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    Woman who works at her dad’s small business notices one coworker ignores her and acts cold whenever her father is in the office, but is friendly and chatty when her dad's away

    Some people act like this woman's existence is an office feature that only turns on when her dad is offline. Now, I wouldn't normally side with the boss's daughter this easily, as I'm not the biggest nepotism fan in the world, but this is so clearly her coworker's problem, it is really that easy

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    • Red-haired woman presenting at a whiteboard during a meeting, holding a marker and smiling while explaining written notes and diagrams to a colleague in a modern office setting.
      via ThisisEngineering

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • What to do about my coworkers puzzling behavior towards me when my boss (my dad) is around?

      Background info is kind of necessary to understand the situation so to make it brief. My (24F) dad. owns his own business, and i have been working here full time for the past 3-4 years.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897

    • A woman in her twenties works full-time at her father’s small business, where there are only a few people total and one of them is a middle‑aged coworker who becomes a completely different human being depending on whether the boss is in the room. When the father is away the coworker is loud chatty friendly he drifts into the main office for morning greetings they rant about customers swap stories and it feels like a normal workplace. The second the boss walks in the building the coworker flips a switch. He stops saying hello avoids eye contact talks to her in clipped sentences and basically acts like she is a background app that should be minimized.  

    • It's a small business as in there's only 3 full time workers (including myself) and a couple part- time workers.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • Since i started working here my dad has been travelling to his home country every month or two for a few weeks at a time, and myself and my one full time coworker who this is about (45M) are running the show here.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • When my dad is away, this coworker and i get along great. He'll come in the main office where i work from every morning to say good morning, well constantly be having chats or ranting about customers to each other throughout the day, etc.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • When my dad is in the office though his behavior is completely different. This man will literally just straight up ignore me.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • The strange part is that the rest of the office does not behave like this. The atmosphere is actually relaxed people talk to each other freely joke around pick up conversations where they left off. The only one acting like there is a secret social firewall is this one guy. He does not suddenly get strict with everyone else he just performs a weird loyalty test every time the boss is around as if being too friendly with the boss’s daughter is a violation of some unwritten code.  

    • Red-haired woman smiling while standing beside a whiteboard during a presentation, holding a marker and engaging in a discussion in a modern office environment.
      via ThisisEngineering

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • He'll come into the main office where my dad and i work from and just not say a word to me most of the time, unless I'm saying hello and good morning to him.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • He has an attitude towards me every time he does talk to me, and is very short towards me.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • And he will not engage in conversation unless my dad leaves for the day, isn't in the office etc.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • I overall feel like i'm walking on egg shells with him and like there's a strange animosity coming from his end towards me.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • The pattern screams insecurity not professionalism. He is likely trying to telegraph that he is not “on her side” when her dad is present that he is not buddies with the boss’s kid that he is keeping his distance because he thinks that looks more neutral. The problem is that it does not look neutral it looks awkward and hostile. It puts the woman in the position of never knowing which version of him she is going to get on any given day.  

    • I realize this may sounds like my dad is a strict boss and that when he's in the office everyone is walking on egg shells.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • But despite him being strict at times, we overall have a pretty relaxed atmosphere here at my work.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897

    • The only thing to do here is to stop guessing his motives and start treating the behavior for what it is an odd performance. She does not need to fix his insecurities she just needs to stop walking on eggshells for someone who cannot decide whether he is allowed to be normal.

    • My other coworkers, myself and even my dad are constantly chatting to each other and such throughout the day.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • No one else behaves like this towards me expect for my one coworker. I'm not sure whether or not i'm just overthinking the situation or not, but this has been going on for a while now and is honestly starting to bother me despite me trying not to let it.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • LouieAvalon Mac Ok you don't say he's doing anything wrong work wise He's not trying to sideline you? Not passing off your work as his own? Anything like that? I wonder if he's concerned that your dad might think he's acting improperly towards you? Kind of overdoing it in the process? Has your dad noticed? Maybe he should have a word Hey bud I've noticed you don't speak to my daughter when I'm - around what's up with that? Are you concerned I might get the wrong idea? - Stop worrying about that
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • Top-Persimmon-5897 Original Poster's Reply No, he hasn't done anything work wise like that to me. And maybe I'm being naive but I've never felt that he has acted inappropriate towards me in that sense. When my dad isn't in the office our conversations are either ranting about customers or are about something to do with work. That's why his behavior is so bizarre to me.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • Top-Persimmon-5897 Original Poster's Reply Honestly, this is a great take and make a lot of sense after you explained more in detail. Over the years working with this coworker, I have noticed sycophant behavior from him too towards my dad. How would you explain the attitude he has towards me though? Because (I try not to let it but) it creates this awkward atmosphere where I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around him. Because if what you're suggesting is the case, hypothetically if I was to
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • mycatpartyhouse Or maybe the dad already had a word about treating his daughter respectfully, so the employee is overcompensating whenever dad is there. Still, the situation is concerning. Needs some communication to figure out why he's acting this way and what's needed for comfortable interactions when dad is present.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • TigerInTheLily He could just simply be worried that your dad will see your guys's relationship as something inappropriate? So ask more strict when he is there. I think you should probably ask him when your dad's not there, what is going on with the change in behavior. You two obviously do get along in a working relationship so I think approaching him and asking would be the best thing to do.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • Ebessan He doesn't want your dad to know he has a thing for you.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • nextCosmicBuffoon My thoughts too. He does not want even the smallest inkling in Dad's mind that he sees OP as attractive, and he's overplaying the I-hardly-know-your-daughter-exists role. He isn't sure how to act.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • Fluffypus I'm getting sycophant vibes where he's simply deferring to whoever the senior person present is.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
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    • Odd-Preparation-472 Maybe he's paranoid that your dad will make assumptions about your relationship you're too close, he's interested in you romantically, he's being too chummy with the boss' kid, he's not dedicated to his work?
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • Healthy-Grape-777 Do you think that it's possible your dad said something to your employees before you started working there about respecting his daughter? And that coworkers just taking it to the extreme.
      via Top-Persimmon-5897
    • Kieselgrund 3 scenarios I can think about: 1. he is anxious that your dad may think he hits on you and tries to avoid that. 2. he is actually trying to hit on you but don't want your dad to notice. 3. he is just generally aware that your dad is your boss and doesn't want him to get the impression that he is not working hard enough and chatting too much. Scenario 3 is the most likely in my opinion. Exchanging necessary topics with the boss without oversharing to avoid conflict. Maybe you can ask
      via Top-Persimmon-5897

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