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Daughter-in-law bans mother-in-law from her house after she went through her trash to prove she's a wasteful wife: 'She grew up with nothing, so I tried to be patient.'

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  • A senior woman sitting on floor and separating waste indoors in kitchen for her sustainable lifestyle
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  • Am I overreacting for banning my Mother-in-Law from our home after I found out she’s been "auditing" our trash to prove I’m a "wasteful" wife?

    I (27F) have been married to "David" (31M) for two years. His mother, "Linda," has always been "frugal" (her words) or "obsessive" (mine). She grew up with
  • nothing, so I tried to be patient, but things reached a breaking point yesterday. I noticed that every time Linda visits, she spends an unusual amount of time
  • in the garage near the bin area. I thought she was just being helpful with the recycling. Yesterday, I came home early from work and caught her with a pair of gloves, literally spreading our kitchen trash out on a tarp.
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  • She had a notebook. She was documenting things like: Half-eaten containers of leftovers.
  • Sandwich and chips on aluminum foil
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  • "Perfectly good" vegetable scraps that wasn't composted. The brand of paper towels I buy (she thinks they're too expensive).
  • A pair of David's socks that had a small hole that I threw away instead of darning.
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  • Pair of worn red socks with holes on blue sheets
  • When I confronted her, she didn't even look ashamed. She told me she's compiling a "financial intervention report" for David to show him that I am "bl_ding
  • his future dry" with my "extravagant" lifestyle. For context, I work full-time and make more than David.
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  • I lost it. I told her to get out and that she is banned from our house until she gets professional help. David came home and is now saying I'm "overreacting to an old woman's quirk." He says
  • she's just "anxious about his security" and that banning his mother over "looking at garbage" is cruel and "nuclear."
  • He wants me to apologize so we can have Sunday dinner. I told him if she steps foot on our property, I'm staying at a hotel. He says I'm being "manic" and "controlling."
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  • Careless_Welder_4048 Nor but your bigger problem is your husband. Why does he care more about how his mother feelings than yours??? If you don't nip this in the but now, this will be your future. And you better not go to Sunday dinner.
  • Separate-Set8710 True. The trash is weird, but his refusal to have your back is the real issue. He's choosing her surveillance over your peace.
  • ImaginationNo7722 So David wants you to be apologize for being upset that his mom dumped your household trash on your floor and then did a report on it???? I would have asked my MIL to leave as well. David is wrong....and needs to tell Linda how much it disturbed you.
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  • PreparationPlus9735 Not only that, but she is doing it to show that OP is a bad wife!
  • KombuchaBot Do not procreate with this man
  • HRDBMW I have a mother like that. She shuts up for a time, then it slowly builds until I tell her to drop it. If I don't eventually she will be furious that I bought oranges, because 'do you know we only got oranges for Christmas, if we were lucky!'

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