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    21-year-old reserves king size bed on 9 person vacation, refuses to switch to queen size for two friends who are sharing: 'They called me a "mattress size queen"'

    Generosity can come at the price of our comfort.

    People like to say that it is nice to be nice, but that isn't always the full truth. Sometimes, we pay for our niceness by inconveniencing ourselves. While it is true that the glow of a good deed has the potential to outshine any difficulty we might put ourselves through, not everybody is going to feel that way. It is possible to put yourself out and not feel like it was the right thing to do.

    Having a backbone is an important skill in all types of relationships. There are all too many people who will happily take advantage of those who have not developed it. However, there are times when it is more appropriate to give in to the requests of others. It might be the best option to keep the peace, or it just makes more logistical sense. Just as important as advocating for yourself is understanding how to do it in a way that is tactful. Without this, disagreements can arise that make life more difficult in the long run. It can ruin a time when you just want to relax and enjoy yourself with no disturbances. 

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    • A young man reads a book while sitting in bed, next to a large window with a view of a forest
      via Eileen Martin

      A man reads a book while sitting in bed, next to a large window with a view of a forest

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • When one man went on a mountain vacation for a friend's birthday, he was set on taking one of the king beds in the cabin that he and eight others had reserved for the occasion. He had paid extra for the privilege.

      As a couple of people had dropped out of the holiday, a couple of his friends, who were sharing a smaller bed, asked if they could swap rooms with him. They said that they would pay the difference.

      However, the man stuck to what he wanted and refused to give up the bed. He was ridiculed for this, and he wondered if he had been in the wrong.

    • Am I wrong for refusing to give up a king size bed on a group trip?

      1 21m went on a group trip with my friends (ages 20 to 24). We got a cabin up in the mountains for my friend's birthday.
      via Ok-Prune-4111
    • There were 11 of us signed up initially but I was one of the first to sign up and was excited to have a king size bed and room of my own.
      via Ok-Prune-4111
    • I paid extra for this bed and only the birthday girl had a similar set-up. When we got there, however, two of the people had dropped out, and so I could have switched to have a queen size bed (and still my own room).
      via Ok-Prune-4111
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    • The people (22m, 23m) who were splitting the queen size bed, at that point, were up on me about it, saying that it's just ridiculous because their comfort would be a lot worse, and what did I even gain by having a king size bed all to my self?
      via Ok-Prune-4111
    • They said they understood that it's the birthday girl's right but it was just ridiculous that I also needed a king size bed.
      via Ok-Prune-4111
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    • I just thought it seemed nice and I sleep in a small bed at home and I was excited to try it.
      via Ok-Prune-4111
    • I guess I had probably slept in one before but just never really thought about it and it was probably on a family trip so I was sharing it.
      via Ok-Prune-4111
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    • They said I was being a clown and not being friendly and I said they're just mad bc they signed up late.
      via Ok-Prune-4111
    • It was first come, first serve and I paid for it! They called me a "mattress size queen" and a "california " all weekend which I laughed at but at the end of the weekend another friend was like, "That actually was crazy you did that." So now I am wondering, did I really ydo something wrong?
      via Ok-Prune-4111
    • A young man turns the page of a book he is reading while sitting in bed, next to a large window with a view of a forest
      via Eileen Martin

      A man turns the page of a book he is reading while sitting in bed, next to a large window with a view of a forest

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • Stock-Cell1556 You had a right to the bed you "reserved" and paid for, but how you treat your friends isn't about what you have a "right" too. You make sacrifices for your friends. This wasn't even much if a sacrifice. If you sleep in a small bed, a queen would've felt huge, and you still would've had your own room, and your friends offered to refund you the extra money you paid. You would have given up very little and made your friends' sleeping experience much more comfortable. You're not in t
      via Stock-Cell1556
    • badgirlalgae Soft YTA. I think they were being reasonable in offering to pay the difference. In a utilitarian sense, it does not add up for one person to be alone in a king sized bed while 2 people, who don't seem to be a couple, share a smaller bed. The difference for you to sleep in a queen vs a king would be negligible, and you would have been the hero to make the switch. You didn't technically do anything wrong in keeping the bed you paid for, but it would have gone a long way towards being
      via badgirlalgae
    • Spectro_Boy YTA Sleeping solo on a queen bed would still have given you that "sleeping in a large bed: feeling. But two people on a queen can be a little tight and 2 on a king is a huge improvement. So for a little bit more room that you can't possibly use you made them. suffer. They even offered to pay the difference. You kinda s k, actually. They probably shouldn't consider you a real friend.
      via Spectro_Boy
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    • EndRevolutionary 1020 Slightly, it was just petty and they offered to pay, but calling you names all weekend was also weird. Did they ask nicely at first? ESH.
      via EndRevolutionary1020
    • KimiiKhaoss Idk. Everyone kinda s ks here. Like is this really the hill you wanted to di on with your friends? You're NTA for refusing. But I'd be questioning your kindness moving forward as a friend.
      via KimiiKhaoss
    • hellophun ESH You weren't obligated to trade, but man you really don't care about other people's comfort other than your own. They offered to pay the difference not just get it for free. Again, you're not obligated but you definitely give off AH vibes in this situation. They are also AH because once you said no, the continual ribbing gets old. What did they think they can shame you into changing your mind? You've already shown how selfish you are and they just made themselves folks who can't jus
      via hellophun
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    • agk2012 Sure you guys are friends?
      via agk2012
    • its_a_gibibyte Whoever assigned beds or had this sign-up method is TA. I've never had a shared group trip where someone can just call dibs on whatever they want. Usually we figure out who's coming and then divide up the rooms appropriately. If I was organizing that trip, I would put 2 people in the bigger bed and 1 person in the smaller bed.
      via its_a_gibibyte
    • Strong-Log5969 You say these people are your friends. Why wouldn't you want to help them out? Huge difference for them and small difference for you if you were to switch.
      via Strong-Log5969
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    • Rare-Progress5009 NAH. You signed up early and got the bed that you wanted and paid extra for it. They did offer to pay the difference (which isn't how this usually goes down). It would have been really nice for you to swap, which doesn't make you an AH for not doing it.
      via Rare-Progress5009

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