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    36-year-old software engineer turns down $15k pay bump to continue coding, manager thinks they've lost their mind

    Would you turn down a pay raise if it meant sacrificing your passion? Sometimes an advancement in your job means that you're going to miss out on something important. More money does not necessarily mean more happiness, and the minute you learn that, the better off you are. But in this world, we're constantly inundated with information about getting ahead, hustling, and making as much money as we possibly can. It seems like the answer to all of your problems, until you get it, and then realize that there's much more to it than that. 

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    • 01
      A man in a black shirt looks down, moody
      via ThisisEngineering

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • 02

      I turned down a promotion and my manager thinks I've lost my mind. Was I wrong?

      I (36M) am a senior software engineer at a mid size healthcare company. Been here about 4 years. Last week my manager Tom offered me the engineering manager role for our platform team. Six direct reports, decent pay bump (roughly $15k), and a title I'd been told I was being groomed for since my second year here.
      via croberts2323
    • 03
      I said no. Tom looked at me like I'd told him I was joining the circus. My reasoning was simple. I watched the previous engineering manager Laura do that job for two years. Her calendar was wall to wall 1:1s, sprint planning, stakeholder updates, and hiring panels. She wrote maybe 10 lines of code in her last 6 months. She told me privately before she left that she missed engineering every single
      via croberts2323
    • 04
      day but felt trapped because stepping back would look like failure. I don't want that. The parts of my job that make me want to show up are solving hard technical problems, designing systems, mentoring juniors by actually pairing with them on real code. None of that survives the transition to manager at this company. I've watched it happen three times now.
      via croberts2323
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    • 05
      Tom's argument was that this is the next logical step and that I'm leaving growth on the table. When I told him I'd rather grow as an engineer he said "there's a ceiling to that here and you'll hit it soon." Which I think was meant to convince me but it mostly just confirmed that this company only values one direction of growth.
      via croberts2323
    • 06
      My wife thinks I made the right call. My dad thinks I'm an idiot. Two of my teammates said they'd have taken it without thinking. I don't regret the decision. But Tom's comment about the ceiling has me wondering if I need to start looking for somewhere that actually has a senior IC track that goes somewhere meaningful. Or whether I'm being naive about what career progression looks like after a certain point.
      via croberts2323
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    • 07
      Has anyone else turned down the management track and not regretted it?
      via croberts2323
    • 08

      Commenters gave their takes on the story.

      alloutofchewingum Some companies just do not value senior individual contributors who don't want to move to management. You may agree or disagree but it's the reality and not uncommon.
      via alloutofchewingum
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    • 09
      A man works on a laptop in a modern office space
      via Vitaly Gariev

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • We're often told to accept any promotion that comes our way because any promotion must be a good promotion. No matter what it might mean for your actual well-being and interests. Not everyone wants more responsibility, and not everyone has a price. But this can be hard to justify to people who don't get it. Everyone is allowed to have their own career and make their own decisions. You don't have to listen to what anyone is telling you. You can make decisions that don't make sense to anyone but you. You can quit your high-paying job to become a kayak instructor, and nobody can tell you that you're wrong. If you don't have people depending on you and your income, you're allowed to throw it all away if you so choose. Because life is about much more than a paycheck. And living in pursuit of an ever-higher one is no way to live. 

      That's the situation this worker found himself in when offered a promotion at his job. The way most people saw it was a way for him to advance his career and make more money. The way he saw it, he didn't want his day-to-day to change so radically. He would much rather continue what he was doing instead of foregoing what he liked about his job in the name of a bigger salary. But he was having a hard time convincing everyone else that he was doing the right thing. Keep reading for all the details of this workplace story and find out what commenters had to say about this decision.

    • 10
      No_Owl_2844 You made the smart call here. I've been in management for a while now and yeah, the coding basically disappears unless you're at a place that really gets the IC track Tom's comment about hitting a - ceiling is telling though he's basically admitting your company doesn't value senior engineers. That's a red flag, not a reason to take a job you don't want. Plenty of places have distinguished engineer paths or senior staff roles where you can keep growing technically without becoming a
      via No_Owl_2844
    • 11
      Jsaun906 A $15k pay bump for waaaaay more stress is not worth it imo. Maybe if it payed $50k+ more it'd be worth it because then it would be a much more life-changing increase.
      via Jsaun906
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    • 12
      love_that_fishing I made a similar call. I was the 2nd person at a > 300,000 person he/sw company (at the time))make it to level 10 in tech sales. It was a big deal but a few years later they wanted to put me on a path to Distinguish Engineer which at the time they'd never had a pre-sales engineer make that level. Trouble was every promotion came with a cost and I was already giving more than I wanted. I had 4 kids between 15 and 5 and my wife needed more of me, not less. So I committed career s
      via love_that_fishing
    • 13
      azuth89 Good developers often make poor managers and good managers would often be very poor developers. When I say poor, I mean both the performance and the happiness. -- a product guy struggling with the great dev/sh manager issue right now.
      via azuth89
    • 14
      leathakkor I'm in management. Similar setup to you. But I took the job simply because at the time there were no other good candidates and I did not want to be stuck working for a boss who I didn't like. And there were a lot of instabilities in the job market in Seattle at the time. And I didn't particularly want to go look for a new job either. I made it about 3 years into the management position and I don't want to do it anymore and so I'm leaving the company. The pay bump is exceptionally good
      via leathakkor
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    • 15
      JustEstablishment360 $15k is not that much of a pay bump for an entirely different set of responsibilities that you may not want. In IT a lot of ICs also make equal or more to the people who manage them...
      via JustEstablishment360
    • 16
      IceCream Valley Many companies have an equal career path for IC. Managers dont make more salary then IC, its just a different role, thats all. Find this kind of place.
      via IceCreamValley
    • 17
      I_love_my_dog_more $15k is not worth it. I was promoted once, then had to ask to be demoted. It can ruin a good thing.. If and when you are ready, you can negotiate, say you are willing to do it fir $30k extra, which might be what they need to pay if they hire external anyways.
      via I_love_my_dog_more

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