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    Dad shows up to 22-year-old's retail shift, demands manager move him from closing shifts: 'He knows how tiring night shifts can be'

    Work and family are rarely a good mix.

    As soon as things get personal in the workplace, there is endless potential for things to go wrong. It can be hard to stay professional when relatives get involved, whether they happen to be coworkers or they manage to get entangled with work affairs for some other reason. As much as is possible, it is better for many employees to work jobs that are not a family affair.

    That being said, there are times when bringing relatives into the mix is something that is unavoidable. For example, employees who are also parents may wind up having to make crucial decisions about their kids which involve making sacrifices at their job. 

    Things get a bit weirder when the roles are reversed, and adult children face their parents meddling in their work affairs. Once you are grown up and independent enough to work, you should be able to deal with any workplace issues without mom or dad feeling the need to step in. If they do, it could reflect badly on you as an employee, as well as be embarrassing for everyone involved. There just aren't many situations where such a thing would be necessary.

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    Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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    • a colorful selection of protective helmets displayed in a retail store
      via Markus Winkler

      A colorful selection of protective helmets displayed in a retail store

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    • A retail employee at an outdoor sports store was left feeling humiliated when his father stopped by at work one day. He had enjoyed his job for almost two years and was especially grateful for the fact that his shifts were flexible, as he had proven himself to be a trustworthy worker.

      Things changed one day when a coworker informed him that his dad was on the shop floor as he was helping a customer. He realized that he was speaking to his manager, and it transpired that he was trying to convince him that the closing shifts that he worked on Thursdays and Fridays were too late for him.

      The dad hadn't discussed this with his son beforehand, and his supervisor was worried that something difficult was happening at home. Despite the employee explaining that he did not appreciate this gesture, his father didn't think he had done anything wrong.

    • My dad showed up to my job and tried to tell my manager how to schedule me

      I'm 22 and I've been working at the same outdoor sports store for almost two years now.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • I genuinely love my job, my coworkers are great and my manager gives me a lot of flexibility because I've proven I'm reliable.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • Last Friday I was in the middle of helping a customer when one of my coworkers came up to me looking kind of uncomfortable and said "hey there's a guy at the front asking for the manager and he says he's your dad." My stomach immediately dropped.
      via HadesTartarus9
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    • I walked over and sure enough my dad was standing there at the entrance in his jacket, completely calm like he had every right to be there, and my manager was already next to him looking confused.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • Apparently my dad had decided on his own that my current Thursday and Friday closing shifts were "too late for someone my age" and he came in to personally suggest that I get moved to earlier shifts.
      via HadesTartarus9
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    • He's 56 years old. I am 22. He had an actual conversation going with my manager about my schedule before I even got there.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • My manager is a pretty easygoing guy but even he looked like he didn't totally know what to do with the situaton.
      via HadesTartarus9
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    • I pulled my dad aside and quietly told him that this was incredibly embarasing and that he needed to leave.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • He looked genuinely surprised and said he was "just looking out for me" and that he "knows how tiring night shifts can be." He wasn't rude to anyone, which I think is why he thought the whole thing was fine.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • But my manager pulled me aside after and asked, not in a mean way, if everything was okay at home and whether my dad "does this often." I wanted to disappear into the floor.
      via HadesTartarus9
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    • I called my dad that evening and explained very clearly that my workplace is not a place he can show up to and have converstions about my life on my behalf.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • He said I was overreacting and that he didn't see the big deal since "nothing bad happened." I love my dad and I know he means well but the complete inability to see why this was a problem is what gets me every time.
      via HadesTartarus9
    • My manager was cool about it thankfully but I was anxious for the entire rest of my shift.
      via HadesTartarus9
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    • a man looks at bike helmets in a store
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      A man looks at bike helmets in a store

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

       

    • FairyGothMommy Unacceptable. Tell your dad you are a fully grown adult and capable of managing your work schedule. Period. Let your boss know not to discuss your work with anyone as you're an adult.
      via FairyGothMommy
    • Hades Tartarus9 Original Poster's Reply Yeah, I told him straight up I'm 22, not 12. My manager knows not to discuss my scheduele with anyone but me now. If dad tries it again, he's getting told to leave, idc.
      via HadesTartarus9
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    • Sandwormmm The "nothing bad happened" part is the tell. Something bad did happen: he put your manager in a weird spot and made you look like you can't manage your own life. Boundaries aren't rude, they're necessary.
      via Sandwormmm
    • Petite01Nbusty it sounds like he is trying to control u even at ur job. u should definitely talk to security or ur manager just in case. hang in there because that is a lot to deal with
      via Petite01Nbusty
    • harborlucent He thinks "I was polite" equals "I was appropriate." It doesn't. Showing up at your workplace to negotiate your schedule is a control move, even if it's wrapped in забота. Your manager asking if things are ok at home is a big hint how it reads from the outside. I'd set one clear rule: he does not contact your workplace, ever. If he's worried, he talks to you after hours. And if he tries it again, you don't argue, you remove him from the situation and leave the conversation. That's t
      via harborlucent_
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    • NationalPreparation9 Is you dad working? Tell him you're worried about his hours at his age and you'll go and talk to his boss about it. Maybe he'll understand then. If he's not working you could offer to go talk to his bank manager for him.
      via NationalPreparation9
    • miamimely You need to flip it back on him "Dad, that was extremely inappropriate, I am an adult with responsibilities and a job, you cannot try to tell my boss what hours I should be working. How would it look if I came to your place of work and told your boss I didn't approve of the hours they have you working and that they need to change them because that's hard on someone your age? It's extrememly unprofessional and you could have cost me my job. You embarrassed me. Please respect that I am n
      via miamimely
    • Trin959 This. Especially about boundaries. People who don't respect your boundaries don't respect you. OP, I hope your dad can learn that.
      via Trin959

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