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Neighbor parents tell their 7-year-old to sneak into the pool next door, but the homeowner refuses to allow him to swim without supervision: ‘I became an unpaid lifeguard and babysitter'

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    Boy swims in a pool all alone.
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    [I told] my neighbor her kid isn't allowed in my pool after she "forgot" him at my house

    Im (37F) honestly still shaking a bit while writing this because i hate confrontation, but i feel like im being treated like a villain in my own neighborhood.
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  • 03
    My husband and i bought our house about 2years ago. One of the main reasons we chose it was the backyard and the pool.
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    We have two kids (a son and a daughter), and they practically live in that water during the summer.
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  • 05
    A few months ago, a new couple moved in next door with their 7year old boy.
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    At first, things were fine. We did the whole "welcome to the neighborhood" thing, and our kids played together a few times.
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  • 07
    The problem started about 3weeks ago. The parents started sending their son over to play, but neither of them would come with him.
  • 08
    Boy having fun swimming in the neighbor's pool.
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  • 09
    They'd just watch him walk across the lawn from their porch and then go back inside.
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    Basically, i became an unpaid lifeguard and babysitter for a kid that is not mine. The breaking point happened last saturday.
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    I told the mom earlier that morning that we were busy and could not have company.
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  • 12
    Around 2pm, i looked out my kitchen window and saw her son inside my gated pool area.
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    He had climbed over the fence. I ran out there and got him out safely, then walked him back home.
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    Both parents were in their garage hanging out. When i told them what happened, they did not even look scared.
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  • 15
    The dad just laughed and said, Oh, he's such a little fish! He just loves your pool so much, we did not have the heart to tell him no.
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    Then the mom chimed in with, It takes a village, right? I told them right then that he is not allowed in my pool area without me being there and one of them being there to watch him too.
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    I told them its a huge safety risk and im not comfortable with the liability. They both got really offended and called me heartless.
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  • 18
    They said that since im already out there with my kids, it should not matter if one more joins in.
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    The mom even posted on our local facebook group (without naming me, but everyone knows) about wealthy neighbors who think they own the water and how some people have no sense of community.
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    Now, they are not speaking to me, and some of the other neighbors are giving me weird looks.
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  • 21
    I feel like im just trying to keep a kid from drowning and protect myself from a lawsuit, but people are making me feel like im being a mean girl because i wont let a 7year old swim whenever he wants.
  • 22
    Am I the j here? TL;DR: My married neighbors keep letting their 7year old son sneak into my pool without asking.
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    When I told them he's banned for safety and liability reasons, they called me heartless and complained to the neighborhood.
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  • 24
    Any Vehicle7847 "It takes a village" only works when the village actually agrees to help. You did not sign up to be a free lifeguard. The fact that they laughed after he climbed a fence is terrifying. They should be thanking u for saving their son, not trashing you on Facebook. NTJ!
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    OP Educational-Wait-406 This!! I hate how that "takes a village" line is used as an excuse for lazy parenting. Im happy to help my neighbors, but I did not agree to be a 24/7 unpaid lifeguard. If something happens, its my life thats ruined, not theirs.
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    Educational-Joke-267 NTJ. If that kid gets hurt or, heaven forbid, drowns in your pool, those same parents will be the first ones to sue u for everything u own. They are not being neighborly, they are being lazy and dangerous. Keep that gate locked and maybe get a camera just in case.
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  • 27
    OP Educational-Wait-406 This is exactly what keeps me up at night. I cant believe they are more worried about being excluded than their own sons life. I dont want to lose everything we worked for because they wont watch their kid.
  • 28
    Any_Strawberry8691 Not the j ! He climbed over a fence? Thats not playing, thats trespassing and a massive safety risk. Dont let them guilt trip u. Your pool, your rules, your liability.
  • 29
    OP Educational-Wait-406 My heart literally dropped when i saw him over the fence. If I had not looked out the window at that exact moment... I dont even want to think about what could have happened. Thanks for the support, I really needed to hear this.
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  • 30
    Katja 1236 NTA. You think you own your own pool? How entitled of you. eyeroll It's a safety matter. Kids that young shouldn't be swimming without a parent present, or another adult who has agreed to supervise in advance. You have not.
  • 31
    OP Educational-Wait-406 This!! Exactly what i was thinking. I was so scared when i saw him in there alone. I cant believe they are not more worried about their own kids safety. Its honestly terrifying.
  • 32
    LoopyMercutio NTJ- Since the neighbor decided to make it public, make the entire issue public-State that they were sending their kid over without any adult supervision at all, that the parents were sitting in their garage not watching their child, that they expect you to be an unpaid babysitter and lifeguard to their children, and that they've acted completely irresponsibly in regards to their child's welfare and safety. And on top of that, their continued trespassing is now forcing you to add l
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  • 33
    OP Educational-Wait-406 You are 100% right. The lawsuit part is what really scares me. If something happened to that kid, they would definitely blame me. Im actually going to get new locks this weekend. Thank u for the advice, I might just have to reply to them publicly with exactly what you said!
  • 34
    guitargeek76 If the pool is in YOUR backyard, then yes, you own the water. NTJ, your neighbors are entitled AH's.
  • 35
    OP Educational-Wait-406 Exactly! That "own the water" comment they made on facebook really got to me. Its not about the water, its about not wanting to find a kid at the bottom of my pool because his parents were too busy in the garage.
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  • 36
    EnvironmentalLuck515 I think you are imagining the neighbors giving you weird looks. No responsible adult would have a problem with this and most would be incensed on your behalf. This isn't a decision you need to second guess in any way. If the child drowns on your property you will be held liable. I'd be sending them a certified letter outlining what happened, what you did and how you responded. Because if he really did climb the fence this IS going to happen again and you want documentation t
  • 37
    OP Educational-Wait-406 This is solid advice. I did not even think about a certified letter, but having that paper trail sounds like a smart move now. Im definitely not second guessing my decision anymore. Thank u!
  • 38
    duskalyth their kid climbed in your fence into a pool and they just.. laughed?? that's not "village", that's bad parenting
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  • 39
    OP Educational-Wait-406 Thank u! Thats exactly what I thought. A pool is not a toy, its dangerous. Im just so glad the kid did not drown.
  • 40
    traciw67 Ntj. You need a gate with a lock or some other deterrent. (Spikes?) They are the type of people to sue you when their kid is hurt. I would put up cameras, also. And if they keep ignoring their kid, call CPS. "There's a 7 yr old wandering around my property with no parental supervision!"
  • 41
    OP Educational-Wait-406 Thanks for the advice. Im actually looking at cameras today because i dont trust them at all now. Its scary that i even have to think about being sued just because they cant watch their own kid. I really hope it does not come to calling CPS, but if he climbs that fence again, I might not have a choice.
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  • 42
    ellexarayne NTJ. You aren't being a 'mean girl,' you're avoiding a lawsuit. A pool is an attractive nuisance. If that kid drowns on your property because his parents are lazy to supervise him, you're the one who loses your house and faces the legal consequences.
  • 43
    OP Educational-Wait-406 You are so right. "Attractive nuisance" is the perfect way to put it. I checked my insurance and its a nightmare if anything happens. Its just wild to me that they'd risk their kids safety and then try to make me the villain on facebook.

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