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    Uncle leaves inheritance to 26-year-old niece but makes sister executor of the estate, she gets offended when her daughter won't share the money with her: 'I'm a saver, she's a spender'

    Should a person be obligated to share their inheritance if they are the only family member to receive it?

    Who gets what when somebody passes on is something that often proves to be a controversial topic within families. Relatives who previously seemed trustworthy can show a whole different side of themselves, and those who always tend to be problematic usually become even more so when the time of a last will and testament comes around.

    As a result, being one of the people who receives something from a late relative can sometimes feel like more of a curse than a blessing. What should be a no-strings-attached transfer of money or property becomes a difficult battle to retain something that should be unequivocally yours.

    It is a sad fact that those relatives who have the least valid claims to an inheritance will often be the loudest protestors when it comes to how a person's financial legacy gets divided up. This can be a headache for those who believe that they deserve what has been left to them with no added complications. 

    That being said, sometimes there are reasonable arguments to be made for dividing up what you have. These things can get complicated, and sometimes people miss out on the benefits because of reasons that are out of their control, and not necessarily fair. It is the person who has the most to gain out of the situation who holds the majority of the power, and they have the responsibility to use that.

     

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    • Close up of a young woman with her hair in a ponytail looking down
      via Apostolos Vamvouras

      Close up of a young woman with her hair in a ponytail, looking down

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • When one young woman's uncle passed away, he left his entire inheritance to his niece despite not speaking to her in many years. However, her mother, with whom he was in more regular contact, was made the executor of the estate. As a result, the woman's mom was putting pressure on her to share the money she had received to help her in her retirement. 

      While she wanted to help out her mom, she wanted to do it on her own terms, and she didn't appreciate the expectations being placed on her. She wanted advice on how to proceed in the situation.

       

       

    • Wanting to do the ethical thing

      My(26) uncle passed away and made my mom (his sister) the executor to his estate. However he left everything to me. I hadn't spoken to him in years and he spoke with my mom quite often, but
      via Prestigious_Fox_7887
    • he was in a right state of mind and CHOSE to leave everything with me. My mom being the executor knows the amount and is already TELLING me, not even kindly requesting, what I am doing
      via Prestigious_Fox_7887
    • A middle-aged woman wearing glasses sits on a chair in a bedroom, looking at her phone on top of a pile of documents in her lap
      via Centre for Ageing Better

      A middle-aged woman wearing glasses sits on a chair in a bedroom, looking at her phone on top of a pile of documents in her lap

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • with the money to help her in retire ?? | could tell she was getting heated when I didn't immediately say ok and just said we will talk about it at a later time. objectively I am very disciplined and
      via Prestigious_Fox_7887
    • good with money/management and we have very different philosophy's, I'm a saver she's a spender. My whole life I've known her to be bad with saving, spending and debt. Of course I was going to be generous BUT on my own terms. Any input is helpful.
      via Prestigious_Fox_7887
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    • A middle-aged woman wearing glasses, talking on a cell phone while sitting at a kitchen table
      via Centre for Ageing Better

      A middle-aged woman wearing glasses, talking on a cell phone while sitting at a kitchen table

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • bobbolders She will get her portion of the estate as the executor. Other than that she money is yours. There isn't another conversation other than that.
      via bobbolders
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    • UpNorth_8 Are you the only child of a sibling? He didn't have children and you have no cousins on that side? Possibly he knew you wouldn't inherit from your mother since she doesn't have much and he wanted you to inherit from him. How long ago was the will written? He may
      via UpNorth_8
    • have made the sister the executor because the OP was underage at the time the will was done. I'd be interested to know how much we are talking, but it is in the OP's best interest to make sure the estate is administered properly. The mother could screw it up pretty bad. I would recommend the OP tell the
      via UpNorth_8
    • mother he will give her X amount if she relinquishes executorship to him. Probate needs to approve, but I see no reason they wouldn't since. he is 26 and sole beneficiary. He should talk to a lawyer about how to gift the money to the mother with fewest tax consequences.
      via UpNorth_8
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    • Fast-Builder-4741 NAL. It sounds like your uncle knew what he was doing leaving things to you so you could help take care of your mom in reasonable ways.
      via Fast-Builder-4741
    • Eddie-Eddie Time and possession. Don't inflame, commit or rock the boat until the inheritance is in your account and name. Be vague and don't put your Mom as account co- owner on anything. You can gift or share as you wish with Mom later.
      via Eddie-Eddie
    • Also, try to appreciate her difficult work of closing your brother's estate, she had some different expectations....likely stings.
      via Eddie-Eddie
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    • not4wimps I'm executor of my sisters will and the lawyer said I can take 2%
      via not4wimps
    • greenplant2222 Would you have supported your mom financially without this inheritance? If yes, just consider your uncle's gift padding to help you achieve that goal you were going to do anyway.
      via greenplant2222
    • If she's bad with money I would not give it to her directly. She may be mad, but don't let her emotions control you. At the end of the day if you are sending her living expense money/allowance she will get over it. You can even say it's from your uncle.
      via greenplant2222
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    • Tipitina62 If you are feeling generous you could set up an account to be used for her retirement, but do not give her access to it now. But this is entirely up to you.
      via Tipitina62
    • Securing a portion of the funds to be used in her retirement might actually be a help to you in times to come. Absent the money and earnings on it you would be Mom's primary retirement resource.
      via Tipitina62
    • Which Witch9402 Ask for an expense sheet/report of everything she's done so she can be reimbursed properly. Write a check for her at end. Take the rest and invest in your name only.
      via WhichWitch9402
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    • Uncle knew she was a spender and would blow it all. IF you're feeling generous and IF the estate is substantial, and IF you're feeling generous, you could set up an amount and put it in a trust so she cannot just spent it. It would be protected and perhaps set up certain allowances - rent, health care costs, etc.
      via WhichWitch9402
    • You are under no obligation to give her anything nor be her safety net for retirement.
      via WhichWitch9402

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