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Uncle leaves inheritance to 26-year-old niece but makes sister executor of the estate, she gets offended when her daughter won't share the money with her: 'I'm a saver, she's a spender'

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  • Close up of a young woman with her hair in a ponytail looking down
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  • Wanting to do the ethical thing

    My(26) uncle passed away and made my mom (his sister) the executor to his estate. However he left everything to me. I hadn't spoken to him in years and he spoke with my mom quite often, but
  • he was in a right state of mind and CHOSE to leave everything with me. My mom being the executor knows the amount and is already TELLING me, not even kindly requesting, what I am doing
  • A middle-aged woman wearing glasses sits on a chair in a bedroom, looking at her phone on top of a pile of documents in her lap
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  • with the money to help her in retire ?? | could tell she was getting heated when I didn't immediately say ok and just said we will talk about it at a later time. objectively I am very disciplined and
  • good with money/management and we have very different philosophy's, I'm a saver she's a spender. My whole life I've known her to be bad with saving, spending and debt. Of course I was going to be generous BUT on my own terms. Any input is helpful.
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  • A middle-aged woman wearing glasses, talking on a cell phone while sitting at a kitchen table
  • bobbolders She will get her portion of the estate as the executor. Other than that she money is yours. There isn't another conversation other than that.
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  • UpNorth_8 Are you the only child of a sibling? He didn't have children and you have no cousins on that side? Possibly he knew you wouldn't inherit from your mother since she doesn't have much and he wanted you to inherit from him. How long ago was the will written? He may
  • have made the sister the executor because the OP was underage at the time the will was done. I'd be interested to know how much we are talking, but it is in the OP's best interest to make sure the estate is administered properly. The mother could screw it up pretty bad. I would recommend the OP tell the
  • mother he will give her X amount if she relinquishes executorship to him. Probate needs to approve, but I see no reason they wouldn't since. he is 26 and sole beneficiary. He should talk to a lawyer about how to gift the money to the mother with fewest tax consequences.
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  • Fast-Builder-4741 NAL. It sounds like your uncle knew what he was doing leaving things to you so you could help take care of your mom in reasonable ways.
  • Eddie-Eddie Time and possession. Don't inflame, commit or rock the boat until the inheritance is in your account and name. Be vague and don't put your Mom as account co- owner on anything. You can gift or share as you wish with Mom later.
  • Also, try to appreciate her difficult work of closing your brother's estate, she had some different expectations....likely stings.
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  • not4wimps I'm executor of my sisters will and the lawyer said I can take 2%
  • greenplant2222 Would you have supported your mom financially without this inheritance? If yes, just consider your uncle's gift padding to help you achieve that goal you were going to do anyway.
  • If she's bad with money I would not give it to her directly. She may be mad, but don't let her emotions control you. At the end of the day if you are sending her living expense money/allowance she will get over it. You can even say it's from your uncle.
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  • Tipitina62 If you are feeling generous you could set up an account to be used for her retirement, but do not give her access to it now. But this is entirely up to you.
  • Securing a portion of the funds to be used in her retirement might actually be a help to you in times to come. Absent the money and earnings on it you would be Mom's primary retirement resource.
  • Which Witch9402 Ask for an expense sheet/report of everything she's done so she can be reimbursed properly. Write a check for her at end. Take the rest and invest in your name only.
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  • Uncle knew she was a spender and would blow it all. IF you're feeling generous and IF the estate is substantial, and IF you're feeling generous, you could set up an amount and put it in a trust so she cannot just spent it. It would be protected and perhaps set up certain allowances - rent, health care costs, etc.
  • You are under no obligation to give her anything nor be her safety net for retirement.

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