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"AITAH for going scorched earth on my MIL after she intentionally sabotaged my birth plan?
I (24F) am currently sitting in my hospital bed fuming, and honestly, I don't think I can ever look at my mother-in-law the same way again."
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“I just had my third baby. My previous deliveries were traumatic (postpartum hemorrhage, the whole nine yards), and my mom is the only person who knows how to ground me when I start to spiral. Because of this, we had a hard plan for months: Husband takes me to L&D, MIL drives to pick up my mom, my two toddlers, and my gram (who were all staying at my mom's place an hour away). MIL lives right by them, so it made perfect sense.”
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"Fast forward to last night. I’m in active labor. MIL walks into my room completely alone. No mom, no kids. She literally shrugs and goes, "It was past 9 PM, I didn't want to wake everyone up just for a ride. Plus, I didn't feel like being an Uber tonight." Then she has the nerve to sit down and tell me that since my mom "already had her turn" with my first two kids, it was "only fair" that she got this one-on-one time with me."
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"I snapped. I didn't just yell; I told her she was d**d to me and to get out before I called security myself. I told her she’s officially banned from seeing the kids until I decide otherwise (which might be never). She tried to play the victim, saying I’m "disrespectful" and "hysterical," but the nurses eventually had to kick her out because my heart rate was spiking."
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“Now, my mom was able to make it to the hospital literally just as I was giving birth. My kids and my grandmother weren't able to make it, which bothers me a great deal (we promised our kids they would be the first to meet their sister, outside of us and grammie). I cannot forgive my MIL for this at all. I honestly feel like I hate her with every fiber of my being. But I'm being told I'm taking this too far and that it wasn't that big of a deal. The whole family is blaming my hormones for the freak out, and trying to get me to apologize for the ”d**d to me" comment, but I won't do it.
Am I overreacting for this? Or was this a power play?"
via JustQuantitying
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Not everything goes according to plan for most births, but if there are factors a person can control that they simply choose not to, that's not a good labor supporter to have by your side in the delivery room.
Although it was her third baby on the way, this young woman was prepared to risk cutting off her mother-in-law from the entire family after she tried to commandeer her birth plan. Maybe forgiveness lies in their future somewhere, but until the MIL recognizes her selfish ways, she's not going to get very far.
Families are full of drama, but forgiveness only comes around when you first admit you're wrong. A mother-in-law should support the mother of her grandchildren, not inhibit the experiences of her grandma counterpart. That's just bad karma…
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NTA- she planned it. It was intentional. Your husband not having your back after seeing and knowing what you wanted and what you went through is insane. He should have had your back- no questions asked.
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JustQuantitying [OP]
100% this. It was a power play for sure.
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Yeah. The biggest thing here is her husband should have blasted his mom, and his family and backed OP to the hilt.
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Yeah. The biggest thing here is her husband should have blasted his mom, and his family and backed OP to the hilt.
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NTA - The one giving birth makes the rules (their birth plan). Your MIL decided that her wishes were more important than your birth plan. Hopefully, your husband has your back.
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