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    Parents try to set up 26-year-old with neighbor, get offended when he rejects their matchmaking: 'She's divorced and a single mother'

    Most people these days want their romantic partner to be their own choice.

    Let's be real, if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you probably want to feel like you have some control over the process. While some people do get together thanks to a nudge in the right direction, they are not likely to be happy with that decision unless they feel like they made it themselves.

    In the age where the dating app still reigns supreme, it is almost kind of wholesome to experience getting together with somebody who you didn't meet through a screen first. However, many of these real-life methods also have their downsides, and one of these is the potential for friends and family to meddle in your romantic life. 

    People think it is difficult to turn down a potential partner they are not interested in, but what can prove even more awkward is navigating this rejection with somebody who has your best interests at heart. They think they know who would really work with you, but they may not know you as well as they think they do. Chemistry can't be forced, no matter how many outsiders might be rooting for it.

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    • A woman and a man sit together outside, the woman putting her hand on the man's knee while holding a blue drink
      via Helena Lopes

      A woman and a man sit together outside, the woman putting her hand on the man's knee while holding a blue drink

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • A man was facing an issue with his parents, thanks to their desire to set him up with somebody he had known since he was a teenager. The woman who was the daughter of their neighbors was one of his crushes back in the day, although she had shown no interest in him.

      However, he did not feel like he wanted to be romantically associated with her now that they were adults. His parents didn't believe this and had been pushing him towards asking her on a date. He told them that this wasn't what he wanted, but he wasn't sure if he was wrong to crush their dreams.

    • Am I wrong for calling my parents delusional?

      I am 26 m. Now for context my parents have been good friends with our neighbors for years. They have a daughter Serena 26. Yes I had crush on Serena when we were teenagers and my parents and hers actively approved it. But she rejected me. When I think about it now I cringe. English is not my first language so sorry if my grammar and spelling isn't the best.
      via Much_Pepper6212
    • I moved away for my job and rarely came home because I got very busy. The last time I visited my family, Serena was married and had 2 kid's. This time she's divorced and a single mother. I guess you guys know where this is heading? If not, well to cut a longer story short, my parents and Serena
      via Much_Pepper6212
    • parents were asking about my love life and without thinking I said I was single. They casually mentioned that Serena is now single and I remember thinking so? After that Serena was suddenly showing up and introducing her kid's and while I was polite I wasn't really interested and just wanted to catch up with friends before heading back to where I live.
      via Much_Pepper6212
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    • Serena came over and asked if I wanted to hang out but I declined and said I already had plans. When she left my parents cornered me and asked what's wrong with me and that she interested in me and now it's my chance with her. I was taken aback and I guess they saw that as encouragement because they
      via Much_Pepper6212
    • started listing what I use to like about her and I laughed and said I was kid back then and it's not like that anymore. My mother got annoyed and said she a catch and she mature now and we will make a good couple. I said no and when they both started on me I called them delusional because that will never happen and the past is the past and it's going stay in the past!
      via Much_Pepper6212
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    • It's been a few days now and they aren't talking to me now. I think I might hqve gone to far. AITA for calling them delusional?
      via Much_Peepper6212
    • A woman holding a blue drink and a man sit next to one another outside
      via Helena Lopes

      A woman holding a blue drink and a man sit next to one another outside

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • ArwenandEowyn NTA. This is very weird but sadly very common. Your parents and probably her parents too are caught up in the fairytale of having. their kids married and being inlaws with their neighbours, keeping everything close to home.
      via ArwenandEowyn
    • They may have talked about it among themselves and got Serena carried away too with the idea that you're going to step in as this ready made husband and stepfather and have a picture perfect family with her. Christmas, Thanksgivings, 4th of Julys, all celebrated very cosily as one big happy family (assuming you're American, if not, apply your local festivals). Nip this in the bud now!
      via ArwenandEowyn
    • Aeoniuma NTA. You don't fancy her any more and said so. How is that going too far?
      via Aeoniuma
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    • dr_lilith_sternin NTA. The only thing that matters here is that you don't have feelings for her anymore (though the fact that you live in an entirely different place makes the whole thing even more nonsensical). They're just upset you've denied them and their friends some ridiculous matchmaker fantasy.
      via dr_lilith_sternin
    • Sure-Owl-3820 Huh? Son your parents aren't talking to you on the few days you are back home because they tried to set you up and you didn't like that? Your parents are being super controlling. NTA.
      via Sure-Owl-3820
    • Initiate a conversation with them and inform them that if they wish to continue not speaking to you, it's their choice and you'll respect it. But who you date is your choice and you are not interested in this girl and that's the end of the conversation. All the silent
      via Sure-Owl-3820
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    • treatment is doing is driving a wedge between you and them and showing you that Serena is apparently more important to them then you.
      via Sure-Owl-3820
    • That Theme_5283 NTA. Your parents need to get their heads outta the clouds. If you aren't interested you aren't interested.
      via That_Theme_5283
    • Quartz636 ΝΤΑ This reeks of your parents and Serena's parents concocting up a 'solution' to poor Serena being a divorced single mother.
      via Quartz636
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    • SpeedBlitzX NTA You're not interested that's that.
      via SpeedBlitzX
    • NapalmAxolotl NTA. You responded appropriately. This may be mostly about Serena and her parents; your parents want them in the family. It may be mostly about wanting you to marry anyone and produce grandkids. Unfortunately, you
      via NapalmAxolotl
    • won't really know the difference unless you bring another girl home and see how they react.
      via NapalmAxolotl
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    • Since they've already doubled down, expect more of that. They may offer a "compromise" where you spend time with Serena so they can throw her at you some more - do not accept. They may ambush you by having Surprise Serena at social gatherings. They may get her kids involved as pawns. This is definitely a case where if you give an inch, they'll take another mile.
      via NapalmAxolotl
    • Use your own judgment on whether or not to discuss it with Serena directly - but do not initiate contact. Only consider that if she messages you or if they throw her at you at a social event (hopefully metaphorical throwing only).
      via NapalmAxolotl

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