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Friend Cara runs a "loyalty test" on her friend's boyfriend after she was told not to, and calls her friend insecure when she gets called out

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  • Portrait of a young woman with long brown hair wearing a white blouse, softly lit by warm natural light as she looks back over her shoulder near sheer curtains.
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  • AITJ for telling my friend she can’t “test” her boyfriend by flirting with mine?

    My friend "Cara" believes in "loyalty tests." she says if a man is truly faithful, he'll shut down any flirtation immediately.
  • recently she told me she wanted to test her new boyfriend by having me dm him something suggestive.
  • i said absolutely not. then she suggested the reverse that she flirt with my boyfriend to prove he's loyal.
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  • i shut that down too. she got annoyed and said i must secretly think my boyfriend would fail, otherwise why not prove it?
  • i told her healthy relationships don't involve mind games. she ended up messaging him anyway from a fake account.
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  • Close-up portrait of a smiling young woman with long brown hair lying down, wearing a white shirt and looking up toward the camera in warm natural light.
  • he showed me immediately. i confronted her and she said i'm overreacting because "it was hypothetical." i told her if she doesn't respect boundaries, i'm reconsidering the friendship.
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  • now she's telling people i'm insecure. AITJ for drawing that line? tl;dr: friend wanted to run a "loyalty test" by flirting with my boyfriend.
  • i refused and got upset when she did it anyway, she says i'm dramatic.
  • hushpetal_ the fact that she did it anyway after u said no wth that's the real red flag
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  • StockPut7654 Original Poster's Reply Thanks for pointing that out, exactly how i feel.
  • Strong-Holiday4259 ur boyfriend passed without even being tested and your friend failed spectacularly if anyone's insecure it's the person who needs to manufacture drama to feel secure.
  • StockPut7654 Original Poster's Reply Honestly so proud of him, he didn't even have to be tested and still showed he's solid while my friend went full chaos mode.
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  • misty-quill she's not testing him she's testing u and she failed
  • noirazy_33 yeah anyone who thinks mind games are friendship material is toxic af
  • Available-Peanut3294 Friendship shouldnt come with a loyalty test and a side of gaslighting
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  • babydtheone NTJ. What she did is very crazy and boundary crossing. She is not a true friend because a true friend would never do that after you asked them not too.
  • Successful-Prize-850 Testing loyalty by flirting? That's toxic, not clever.
  • Background_Edge_9427 "Friend"? With friends like that, you don't need enemies. I think I would put some distance between yourself and this "friend".
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  • GoldenAngeli She is literally doing this out of insecurity that her boyfriend might not be loyal. You don't want this because you don't have any insecurity, plus it's just a wildly immature thing to do. If my partner would come up with this idea and test me, I'd get mad and would feel pretty hurt. A healthy relationship requires open communication, not testing partners through a fake account. Your friend needs therapy and I would cut ties with her if she doesn't seem to improve her mindset.
  • iwannasayyoucantmake No ages given, but what is she 15? So very immature and insecure to test relationships with infidelity temptation. Get off TikTok, grow up, learn to respect others or not I don't care but quit messing around with others.

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