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    40-year-old daughter refuses to sign her 65-year-old mother's POA when her mother refuses to provide the complete document and explain blank sections: 'She also hadn’t signed'

    How many of us are ready to suspect our own parents of trying to "work an angle" on us?

    Synopsis:

    An adult daughter hesitated to sign an incomplete power of attorney document sent by her distant mother, leading to tension between the pair of them.

    I think most of us are probably on guard for someone who is trying to work an angle on us, whether if its' someone trying to sell us something without revealing all the details (ahem, real estate agents), our boss who is trying to get more than their pound of flesh from us without additional pay, or a business partner or supplier who is trying to get an edge.

    But I don't think many of us would ever suspect our own parents of doing this to us without good reason.

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    • 01

      [Am I wrong] For Not Signing a POA?

      Today my (40F) mom (65F) emailed me a signature page, labeled page 8, and texted me to say "I'm working on my will and healthcare directive, can you sign this and return it to me quickly?" Mind you, my mom and I aren't close at all. We live in different states, have a civil relationship,
      via strivingforfi
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    • 02
      speak a few times per year. The signature page listed my siblings and I as her agents (one sibling the primary agent, myself and the other as successors). My siblings hadn't signed either- all signature lines were blank.
      via strivingforfi
    • 03

      I apologized again, said I also couldn’t sign anything that wasn’t complete and fully executed

      Cheezburger Image 10629959680
      via Getty Images

      Image is representative, not actual subjects.

    • I mean, I'm not a lawyer (or a notary like the mother in this story), but being asked to sign only the signature page before you have the full document is an immediate red flag in any situation. Signing anything that has blank and unsigned sections is just a big no-no that everyone just kind of knows, whether they're familiar with legal documents.

      Adding an urgency and pressure to the situation to it too by adding the expectation to “print, sign, and scan” it back quickly before execution.

      These are, quite literally, the same tactics that scammers use to social engineer people into giving them money or, worse, unfettered access to private financial details.

      If things had been different, if they had been closer, there might be no other reason to suspect that there might be anything sifty happening here.

      It's possible the mother is just desensitized to these types of things, accustomed to collecting agent signatures in advance so the final notarized packet can be assembled later. But it's hard to think that she's not trying to get her daughter to sign off on more than she bargained for or to make it look like she had agreed to being cut out of the will entirely.

    • 04
      I texted her back and asked if she meant to send just the signature page. She said yes, it's no big deal, and explained why she chose the order of us as agents. I apologized and said I couldn't sign anything without reviewing the complete document, and if that was an issue, no hard feelings, my siblings are more than capable of handling it without me. She replied back that it's her POA, and reiterated the order of my siblings and I. I didn't reply, and after a few minutes, she texted me somewhat
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    • 05
      page, told me not to print them out, and said she'd give me a copy after I signed. I thanked her, let her know I was at work so it would take a while to review and follow up. She said "I figured you were at work and sent it so you could print, sign, and scan a copy back to me."
      via strivingforfi
    • 06
      IS- I quickly skimmed everything, and saw she hadn't made any elec there were many places for her to initial indicating what could and couldn't be done, and a blank spot where she could write in special instructions. She also hadn't signed, and it appeared that her name was listed as the witness, and she had listed herself as the notary (she is a notary btw she works at a real - estate law office).
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    • 07
      I apologized again, said I also couldn't sign anything that wasn't complete and fully executed, and reiterated there were no hard feelings at all if she couldn't accommodate that. She replied saying a couple different times "if you don't want any part of it", and I just kept saying I was sorry but there's no hard feelings and I'm
      via strivingforfi
    • 08
      happy to help out if needed in any other way. She also said that at her job (law office), people have their agents sign POAs all the time, before the POA is signed by the person executing and having their signature notarized. Now I'm feeling like maybe I was TA and should've just signed. Although flawed, it ultimately does look like just a standard POA in case anything happens to her. She is divorced from my father, if that matters.
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    • 09
      BigBirdsBrain NTA. Signing incomplete legal documents is a hard no, especially when there's pressure to "just do it quick." You handled it calmly and respectfully.
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    • 10
      DaleG2N If it's standard, let her fill it out correctly. Trust your gut on this, something isn't adding up.
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    • 11
      jeezusrice It sounds like you're uncomfortable signing an incomplete document that has major repercussions. Surely your mom understands you being uncomfortable with that. She just doesn't care about your discomfort. If I were in your position I would tell her to either fill out everything, or pay for a lawyer for you to speak with who can tell you what she's telling you independently. A lawyer would understand. NTAH
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    • 12
      Pedal2Medal2 NTA. Your Mom is knowledgeable about legalities, she's a notary. I don't know what her angle here is, but stand your ground
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