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Mom stops carpooling her aunt's kids to school because they're chronically tardy and affecting her career: ‘I had to change my shift’

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  • Mom picking up kids for the carpool.
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  • [I'm] telling my aunt that I would no longer be taking her kids to school in the mornings

    For context my aunt and I are around the same age. I have a son that attends the same school as my cousins.
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  • We had a deal that I would drop them off in the morning (7:30am) and she will pick them up (3:00pm).
  • We have different work schedules so we found this way best. She is also not married or in a relationship.
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  • Two little girls in the backseat of a car.
  • She also has a daughter that goes to a different school which requires me to take her to her bus stop after which is about a 5 minute drive.
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  • My husband works long hours so he is gone early in the morning and comes home around 6:00pm.
  • Everything was fine in the beginning as we had this agreement for over a year already.
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  • Other than her kids are not ready in the morning and after letting her know she just states to leave them there.
  • Little girl looking towards the front of the car on her way to school.
  • For the past few months it has been a little chaotic. Her kids are not ready in the morning and her other daughter's bus pushed their schedule time 10 minutes later causing me to be late to work and eventually I had to change my shift to come in later thus, arriving later home.
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  • Last week, out of nowhere, she stated that she wouldn't be taking her kids to school due to one of them being sick.
  • We have no other family in the area and my 7 year old son is not able to join the bus program due to being so late in the school year.
  • My husband now has changed his schedule so he can drop off our son in the morning and I go to work earlier to be able to pick him up from school.
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  • It works that way now and we don't have to take extra time out of our routine to drop off my nieces and nephews.
  • My husband also stated that we should just do this from now on to avoid any absences or tardiness.
  • She asked us this morning if my husband can start picking up her kids as well in the afternoon.
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  • I told her to let me think about it and when I asked my husband he said we already have a routine that works for both of us and to let her know we will just do it this week but she needs to make arrangements to have someone drop them off and we aren't going to be doing the extra initiative to pick them up as well.
  • She has friends that live in the area that their children go to the same school and we don't know them that well to pass the burden to them to pick up our son.
  • We let her know about our plans and she's upset now. Saying she can't handle everything being on her responsibility and we should be ashamed for making her struggle a little more than she has to.
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  • Are we wrong for our decision?
  • Mom driving other kids for a carpool.
  • ResponsibleLiability You've already changed your work shift for this nonsense! NTJ
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  • Aggressive_Power_471 NTA it takes a village works when the village works together. She is the one that changed up the routine and unfortunately for her that change works better for your family. Stick with what works for you. She can worry about your cousins.
  • InnerrAttorney NTJ. You aren't "making her struggle," her own lack of organization is. She was already disrespectful of your time by not having the kids ready, which forced you to change your work shift. That's a huge sacrifice. Now that you've found a routine that actually works for your nuclear family without the "chaotic" stress, she's mad because she lost her free chauffeur.
  • ToggleMoreOptions NTA but I'm trying to understand why you seem to be resentful that her kids got sick "out of nowhere"
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  • OP TheWizardry90 I wouldn't say resentful. There have been instances where my son didn't go to school but I still took hers. And when she stated her kids weren't going she said she wouldn't be able to pick up my son
  • rpfields 1 NTJ your aunt is acting very entitled. You need to do what works for your family just like she did when she told you she wouldn't be taking her kids to school (without considering what that did to your arrangements). She didn't mind making YOU struggle more than you had to. Stick to your guns and take care of yourself; if you adjust to accommodate her you will only end up doing it again and again, and training her that this is something she can expect.
  • Formal-Branch7128 rearranging your whole job for her kids?? you already did too much
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  • Curious_Creme_395 NTJ at all. This stopped being a fair split a while ago and turned into you absorbing all the stress and delays. You're not her backup plan, you're already doing more than your share
  • Square-Swan2800 Why can't she change her schedule? She expects you to change yours. Your new schedule works for you because you are not late to work. It's time she figures things out.
  • Color-Me-Creative3 NTJ at all. Her kids, her responsibility. She better build herself a support group asap. Her convenience should not be your inconvenient problem.

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