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31-year-old woman charges friend $800 for leaving her stranded at a wedding 4 hours from home with no car

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  • A woman is stranded by the side of the road and is on the phone
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  • Am I in the wrong for charging my friend $800 after she left me 4 hours from home?

    Becky (31F) and I (31F) have been best friends for 20 years. In high school, we became close with Ryan and Daniel, and the four of us did everything together. Becky has always been fixated on Ryan. If he liked a girl, she would tear her apart or make passive aggressive comments until it was uncomfortable. When he had girlfriends, she would openly criticize them and act like they weren't good enough for him.
  • Eventually, she started doing the same thing to me. She would make comments to downplay my friendship with Ryan or subtly compare us, like she needed to prove she mattered more. It felt competitive for no reason, but I ignored it for years. Fast forward to Ryan's wedding last month. Becky and I drove together and shared a hotel. The passive aggressive comments started again. She said I would
  • not even be at the wedding if it was not for her, even saying things like that in front of other people. Later, in the hotel, she complained that Ryan did not spend enough time with her. She actually said, "Sorry to you and Daniel, but he should at least want to spend time with me."
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  • After years of this, I snapped and said, "What a weird thing to say out loud." She immediately escalated and said, "Oh what? You really think that Ryan and I aren't better friends?" and brought up that he asked her to help design the engagement ring.
  • I said, "I don't care who's closer, but it's weird that you care this much. It's not our fault you're in love with him." She stormed out and, instead of coming back, she drove off and left me stranded four hours away with no way to get back. The next morning I couldn't rent a car because I only had a debit card, so my only option was a same day flight back to where I live across the country, which cost $800.
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  • I sent her an angry text and a Venmo request. She hasn't responded and we haven't spoken in a month. I'll admit saying she's in love with him was harsh, and the text I sent after was not my best moment. We're supposed to talk tomorrow. AITA?
  • Commenters gave their two cents on this complicated story.

    Trick_Few NTA Ditching your friend without a way home is a safety issue. You had every right to be upset, especially when that came with a $800 plane ticket. I wouldn't say she's a friend anymore.
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  • A young woman on a plane puts her head in her hands
  • Riker_Omega_Th... NTA But real talk...you can't go through life with only a debit card You need to get a credit card and start working on your credit score
  • Get a basic card...one with a 500 limit Put a single tank of gas on it every month. Pay it off every month til they increase your credit limit Then just keep putting that single tank of gas on it and now you have an emergency credit card
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  • AvailableBuilder4... Unfortunately you will never get money from her and I doubt you would win in small claims court best to move on and go no contact with her Nta
  • Thismarno NTA and you aren't friends (haven't been for a long time). She needed to hear that you should have said - it years ago and found some better friends!
  • S... ESH You kept a toxic plant beside you for two decades, watched it spew unjust venom to other women and yourself and still decided to keep and call this person your best friend?
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  • You decided your final straw after 20 years was snapping at her during someone else's wedding whilst you were stranded? Also after the age of 30 travels without a credit card? That's the time you need it in case of an emergency.
  • Your friend is a grade A ah le but take some culpability here for your own inaction. There was nothing accomplished by you holding her accountable that moment that you couldn't have done in the past. In fact all it did was put you in a vulnerable position. It was
  • your decision to go with her and go credit card less despite knowing that she's prone to attacking you for Ryan. It was her decision to stand you alone and she's a person for that. Also to watch her treat women that way for years? Still deciding you want to
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  • bffs with her and then tolerating that. Teenagers I can understand lapses in judgement but you are more than well into adulthood. There was a better time and place for you to finally stand up for yourself. You needed more self respect at some point in the last 2 decades. I
  • also wouldn't have kept such a volatile jealous person in my corner that closely. She told you who she was and you let yourself be a doormat. Objectively all her actions are bad and damaging and
  • you have done nothing wrong to others, but there was no agency or common sense used when you decided to keep this person as your close friend.
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  • Great_Bookkeep... NTA. But don't hold your breath waiting for the money. I think you're right about how she feels, and Ryan's wedding must've pushed her over the edge. I'm betting she was looking for an excuse to blow up and leave. However, she's not your friend. I wouldn't put any effort into trying to salvage this relationship.
  • Hazy_Hippo You're never going to see that money. But she needed to hear it and now you know not to be friends with her anymore. I'd leave it at that. She will try to contact you and make you the bad guy, seriously just ignore her.
  • gruntbuggly $800 is a pretty reasonable price to get rid of someone that mean and unpleasant to be around.
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  • FacetiousTomato YTA if you think youre seeing a single penny. I don't think this conflict is about what you think it is about.
  • You're never, ever, even in your fantasy universe, seeing any of that money. And honestly, I don't understand from your story why you think you're entitled to it. What you said was correct, but when you blow up your friendship in public, you shouldn't expect that friend to reimburse you, lol.

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