Dad blames daughter of ‘not working enough’ after she switches from working 6 days a week to a mere 40-hour, 5-day schedule, she says: ‘I refuse to repeat the cycle of burnout’

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  Senior man working in an office.

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• "My dad thinks I’m 'not working' because I refused to keep working 6 days a week."

  I love my dad. He was a single parent who sacrificed everything to make sure my sisters and I had what we needed. Growing up, I watched him work two jobs, six days a week, for years. He never called in sick and rarely took a vacation. I always admired his work ethic, but I didn't truly understand the weight of it until I entered the workforce myself.

• I recently moved into a new apartment. My dad came up to help me move, buy some essentials, and grab lunch. It was a great day until the conversation inevitably turned to work. He has this underlying anxiety that I won’t make enough or that I’ll fail. He doesn't say it directly, but it’s there in every question he asks.

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  via Peerawich Phaisitsawan

  A businesswoman feels uncomfortable working.

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• I told him the good news: my boss values me, I’m moving up, and I’m finally getting a raise. Most importantly, I told him I’m moving to a 5-day work week. I’ve been working 6 days a week for nearly 7 months now. Between learning a new job, dealing with a move… I am completely burnt out. I even told him, "I can’t keep doing this long-term, and I shouldn't be expected to."

  The look on his face made it seem like I told him I had 24 hours to live. He immediately snapped back with, "Well, you can’t not work."

• The father in this story is having a hard time accepting that his young daughter has a different work-life balance than he did when he was her age. In his age, every free moment we have as young adults should be put towards work, while the younger generation knows that without time off to recharge, it would be very easy to fall into burnout.

  So when his daughter decided she needed to make a change to her work schedule and switch to only working 5-days a week, this dad reacted quite harshly. Instead of seeing this as an opportunity for his daughter to enjoy life more than he did, he sees it as her being lazy…

• I felt so defeated. I only took two days off to move my entire life before going right back to the grind. My employer actually agreed with me; they admitted 6 days isn't sustainable and are moving me to a 40-hour, 5-day schedule because it’s better for everyone. It’s a logical, healthy boundary.

  But in his eyes, wanting one extra day to breathe is equivalent to laziness or "not working." It’s incredibly frustrating to have your exhaustion dismissed because the previous generation was conditioned to set themselves on fire to keep the engine running. I can appreciate what he did for us while still refusing to repeat the cycle of burnout for myself.

  - Melly1265

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  via JackF

  Adult daughter reassures offended father.

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• Comments:

  The system is broken and your father is a symptom of it. / Weird-one0926

  I work 50 something hours a week, and get scolded for being tired. / FNSquatch

  I dont think this is a generational issue. As a solidly gen-x person I think we shouldn't work more than 4, 6hr days and that lunch breaks should be paid. It's people who drank the corporate kool-aid and those who didn't. / Blortzman

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  via Karola G

  Tried woman lying on a couch while working.

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