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“AITAH If I refuse to act as a resident gate opener for another tenant who keeps on forgetting her keys?”
“I am working from home and staying in an apartment complex. One time, I received this random friend request and message request from someone I don't know who turned out to be a tenant from another unit. She asked for a favor to open the gate for her as she forgot her keys, so I did.”
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“However, I notice that it becomes a recurring incident, almost everyday. She would even message me if I am still awake in wee hours so I can open the gate for her. Each of us were given a key to the gate but she and some other tenants keep on forgetting theirs. Seems like she just added me so I can be her gate opener whenever she comes home. We haven't even had a small talk about other things. I checked and she's a legit tenant.”
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“I don't like it when people bothers me frequently, especially those I'm not close with. Few times are fine, but if it becomes a norm, it's a nuisance. To be fair, I don't like asking for favors from others as well.
She started messaging me when our landlady posted a warning to penalize those who leave the gate unlocked while unattended, for security purposes. I did notice that before the warning, the gate was always unlocked or hanging open everytime I come home which means that anyone can just enter the building.
I sometimes turn off my messaging app so she won't bother me."
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Helping once or twice is not the problem. And who hasn't ever forgotten the keys? It's understandable; we've all been both the neighbor who helps and the one who needs help. But the whole thing becomes a problem when it happens way too often and starts affecting someone else's daily routine. At this point, it reflects the tenant's lack of responsibility. She should be able to access her own home without depending on someone else every time.
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Also, beyond the inconvenience, there's a security concern. Leaving the gate open or constantly relying on others to unlock it creates a risk for everyone in the building. A minor issue from one person can turn into a shared problem for the entire community. Being a good neighbor includes being mindful of how your actions affect everyone around you, and respecting other people's time and safety as much as your own.
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So, it's totally fair that this neighbor eventually got tired of helping and stopped responding. Her requests were no longer small favors; they had become a pattern that took his time for granted. We never know what he could be up to, and he's not responsible for her losing the keys. At some point, she has to take responsibility for her own habits and deal with the consequences. Perhaps now she'll be more mindful about not forgetting them.
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IndependentFilm4353
“Next time she makes this request, reply with the landlady's number. That's who the tenant should be calling, not you. (and if the key has been lost, which is what it sounds like, the landlady probably needs to know that so she can re-key if needed.)" -
Artisan_Gardener
Yes, stop being the doorman. Or, start charging for your services. Tell them, $20 each time you have to open the gate. Cash first, then open it. -
Chilling_Storm
“NTA Tell her that this is the last time and then stand by that. No matter how many times she texts you. She will figure out a way.”
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