill vibes and words of wisdom.
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The post quickly garnered a lot of opinions from Redditors, many of whom thought the problem was not the destination at all. But comments were more about communication and expectations and if changing a vacation plan is really a big deal when both people seem excited to spend the time together. Here are some of the most common responses.
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If he already switched the tickets and said it was fine, then it's fine. Trust your bf that if he didn't want to go, he would have said something and not booked the tickets.
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Close-up of a marriage proposal with an engagement ring, symbolizing commitment, romance, and a new chapter together.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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NTA he is/was agreeable to the destination change but if you are worried you should be asking him not reddit.
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sounds like he brought up curaçao since you’ve talked about going and thought you would like it, not because it was somewhere he was d*ad set on going. i’m sure he just wants to make you happy and will be happy going anywhere with you.
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Girl enjoy your trip and stop overthinking it! Trust that your bf wouldn't have said yes to the change in plans if he wasn't happy with them. If you need reassurance feel free to ask him for it though. A good relationship is built on good communication.
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Please don't get your hopes up for a proposal. You will disappoint yourself if it doesn't happen.
NAH you can change the destination
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Couple watching the sunset by the water, reflecting on love, companionship, and a shared future.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Costa Rica is stunningly beautiful. You’ll both have a great time there. Just love that he wanted to do this for you and enjoy whatever it is. Don’t get too wound up about a proposal. That might not be the why. Just love it for whatever it actually is.
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I dunno if YTA or NTA, would have to ask him:):) Do you both have passports? That could be a snag in a 5 week timeline! And do you have copies of your birth certificates to do such? Do either of these places require visas? This is prob the most important stuff to consider, hope you have a fabulous trip wherever you choose to go:):)
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Most readers concluded that a healthy relationship should be able to withstand a change of travel plans. Whether the couple decides to explore the rainforests of Costa Rica or to celebrate in another location altogether, the destination is only part of the story. The places they go together will probably mean a lot less to them than the memories they make.
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