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Friend organizes 7 person vacation yearly, considers giving up due to group complaints: 'But you're so good at it'

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  • A representation of five male and female friends sitting on the pier of a lake, smiling and holding drinks
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  • Am I wrong if I stopped organizing the annual friend group trip because nobody helps with any of it and then they complain about the details?

    I have a friend group of seven people, we've known each other since college, we're all in our early 30s now and scattered across three different cities. For the last five years I've been the one who organizes a trip every summer. It started because I suggested it once and nobody else stepped up and I just kind of kept doing it becuase I enjoy traveling and I'm good at logistics.
  • What the organizing actually involves: picking a destination that works for seven people's different schedules and preferences, researching accommodation options, finding something in budget that has enough rooms, making a group chat, creating a shared document with options,
  • booking things once we've agreed, tracking who has paid for what, following up with the two or three people who always pay late, making restaurant reservations, researching activities, building a loose daily framework so we're not spending the first morning of every trip standing in a
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  • A representation of male and female friends swimming and laughing in a lake at sunset
  • parking lot arguing about what to do. This takes somewhere between fifteen and twenty hours spread over a few weeks, plus ongoing coordination.
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  • Last summer I put together a trip to a lake house for four days. Two people complained that the house was too far from the nearest town. One person complained about the checkout time. Someone mentioned after the fact that they don't really like that region. Nobody said any of this when I
  • circulated three options for feedback. When I pointed this out the response was "we trust you to just pick" which is a compliment that conveniently also means nobody has to be responsible for anything.
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  • I mentioned to my closest friend in the group that I was thinking about not doing it this year and she looked genuinely alarmed and said "but you're so good at it." I said yes, I'm good at it becuase I've been doing it for five years. She said she wouldn't even know where to start. I said I could help her figure it out. She said that sounded stressful. I said yes, it is, actually, it's somewhat stressful.
  • I'm not trying to blow up the friend group over this. I just want to either share the work or have the complaints stop. WIBTA if I said this year I'm not organizing and someone else needs to take it on, and if nobody does then we just don't go?
  • A representation of a US passport placed on another open passport and a map
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  • JustAslCanBeSoCruel If you stepping back from taking on the entire burden of planning blows up the friend group, then it wasn't that great of a group to begin with.
  • Let someone else do it this year. Maybe then they will appreciate your efforts more. And if you guys don't go, then you don't go. At least then your will know how much effort they are willing to put in so you can
  • start matching it and giving that energy to people that pay it back.
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  • lucwin2020 YWNBTA. Your friends are ungrateful. If you step back and no one will step up, even though you said you're willing to show them the ropes, I think that's all you need to know.
  • Sweaty Technician_90 NTA, let one of the complainers do it.
  • Quiet-Hamster6509 "I dont have the capacity to sort this year's trip. Someone else will have to sort this. "
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  • Chshr_Kt I say take your own vacation with friends who actually pitch in and don't whine about things after the fact.
  • Yikes44 NTA. But if you're worried that the whole thing might fall apart without your input, which seems quite likely, you could offer to do a handover.

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