Job applicant feels torn about accepting job offer after manager asks about her plans for starting a family: 'We like to plan around things'

Ally Perry • Writer and Editor

Jun 9, 2026 6:00 AM EDT

Is a manager entitled to know about a prospective employee's family planning?

It is common knowledge that full-time employees who are also parents often struggle to balance the two responsibilities, and can get penalized by their workplace for prioritizing their parenthood. What is sometimes less discussed is that employees can also be judged for their potential to start a family, long before they have even started thinking about kids. Employers want to get their maximum value for money, and that takes a hit if one of their workers has to worry about children.

The thing is, it is quite difficult to hire and retain employees if a manager makes a big deal about their family arrangements. Plenty of people have kids or will at some point, and they do not want to feel like they are being persecuted for it in the workplace. An employer that makes too much of a big deal about whether or not their employees have kids is more than likely to be seen as a red flag, no matter what a person's family status may be. For many, it is going to be a dealbreaker when it comes to accepting a promotion or job offer.

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A job applicant was made to feel uncomfortable when they had a final interview with three people they would potentially be working with if they got the role. While the interview seemed to go well for the most part, they were thrown a curveball by the question that the hiring manager asked close to the end.
He wanted to know whether they were planning on starting a family any time soon, because the team considered it important to ‘plan around’ it. While taken aback, they answered the question and were later offered the job. However, they were in two minds as to whether they should take it.
Got asked something really inappropriate in a final interview, did I handle it right?

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