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Mother-in-law invites herself on family car trip, refuses to accept boundaries

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  • Mother-in-law shares snacks with her 2 young family members during a road trip stop, as 3 models display.
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  • MIL makes decisions that affect me

    My family is taking a trip to a Caribbean island where my husband is from. We are traveling with my mother and daughter and as soon as we land we are driving 2 hours away for a family gathering. My mother in law decided she would
  • meet us at the airport and ride with us to the small town. My MIL has a car and can drive herself but doesn't want to. I didn't say much about her inviting herself in our car initially since it's just one other person. Now
  • MIL snaps a photo of her 2 young family members, who sit unhappily in the car, as demonstrated by 3 models.
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  • she worked in that it will be her and her other granddaughter (my husband's teenage niece). My husband tried to push back that they wouldn't both fit in the car. She brushed it off that he can upgrade the vehicle size or if not it's
  • ok because they are small and would be fine. For context...my husband is sensitive to sound and becomes very irritated when driving and he generally gets irritated with his own mom. I usually can put up with
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  • Teen girl sits uncomfortably on a long car ride with her family, as depicted by a model.
  • her longer than him as she nags and repeats everything often (she's always been like that). My daughter gets anxious on longer car rides and when around other people she feels like she has to hold it in leading to exhaustion. and later meltdowns. My
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  • mother and daughter will be uncomfortable driving with 2 additional people although they won't be the ones speaking up about it. My MIL and SIL (teen's mom) always do stuff like this to work in what works best for them and my husband doesn't
  • MIL and 2 young family members go through their belongings during a car trip, as depicted by models.
  • communicate clearly or set boundaries with them. I step in and then I'm the enemy. There was a situation in the past where I was so upset I had a panic attack so I'm afraid of that happening again and not enjoying the trip.
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  • AITA for not being ok with this car ride situation? I'm sure there will be more surprises during the trip.
  • Vacationers enjoy a Caribbean beach day, as depicted by models.
  • For further context my mom is coming with us because she lives with us as she is blind and it's harder for me to find a caretaker than to bring her along. Also, she loves. the beach and I feel guilty for not bringing her.
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  • Overall, I don't think she is not much of a nuisance, just has special needs but she is pretty flexible to the extent she can be. My husband is nice enough to bring her along on a family trip to see his family so I feel like an AH for appearing to
  • not be grateful and flexible to his lack of good communication and setting boundaries with his family. AITA?
  • This person had the perfect solution

    WorkingInterview1942 It's just too bad that the rental car company only has small cars that will only fit the four of you. MIL and niece will have to find another ride. That's your story and you and your husband should stick to it. Also talk to the rental car people and don't let your MIL change the reservation.
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  • NaryaGenesis Tell your husband he can drive his mom and niece in his mom's car and you will drive yourself, your mom and your daughter. Or he can tell his mom point blank that she is not coming along and neither is niece and she can drive herself. He can choose which choice he wants.
  • Or you can rent another car for yourself, your mother and your daughter but in all situations, the three of you are not ending up in the car with his mom. NTA

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