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    Man refuses to continue supporting 60-year-old mother after 18 months of doing so, leading him to question whether or not that was a good decision: 'The timeline I warned her about has now arrived.'

    Author image for Olivia Arocena
    Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
    Jun 9, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

    Are we doing the right thing by being so individualistic?

    This story breaks my heart, partly because I went through something similar and because, even looking at it from many different perspectives, it's still really hard to find an easy solution.

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    • man clapping hands with elderly woman
      via Age Cymru

      A young male model with an elderly person in representation of our protagonist and his mother

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    • AITA for refusing to continue supporting my mother after she ran out of money?

      My mother is in her early 60s and about two years ago ended a 15-year relationship. As part of the separation, she received about $70,000 in cash and a paid-off car.
      via kleincs01
    • At the time, my wife and I were deciding whether to renew our lease. My wife suggested renting a house with a separate ADU so my mother could move in nearby and have support while she got back on her feet.
      via kleincs01
    • We charged her below-market rent and the understanding was that she would use the time to find work and become financially independent.
      via kleincs01
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    • Before she moved in, I sat down with her and helped create a budget. I explained that without income, her savings would eventually run out. I gave her a realistic timeline for how long the money would last.
      via kleincs01
    • Over the next 18 months, she paid her own bills using those savings, but made very little effort to find a job. She has not worked consistently in many years. I helped build her resume, applied to roughly 180 jobs on her
      via kleincs01
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    • behalf, found interviews, and repeatedly tried to help her create a plan. The timeline I warned her about has now arrived. Her savings are gone and she was unable to pay rent this month.
      via kleincs01
    • smiling elderly woman
      via Ravi Patel

      Model representing the mother whom our protagonist is not able to keep supporting

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    • I totally understand, I’ve been there. The moment you are trying to spread your wings, you suddenly have to help your aging mother, and an enormous weight seems to build around your neck. Ideally, everyone should be able to support themselves, and from there we’d all lead happy, successful lives, but given that fantasy world doesn’t exist, I think we are acting a little ungrateful towards our old folks.

    • My wife and I have a young child and our own financial obligations. Our lease ends in October, and I've told my mother that if she does not have reliable income by then, I will not continue a living arrangement that requires
      via kleincs01
    • me to financially support her indefinitely. I love my mother and I'm grateful for many things she has done for me throughout my life. But I also feel like I've spent nearly two years trying to
      via kleincs01
    • help her avoid exactly this situation. AITA for drawing a line and refusing to become my mother's long-term financial support system?
      via kleincs01

    • Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the son’s fault that his mother doesn’t currently have a steady income, or that she can’t find a job, but it’s probably not her fault either; it’s just not a thing about fault, it is what it is, period. Think about it, that mother probably helped her son through his first 20 years of life and continued to help him when he went through difficult times; it’s not that he owes her the same, but leaving her alone in such a vulnerable state is definitely not the most loving attitude. Trying to find a job in your sixties is not the same as in your thirties; companies won’t hire you, they’ll think your skills are outdated, that you won’t last much in the position, and that you will not have the energy or the mental agility of a 20-year-old (which is nonetheless true). Life would definitely be more beautiful if we started functioning more like communities and organized our lives around giving back. All that said, sometimes life gets in the way, and it becomes really difficult to offer our support in a concrete manner, and money really sometimes just isn’t there to begin with.

    • No, he is obviously not evil for drawing the line, especially after helping her for all that time, and because he has a young child; sometimes we’ve got to save ourselves. But where can the mother in this story go live after this? The consequences of this decision are too big. This is a problem that affects most of us at one point in our lives, yet we have little to no answers about how to support those who have long supported us. Would we be strong enough to endure the same fate if it happened to us?

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