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Male model representing the fiancé, stacking coins on top of a table, just like he stacked the $77.000 in his bank account.
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My (F28) partner (M28) kept secret how much money he has in savings and let me pay for most things
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Some people approach relationships as if their partner were a vending machine that provided eternal support, and that could be sort of acceptable if those same people offered their support right back, but most of them don't, or it gets lost in translation somewhere in between all that energy exchange. At any rate, we shouldn't believe we are entitled to our spouse's financial support if that's never been an explicit part of the 'contract'.
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Surprises are a controversial type of gift, especially if they come after years of related hardship and efforts for the person receiving them. Also, as readers, we're well aware of the fact that if you were to be discovered hiding something one day, the easiest way to elude moral trials would be to affirm that you were planning to reveal it later as a heroic surprise. I mean, obviously, in this case, the surprise excuse was just that, an excuse, and life would probably be better in general if those kinds of surprises [assuming they were actually thought of as surprises] never came to fruition, and people just became accustomed to performing small acts of goodwill and cooperation every single day.
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This betrayal is probably too high a cost to pay for marriage, and some plans are better undone even if that undoing comes with great grief. Of course, people can and will make mistakes, and who are we to judge if the parties involved forgive them? But sustained subtraction of what could be added to the relationship, even after watching your fiancée struggle to come up with solutions, is one heck of a 'How did we get here?' situation. Makes you wonder if all that effort put into the partnership amounted to anything. I correct myself there, maybe the answer was always right in front of us, it amounted to $77.000.
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