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Dad shows up to 22-year-old's retail shift, demands manager move him from closing shifts: 'He knows how tiring night shifts can be'

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  • a colorful selection of protective helmets displayed in a retail store
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  • My dad showed up to my job and tried to tell my manager how to schedule me

    I'm 22 and I've been working at the same outdoor sports store for almost two years now.
  • I genuinely love my job, my coworkers are great and my manager gives me a lot of flexibility because I've proven I'm reliable.
  • Last Friday I was in the middle of helping a customer when one of my coworkers came up to me looking kind of uncomfortable and said "hey there's a guy at the front asking for the manager and he says he's your dad." My stomach immediately dropped.
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  • I walked over and sure enough my dad was standing there at the entrance in his jacket, completely calm like he had every right to be there, and my manager was already next to him looking confused.
  • Apparently my dad had decided on his own that my current Thursday and Friday closing shifts were "too late for someone my age" and he came in to personally suggest that I get moved to earlier shifts.
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  • He's 56 years old. I am 22. He had an actual conversation going with my manager about my schedule before I even got there.
  • My manager is a pretty easygoing guy but even he looked like he didn't totally know what to do with the situaton.
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  • I pulled my dad aside and quietly told him that this was incredibly embarasing and that he needed to leave.
  • He looked genuinely surprised and said he was "just looking out for me" and that he "knows how tiring night shifts can be." He wasn't rude to anyone, which I think is why he thought the whole thing was fine.
  • But my manager pulled me aside after and asked, not in a mean way, if everything was okay at home and whether my dad "does this often." I wanted to disappear into the floor.
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  • I called my dad that evening and explained very clearly that my workplace is not a place he can show up to and have converstions about my life on my behalf.
  • He said I was overreacting and that he didn't see the big deal since "nothing bad happened." I love my dad and I know he means well but the complete inability to see why this was a problem is what gets me every time.
  • My manager was cool about it thankfully but I was anxious for the entire rest of my shift.
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  • a man looks at bike helmets in a store
  • FairyGothMommy Unacceptable. Tell your dad you are a fully grown adult and capable of managing your work schedule. Period. Let your boss know not to discuss your work with anyone as you're an adult.
  • Hades Tartarus9 Original Poster's Reply Yeah, I told him straight up I'm 22, not 12. My manager knows not to discuss my scheduele with anyone but me now. If dad tries it again, he's getting told to leave, idc.
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  • Sandwormmm The "nothing bad happened" part is the tell. Something bad did happen: he put your manager in a weird spot and made you look like you can't manage your own life. Boundaries aren't rude, they're necessary.
  • Petite01Nbusty it sounds like he is trying to control u even at ur job. u should definitely talk to security or ur manager just in case. hang in there because that is a lot to deal with
  • harborlucent He thinks "I was polite" equals "I was appropriate." It doesn't. Showing up at your workplace to negotiate your schedule is a control move, even if it's wrapped in забота. Your manager asking if things are ok at home is a big hint how it reads from the outside. I'd set one clear rule: he does not contact your workplace, ever. If he's worried, he talks to you after hours. And if he tries it again, you don't argue, you remove him from the situation and leave the conversation. That's t
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  • NationalPreparation9 Is you dad working? Tell him you're worried about his hours at his age and you'll go and talk to his boss about it. Maybe he'll understand then. If he's not working you could offer to go talk to his bank manager for him.
  • miamimely You need to flip it back on him "Dad, that was extremely inappropriate, I am an adult with responsibilities and a job, you cannot try to tell my boss what hours I should be working. How would it look if I came to your place of work and told your boss I didn't approve of the hours they have you working and that they need to change them because that's hard on someone your age? It's extrememly unprofessional and you could have cost me my job. You embarrassed me. Please respect that I am n
  • Trin959 This. Especially about boundaries. People who don't respect your boundaries don't respect you. OP, I hope your dad can learn that.

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