-
A depiction of a man proposing to his GF on the beach with an elaborate setup, as displayed by models.
-
This Mom has been a doting parent for a long time, but she may be taking her love for her daughter too far.
Although Mom doesn't elaborate on it, she shares that she's been a single Mom for 21 out of the 23 years of her daughter's life. No doubt that had it's obstacles, though maybe it brought the 2 closer together.
-
A Mom and daughter spend time together as the Mom tries to make a decision about her daughter's secret engagement.
-
Now that her daughter is grown up, though, she seems to have a bit of trouble stepping away from her. This is an issue that lots of parents face when they find themselves with an empty nest all of the sudden. After you've spent the last 2 decades parenting, what do you do with yourself now?
Well. Some get hobbies. They lean into community service, reconnect with old friends, or get a part-time job that they enjoy. They'll still miss their kiddo, but it's a healthy way of tackling the lack of purpose that they may be feeling. Instead of bothering their child 24/7, they enter a new stage of life surrounded by other people in their community.
Here's what this Mom, going by Attitude-Mean, asked when she polled the community on r/AmItheA*******: is she wrong for wanting to show up to her daughter's proposal, knowing she's been uninvited by the daughter's fiancé?
-
Here's how the Mom started off her question:
My daughter and her boyfriend have been in a relationship for two and a half years, and her boyfriend asked me for his blessing last week to marry my daughter. He recently called me on the phone and indirectly asked me if I could please not show up to their proposal. I am conflicted on deciding whether or not to show up to their proposal.
It's already getting interesting!
I think the main takeaway is that the BF already knew Mom would want to crash the ceremony. Maybe he should've been totally, 100% direct about telling her not to show up, because now she's questioning everything.
-
Diamond ring in a jewelry box, as shown in a model photo.
-
I'd love to know exactly what the BF said that was so “indirect”!
I am conflicted on deciding whether or not to show up to their proposal. I am a single mother to her as her father d-ed when she was two years old, so I have been a widowed parent to her for 21 years and a parent in general to her for 23 years. I feel that being a single parent holds more of an impact when it comes to my presence at her proposal because if I don’t show up, no parent of hers will.
Being a single parent certainly is impactful, no doubt about it. But why is she so insistent on showing up to an occasion that is very often just the couple and their photographer?
-
The happy couple embrace after the boyfriend asks his girlfriend to marry him, as 2 models depict in a beach setting.
-
She goes on to explain her thoughts a bit more…
I can’t discuss this decision with my daughter yet, because it would spoil the surprise of her engagement. I know that she would want me to be there for her proposal, but I know it’s her fiancé’s proposal as well, and I don’t want to disrespect his wishes. I don’t know if it would be wrong of me to show up for my daughter’s proposal even thought I’m technically uninvited. I feel that I should show up for my daughter because I am an important person to her and this is a once and a lifetime kind of event, but I don’t know if it’s a selfish decision of me to show up uninvited.
She basically answers her own question. The fiancé doesn't want her there, and she wants to respect him. There's her answer.
Let's see what other people had to say about it though!
-
Celebration dinner place setting with flowers and candles as shown in a depiction.
-
Please don’t make their engagement about you.
I feel like there's a very good reason he had to deliberately ask OP not to show up and make it about themselves.
Yeah but, why did he even give the details of the prosal in the first place, if he never told OP how or when, then he wouldn't have had to go out of his way to ask her not to show up
-
"if I don’t show up, no parent of hers will"
parents dont belong at proposals.
Yup her daughter will be building an independent life with lots of experiences that her mother will not be privy to
The fact that your daughter's fiancé felt like he needed to preemptively ask you not to show up at a surprise proposal is a sign that you exhibit some boundary issues when it comes to your daughter. Think hard and long about that fact, and congratulate your daughter and her boyfriend afterward.
YWBTA.
Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.