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Toxic boss breaks down crying in front of the whole team after lead employee announces she is quitting her job: 'You left us in a horrible position'

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  • A woman is sitting at a table with a laptop and crying.
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  • I quit a toxic job after three months and my cold, unapproachable boss broke down crying. Is this damaging my reputation?

    I started a job three months ago- and it's important to note that it was a very "big" job being a leader in a medium size company.
  • As soon as I started, I felt I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
  • I couldn't stand the workplace culture (very high pressure, high stress, and blames employees for not working hard enough constantly) and I really did not enjoy working with my manager.
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  • My manager, who came across fantastic in the interview, turned out to be very stoic and unapproachable.
  • If I made a mistake or tried to understand something, she would escalate to the point of yelling.
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  • She would sit in our 1:1s with her arms crossed and looking down at me and scoff/laugh/make faces if I asked questions.
  • She would walk by my office throughout the day and not even acknowledge me, even in my first weeks.
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  • I ended up feeling that she was so unapproachable that I began to get extreme anxiety about asking questions or getting help while I was drowning in work.
  • She didn't get to know me at all, barely knew any of the names of people on the team I manage, and constantly made decisions that impacted them in negative ways that I had to communicate and justify.
  • I decided to leave half-way through my probation (6 months total) and accepted a job offer for something that felt like a better fit culture-wise.
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  • When I put in my notice, I knew it was a bad time: a whole bunch of other people were leaving, there was a big hiring surge to try and fill and backfill positions, and the team I managed had gone through 3 managers in a short time before I arrived.
  • In order for me to communicate my leaving to the team I manage, she held a big meeting with everyone (20-30 people) and had me announce my departure.
  • Team sitting in an office meeting room.
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  • When I was done, she broke down crying talking about how difficult she knows it is for the team to have this happen- she went on while crying, saying that my choice has left them in a horrible position but she will do her absolute best to fix this and help them out.
  • The session turned into a "we will get through this as a team" and I sat there politely smiling and nodding with my mic on mute.
  • Although I very politely explained to people that it wasn't the right fit for me or that I found a position that was better suited for me, I feel that the communication from my manager around my leaving has been "she is fucking us over".
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  • To be honest, I'm worried about what people think, if people are given the impression that I just didn't care and that I just fucked off of the job leaving them in a horrible situation.
  • I'm not sure if my professional reputation as a leader is damaged by this, and I'm not sure if there's anything I can do about it.
  • Is there a way I should reframe my thinking? If you have any advice, I'd love to hear from you.
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  • alloutofchewingum Don't worry if you were the 3d or 4th person to take that role in a year then it's not you it's them and people know this.
  • Smooth-Pair-1536 Honestly, she's just scared more people on your team will start leaving with you. I'm sure they know how difficult it is to work with her.
  • mcd137 If you found this person difficult to work with, others did as well. If you found the culture toxic, others did as well. For proof, look to the huge turnover that had been (and still is) happening. I think your decision makes sense to most people there. Glad you were able to find something else.
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  • PostmodernRiverdale When I read the title I naively thought the boss was crying cause they felt bad, instead they cried as a way to shift the blame on you... Incredibly unprofessional, very well done on leaving. Don't waste any more time worrying about this and all the best in your new role x
  • GNGRKID That was a manipulation tactic by your boss to try to shift blame. Total nonsense. You've dodged a bullet. Don't even give it a second thought when you leave. If that boss was worth working with, you wouldn't be the 3rd manager in a short time period.
  • New-Revolution-7767 I honestly think you will have no impact on your local reputation, people tacitly know the truth because they are in the same environment, a decent manager would never announce it like She did, which absolutely reflects the harmful environment and leadership you were dealing with, She clearly tried to retaliate in a way on in another making you the cause of their failure not them. you will build a good reputation with a company that respects people.
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  • TemporarySandwich123 Crocodile tears

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