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    16-year-old refuses to share her bed with her 18-year-old cousin, who her mom favors over her: 'Whenever my cousin is over, my mother basically forgets about me.'

    Author image for Emmy Pratt
    Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
    Feb 28, 2026 8:00 AM EST

    She shouldn't have to share her bed with someone who is mean to her. 

    What do you do when you have a guest stay at your house overnight when you don't have a guest room? Do you let them sleep in your bed, or do you make them sleep on the couch? I've done both: I've been the self-sacrificial diva who lets my friends from out-of-town sleep in my bed while I snooze on the couch. More recently, I've been doing the opposite. I'm not sleeping in my own bed because I'm selfish, but because that's what overnight guests seem to expect. Most people who are crashing at a friend's place for free do not expect you to give up your bed for them. Of course, this is a totally different story if an elderly relative is staying over. Obviously, in that scenario, you would give up your bed to them. But if someone is young and able-bodied, there's no reason you should feel pressured to give up your bed to them. 

    You don't want to share a bed with someone you don't like or don't trust. It's common for families to make kids double up in queen-sized beds on vacations, even if their kids bicker about the arrangement. In a perfect world, nobody should feel pressured into sharing their bed with anyone they're uncomfortable with. If your kid would rather sleep on the floor than sleep in the same bed with their cousin, something is wrong there.

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    • Close-up of female couple in love sleeping close to each other on a bed
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • The teen in this story is uncomfortable with her cousin. She's so uncomfortable that she's threatening to move in with her grandparents if her mother allows it to happen. Why? Because she's mean to her!

    • Would I be the bad guy if I told my mom that if I have to give up my bedroom, I'm moving in with my grandparents until college?

      I, 16, F, have little to no relationship with my mom, 38, F, even though she is my "full time" parent.
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • This weekend my cousin, 18, F, is coming over for the weekend. I have 0 relationship with my cousin, due to my moms pure favoritism of my cousin.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • (if you want more information please go look at my first ever reddit post). Whenever my cousin is over, my mother basically forgets about me, I'm invisible around her.
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • For example, I left the house for 2 hours ish, just shopping, walking around walmart. She didnt even notice I was gone, for 2 HOURS.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Woman shops for groceries in a brightly lit supermarket
      via Ramsés Cervantes (Unsplash+)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • I texted her where I was so of course, she knows where Im at. She didnt even check her phone once in 2 hours.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • My cousin is also not the nicest. She has made several comments about my weight, how I look, genuinely just a very not nice person.
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • Especially to me. Onto the reason I will be threatening to move out, I was asked by my mom if I would be willing to let my cousin sleep in my bed with me.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • I told her no, because one, i sleep scream, two, i prefer my person space and my bed is not big, three, why should I share my space with someone who treats me like I dont exist.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • She also doesn't care who she disrespects me infront of because she knows my mom likes her better then me and doesnt care if shes rude.
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • My mom also constantly crosses my boundaries for my cousin, it doesnt matter if i tell her I'm uncomfortable if my cousin wants something my mother makes it happen.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Woman in black tank top beside woman in white tank top
      via ☀️Shine_ Photos

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • I would probably be the AH for threatening to move out, but she constantly ignores my boundaries and me.
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • destro23 >I was asked by my mom if I would be willing to let my cousin sleep in my bed with me What in the evershitting shit is this ask? Why would either of you want this? NTA Move out. That is bananas. -
      via u/destro23
    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply My cousin actually asked :D
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • allonestring Why can't your mum share her bed with your tormenter cousin?
      via u/allonestring
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    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply hahah that's funny, she has a husband
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Top_Butterscotch8394 Your cousin asked because she expected your mom to make you sleep on the couch. NTA
      via u/Top_Butterscotch8394
    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply no, i mean my cousin asked to share my bed with me
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • Unlikely-Ad5982 Does her husband ever say anything to your mum? Does he ever defend you?
      via u/Unlikely-Ad5982
    • 1: solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply my stepdad hates my cousin to but hes like a lapdog for my mom.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Gennevieve1 NTA. But from you described it won't get any better any time soon. So don't threaten her with moving out. If you can, do it and don't look back. You'll be better off with your grandparents. But you're 16 so it might not be possible.
      via u/Gennevieve1
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    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply Ive already looked at getting emancipated
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Educational-Math-302 NTA. Also just read your OOP and my question is, why is your cousin such a loser, spending three hours a day on the phone with her a hole aunt? is that about? In addition to her being a total a hole towards you of course.
      via u/Educational-Math-302
    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply I think its because she knows my mom loves her more.
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • AvBanoth Papa Bear here. A parent's first duty is to her children; she's derelict in her duty. Be a cobra, not a rattlesnake. Don't threaten, don't warn, just ask your grandparents to take you in and move out. NTA
      via u/AvBanoth
    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply what does derelict mean? also, thank you
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Chance-Context-93 Before you make the threat, I think you better check in with your grandparents and see if they are actually ok with this, and decide if you really want to. Making a threat that you can't follow through on or don't really want to follow through on, just makes you look weak and immature.
      via u/Chance-Context-93
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    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply I can. i said in another comment that they are perfectly okay with me moving in.
      via u/solar-pariahV
    • Jealous_Evidence_503 NTA and with a mother like that I wonder why you have night terrors
      via u/Jealous_Evidence_503
    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply haha my biodad..
      via u/solar-pariahV
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    • Southern_Common335 Plot twist- the cousin is actually OPs moms affair baby bring raised by relatives.
      via u/Southern_Common335
    • solar-pariahV Original Poster's Reply that is wild. but sadly, that isnt possible. she looks just like my aunt, who is my bl d related uncles ex wife
      via u/solar-pariahV

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    Tags

    bed sharing teenagers bad parenting favoritism family grandparents mom cousin moving out
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