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Mom’s Favoritism Ruins Son’s 18th Birthday After She Secretly Switches His Restaurant Pick for His 6-Year-Old Stepsister’s Favorite, So He Skips His Own Party Entirely

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  • Young man in a gray hoodie looking out from a dark doorway with a serious expression.
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  • I (18M) celebrated my birthday without my mom (44F) because she chose my stepsister's tastes over mine and now she wants another dinner for just us?

    I (18M) turned 18 a few weeks ago. My mom told me she wanted me to have a big family dinner at a restaurant instead of a party. She asked me where I wanted to eat and I told her my
  • top two choices. One I wasn't sure if they would be booked out or not so I gave a backup. She told me she was cool with that and I let her do her thing with everything else.
  • Two weeks before my birthday I found out that she had changed the restaurant because my 6 year old stepsister didn't like the food type and she instead chose
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  • her favorite restaurant without telling me. I checked it was true with my mom and we got into a fight. Then I told her to call it off or expect me not to show. She
  • Young man in a dark hoodie standing alone in a sunlit forest with a serious expression.
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  • asked me why I was being so childish and I told her she was choosing to cater to someone else's tastes over mine for my birthday. She defended the
  • decision and asked me why I wouldn't want to let my stepsister choose and she said it made her so happy to get the place she loves. I asked my mom whose birthday it was supposed
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  • wouldn't want to let my stepsister choose and she said it made her so happy to get the place she loves. I asked my mom whose birthday it was supposed to be. Then she asked me if I
  • really wanted her to upset my stepsister and I told her I didn't care since she didn't care about ruining my plans. She said my stepsister would be miserable in
  • the restaurants I chose and I said that wasn't my problem. My mom said that was so selfish and she's my little sister. I rolled my eyes and she told me she
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  • doesn't know a life where I'm not her brother and if she was my real sister I'd be okay with it. I told her I wouldn't be okay with it if she did it without me saying
  • Young man in a dark hoodie looking serious outdoors with trees blurred in the background.
  • it was okay. The fight went on for 5 days and I decided to move out instead of the fight continuing so much. My mom's husband would try to intervene and he basically told me to grow up and expected that to defuse things.
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  • My mom never changed the plans and the three of them and a few of my mom's family and her husband's family showed up but I didn't go and a lot of guests didn't go. I also ignored my mom's calls that day.
  • A few days later she texted and said she wanted to talk to me so I said we could talk on the phone. She told me it was her first time not celebrating my birthday with me and she hated it. I told her to blame herself and
  • her choices. She asked me to be kinder about it because she just wanted to make my stepsister happy and she went on and on about how little she is and how she thought I'd want to make her happy. I hung up because I didn't want to hear more.
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  • A few days after that she apologized and asked if we could celebrate my birthday just the two of us and make up for the disaster dinner. I told her I'd think about it. My gut instinct
  • was to tell her to f off and leave me alone. Another part of me loves her and doesn't want this to be a forever fight. But this isn't the first issue we had when it comes to the step stuff. She
  • was really upset I wasn't excited to have a stepsister and that I didn't want to call her my sister. She was upset when I didn't want to do a Father's Day football game with her husband
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  • two years ago. I had to drop out of a digital art class I used to take because she wanted that afternoon for one to one time with my stepsister and I didn't drive at the time and nobody else could take me. I was not
  • happy which upset her because she thought I'd go along with it. She would also get upset with me not taking home treats to my stepsister when I ate out with
  • friends or went to the store and she would cry that I wasn't as affectionate and loving as a brother and she wanted me to be.
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  • This feels like another version of all that and I think it'll keep being an issue so I'm not sure if another try is worth it. But I wanted advice because I'm not 100% committed to the off method but it's still what my gut tells me to do.
  • According Pizza8484 If you forsee yourself arguing in public at the restaurant trust your gut and dont go. Tell her maybe when some time passes and things cool off a bit youll meet her in
  • another setting, but youre not up to having the same argument where she refuses to see your perspective or to put you first as her kid on your 18th birthday.
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  • Shes being a mom and the dinner is more about making her feel better and alleviating her guilt than it is about making it up to you. Tell her shes your mom and you love her and dont want to fight with her but theres
  • no making this up to you, she ruined your 18th birthday by making it about someone else's kid and she cant come back from that or pretend that that never happened
  • Ilovewally I'm sorry your mother is doing this. She is prioritizing her new husband and new stepdaughter. I feel like she is trying to win them over. Unfortunately, you have become collateral damage.

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