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My grandpa gave me a bunch of money before he passed, and now my uncles are saying I have to pay it back. Do I have to?
Hi, I’m gonna try to make this as short as possible. My grandpa was also my father figure. He taught me how to drive, walked me down the aisle at my wedding, etc. I even lived with him and my grandma for many months as a kid and teenager.
I moved from Arizona to Texas a couple of years ago, in an apartment. My grandpa wanted to help my husband and I buy a house. He also helped my little sister buy a house. He gave us $10,000 for a down payment.
Unfortunately we had too much debt with our car payments, so he gave us another $10,000 and told us we can pay him back just $100 on the 1st of each month with no interest until he passes away and then we’d stop paying. I dismissed him when he told me that because I didn’t want to talk about him passing away.
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I’m incredibly grateful and I’ve never been so spoiled in my life. I was never expecting him to do something so grand for us. It might also be of importance to note that when we were buying the house, they needed to know where this random money came from, so my grandpa sent them a signed document stating that he gifted us that money.
Anyway, this was in July. Fast forward to November, my grandpa gets sick and is told he has 1-1.5 years left. Unfortunately, he left us on Friday, about 6 months after his initial diagnosis.
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After losing the man who helped raise her, she is left not only grieving but also dealing with the financial situation he set up out of love. What felt like a generous, personal gesture now carries unexpected weight, as circumstances change and questions about money, intention, and obligation begin to surface.
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My two uncles went down to AZ to “help” out my mom after my grandpa’s passing. I haven’t seen or spoken to my uncles in about a decade. They never visit, call, nothing. They’re looking over finances and saw a paper that my grandpa wrote on that says “(my name), $100/ month, no interest, $10,000) and they’re insisting I continue making these payments.
In the last 10 years, I haven’t gotten a “happy birthday”, “merry Christmas”, “congratulations on the marriage”, nothing. They literally just are communicating with me to pay back the money. They’re very mad that their kids didn’t get any money from my grandpa even though they never call or visit ever.
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They’re currently selling all of my grandpa’s belongings on fb marketplace as well. My husband and I never signed anything saying we’d pay it back. It was a verbal agreement between my grandpa and I that I’d pay him, and he made it clear that he didn’t expect us to pay that $10,000 back in full.
To be clear, if my grandpa were alive, I’d pay him every month without a problem. I don’t want to pay my uncles, quite frankly. But legally, do I have to pay it all back?
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People had a lot to say about this situation, especially when it came to family expectations, verbal agreements, and whether a gift should stay a gift after someone passes.
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Historical-Slip-4404
Man your uncles sound like vultures just circling around for money. They ignored you for decade and now suddenly care about some payments?
The gift letter your grandpa sent to mortgage company is probably gonna be key here. If he officially documented it as gift to lenders then that's pretty strong evidence it wasn't loan. The verbal agreement you had was with him personally and d**d with him - especially since he specifically said payments would stop when he passes.
Your uncles can demand whatever they want but doesn't mean they have legal right to it. They'd need to prove there was actual debt owed to estate and gift letter kinda contradicts that. I'd keep all documentation you have about the gift and maybe talk to probate attorney if they keep pushing this.
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Blofish1
NAL but not sure your uncles have any right to start selling your grandfather's stuff. Sounds like you should contact a probate attorney. Also, don't make ANY payments that could be interpreted as paying this debt. One payment could mean that you acknowledge the debt.
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palbuddymac
Ask your uncles to show the “loan papers” that you and your grandfather signed.
No papers? No loan: gift.
And they know they have nowhere to stand on this or they’d come at you with an attorney.
In fact, consider getting a lawyer yourself and look into them selling his stuff: that’s also your inheritance in part.
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Quick-sand
I'm no attorney.
Based on my experience. Everything in his estate needs to be documented. There is a process with listing the death publicly, and paying taxes and debts before the distribution of assets. I'm pretty certain nothing is to leave until an executor/administrator is appointed. Everything is to be distributed properly according to the will or the law of your state. You need an attorney.
Also take pictures of everything, with screenshots of the items your uncles are selling.
Also note that if your uncles hire an attorney, then that lawyer is working for your uncles not you. I'm currently caught up in an estate claim myself. Family will eat their first born over greed. I'm lucky to have an estate/probate attorney who I've done business with in the past.
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jmooremcc
NAL.
The letter from your grandfather to the mortgage company is your proof the money was a gift.
Deal only with the executor of your grandfather’s estate. If your uncles, who are harassing you about the money aren’t the legal representative of his estate, you are not required to deal with them and they can pound sand!
If the executor of the estate contacts you and doesn’t accept the letter your grandfather wrote that the money he gave you was a gift, then you should consult an attorney for legal advice.
I wish you the best.
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She has every right to question what’s being asked of her. What her grandfather gave her came from a place of love, not obligation, and it’s okay to honor that intention while also protecting her own boundaries. Standing her ground doesn’t make her ungrateful: it shows she understands her worth and the difference between a gift and a demand.
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