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    Stepmom demands 22-year-old to donate $9,000 of her grandmother's college fund money to her 15-year-old half-brother

    Does this woman really owe her half-brother some of her grandmother's money?

    The 22-year-old recent college graduate had a close bond with her deceased grandmother, who specifically set aside funds for her college education. Now that she had finished school, the recent graduate was planning on using the remaining $9,000 of that money toward an upcoming move and potentially saving a chunk for future graduate school expenses should she need it.

    It seemed to be a logical plan for a young woman who was just learning to manage her own finances well. However, when her stepmother caught wind that there was still some money left over, she couldn't let it go. In fact, she enlisted the help of her husband, the college grad's father, to convince her to gift those funds to the 15-year-old half-brother she barely knows. But before we get to what the 22-year-old should do next, here's how the whole confrontation went down from her perspective.

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    • A recent college graduate walks on campus in her cap and gown.
      via Justin Wolf

      A recent college graduate walks on campus in her cap and gown.

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • [Am I wrong] for not wanting to share my college fund with my half brother?

      I recently graduated from college completely debt free, which honestly feels like a blessing these days. That was only possible because of a college fund my grandma set up for me when I was born. She was basically like a second mom
      via gentleshiver
    • picked me up from school, came to every recital, stayed over when I was sick. She passed away when I was 17, but before that, she made it very clear that the money she saved up was for my education only.
      via gentleshiver
    • She even had it written into a trust with my name, specifically for college related expenses. Anyway here's where it gets messy.
      via gentleshiver
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    • A young woman looks out the window.
      via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

      A young woman looks out the window.

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • My dad got remarried when I was 15. His new wife was never exactly warm toward me, but I was trying to be civil for my dad's sake. Two years after they got
      via gentleshiver
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    • married, they had my half brother, who's now 7. He's a sweet kid, and I don't have anything against him, but we're not close. I basically moved out for college shortly after he was born, so I only see him during holidays or quick visits.
      via gentleshiver
    • A couple of weeks ago, after my graduation, my dad asked to "talk privately." We sat down and he started with, "I'm really proud of you. You've done so well." Then
      via gentleshiver
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    • he got to the real point: "I was wondering if you'd be open to setting aside some of the leftover college money for your little. brother. You've got about $9,000 left, right? That could really help us start saving for his future."
      via gentleshiver
    • I kind of froze for a second. I told him I hadn't fully decided what I'd do with the leftover money, but I was planning on using it for my move (I got a job out of state), maybe a down payment on a used car, or even grad school in a couple years.
      via gentleshiver
    • He said, "I get that, but your brother doesn't have anyone else who can do that for him. It would mean a lot if you helped. You were lucky he should be too."
      via gentleshiver
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    • I replied (as calmly as I could), "But Dad, that money wasn't from you or anyone else. It was from Grandma. She saved that money for me. Not for anyone else, and definitely not for your new family."
      via gentleshiver
    • He got quiet. Then he said. something like, "I just thought you'd care more about your family. Guess I was wrong."
      via gentleshiver
    • An older woman looks sternly at her stepdaughter.
      via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

      An older woman looks sternly at her stepdaughter.

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • And that really p d me off. Because where was that same energy when he let my stepmom exclude me from holidays? Or when I had to figure out FAFSA and apartment hunting on my own because he was "too busy" with my brother?
      via gentleshiver
    • Now my stepmom has been acting super cold giving me that fake polite tone, and making comments like, "Well, not everyone's raised to be generous,
      via gentleshiver
    • I guess." My dad barely talks to me unless it's about surface level stuff. It honestly feels like I committed some crime just for wanting to keep my college fund for, I don't know, my future?
      via gentleshiver
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    • I told my mom (my parents are divorced), and she was livid. Said I shouldn't give them a cent, especially since my grandma never even liked my dad's new wife in the first place.
      via gentleshiver

    • Now that we've seen all the facts, it's pretty clear that the 22-year-old had absolutely no obligation to share that money. These funds were set aside for her and her alone. It would be disrespectful to the memory of her grandmother to use that money for something other than her own educational and, by extension, professional future. As for the 15-year-old, while we are sympathetic to his needs, it sounds like his parents need to be much better at planning their son's educational future than just trying to steal $9,000 from a family member. 

      There are plenty of people at fault for how this went down, starting with the 22-year-old's stepmother. After years of actively excluding her stepdaughter from family events, she has the audacity to guilt the author into giving up money that was never supposed to go anywhere near her.

      Equally at fault here is the author's dad. How dare he disrespect his daughter's grandmother that way and then put his own daughter in such a difficult, pressure-cooked position… all because he can't stand for what's right to his own wife!

      At least the author has a supportive mother by her side to navigate the complexities of this unfortunate dynamic. Here's hoping the mother calls up her ex-husband and gives him a piece of her mind! Something tells us he deserves it for more than just this reason.

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    family drama stepmom grandma money college college student Father
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