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Husband defends wife’s rights and privacy after his mom pressures them and insults her while living with them: 'The issue is my mom desperately wants a grandchild'

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  • Happy couple embracing on a modern rooftop terrace with scenic countryside view in the background, smiling and standing close together at sunset.
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  • AITAH for choosing my wife over my mom?

    I (32M) have been married to my wife (33F) for 5 years.. I lost my dad when I was 16..
  • I'm an only child. Life was rough after he passed but my mom is one of the strongest women I know.
  • I was shattered and she held everything together.. I love her more than anything I met my wife in first year of college..
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  • we've basically grown up together. she's my world.. right now, the three of us live together in our apartment..
  • my mom is getting older and needs care and I feel lucky that I have the two most important women in my life under one roof Both my wife and I have good careers.
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  • we're ambitious and doing well..and yes, we don't have a child..that's a conscious decision. I'm okay either way, I love kids and would love to have one someday but my wife doesn't want one right now...maybe not ever..
  • Couple embracing outdoors near a lake at sunset, smiling with foreheads touching as they hold each other closely in warm natural light.
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  • we've had long conversations about it.. I have never forced her.. it's her body. she's at the peak of her career..
  • she says she doesn't feel ready for motherhood and doesn't know if she ever will... I respect that The issue is my mom desperately wants a grandchild For the past year she's been emotionally pushing.
  • Subtle comments. "you'll understand when you have your own." "don't wait too long" "women regret it later" i kept brushing it off, hoping it would fade two days ago we had guests over who brought their kids..after they left, my mom looked at my wife and said, "You can't even give me one grandchild?
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  • Isn't that what women are meant to do? Your biological clock is already expiring" My wife immediately said "isn't it my decision whether I want to have a child?" It turned into a heated argument.
  • I stepped in and told my mom "please stop forcing us.. it's her decision.. whatever she decides is final..
  • Romantic couple hugging closely on a rooftop terrace with scenic landscape view, woman kissing man’s cheek while he smiles in soft evening light.
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  • you don't get to talk to her like that" I won't lie-my tone was harsh. i've never raised my voice at my mom before..
  • ever... i've always been respectful.but this time I snapped.. I'd been ignoring these comments for a year and hearing her question my wife's worth as a woman just broke something in me...
  • Now my mom hasn't spoken to me in two days. The house feels tense..I feel guilty for shouting at the woman who sacrificed everything for me...
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  • But I also feel like if I hadn't stepped in, I would've failed my wife. my mom hasn't been eating well and mentioned she wants to move out AITAH for losing my temper and shouting on my old mom like this?
  • aggamess Simply NTA, good for you for standing up for your wife. Could you maybe handle it better? Maybe? Would it work? Possibly not.
  • HumanProfile1975 Original Poster's Reply yeah, i keep thinking about that too... maybe i should have taken her aside, calmed her down and explained things calmly.. probably would've been the "right" way. but in moments like those., i just couldn't.. anger and frustration took over. i feel guilty about it thinking there could've been a different way of handling this
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  • Little_Bear_268 NTA. Your wife isn't an incubator. Your mom crossed a line. Wanting grandkids is fine. Shaming a woman for not providing them isn't.
  • HumanProfile1975 Original Poster's Reply thank you. honestly, i get wanting grandchildren, she mentions many times that she wants to live my childhood again through my children.. it makes me emotional how much she loves me..i really understand it.. but shaming my wife over it.. NOT ACCEPTABLE.. i've never raised my voice at my mom before but this time..l couldn't hold back
  • mcmurrml Handle what better? The woman has been making comments and digs for a year according to the post. Then this last time she does it in front of an audience which was to manipulate and put pressure on them. Problem is it backfired on her. I think he did need to take a hard line with her to get the message this having kids or not is none of her business. Trying to humiliate OP wife will not be tolerated.
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  • Strict-Ad597 Why did it take your mother questioning your wife's worth for you to step in? Why did it take a year of her being annoying for you to "snap"?
  • knowitall312 YTA but only because you let it go on this long. You should've cussed her out the first time. Your wife does not need to birth a child for her. What a lunatic.
  • Ok_Temporary8816 Yta only for the fact you say you've been ignoring these comments for a year,man up and stick up for the wife more please. Your mom felt she could say this stuff because you kept giving an inch and giving an inch, so she decided it was time to take a mile.
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  • Proud-Influence-8504 Exactly. Sometimes a 'gentle conversation' doesn't work when boundaries are being crossed repeatedly. Being a 'good son' doesn't mean letting your wife be mistreated. OP did what was necessary in the heat of the moment.
  • BurgerThyme NTA but you should have said "OUR decision" and not "HER decision." You put the onus on your wife.
  • ConsciousStaff7150 It sounds like you've been patient for a long time, but sometimes people need to hear the truth. You didn't shout out of nowhere, it was a buildup. Your wife's feelings are important, and you're protecting that. I hope your mom comes to understand that your relationship is the priority now.
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  • CandidWafer 7980 You're not wrong for choosing your wife. That's the whole point of marriage.

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