55-year-old stepmom blames 28-year-old stepdaughter getting mistreated by her stepchildren on karma for the way she treated her as a kid: 'Ashley made it clear she hated me.'

Has Ashley considered that she might be the problem?

If you've been on specific online forums for any amount of time, you know that stories about nefarious stepparents are familiar. These tales fall into one of two categories: either the stepparent is overstepping their bounds, or they couldn't care less about the child they are raising. I'd imagine in real life, most stepparents fall somewhere in the middle between the stepmom who tries to replace her stepchildren's mother as the most crucial female relative in their lives, and the stepdad who would rather not have any kids in his life at all. 

Kids have so little autonomy in their family situations, and even in the best stepparent situations, it can be challenging for them to adjust. Adults in their lives should give them some level of choice in how they interact with their stepparent. They should be able to choose whether to call their stepmom by her first name or by a maternal nickname. Their stepmom might not feel ready to be called "mom," but if her stepchildren don't have any other maternal figures in their lives, it might be the right choice for the kids. 

While you need to give kids some grace, you shouldn't let them walk all over their stepparent when they haven't done anything wrong. You shouldn't let them walk all over their stepparent period, but that's beside the point. Kids are going to have big emotions about a new parental figure coming into their lives, no matter what, but they need to learn that that's no excuse to be absurdly cruel to the person your parent is in love with.