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‘I live alone in a small one-bedroom apartment’: Woman refuses her sister’s demand to move in again after a breakup to protect her boundaries

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  • Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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  • AITJ for refusing to let my sister move in with me after her breakup?

    I'm feeling really conflicted about this, because I know breakups can completely wreck someone, but I also feel like I'm being painted as the bad guy no matter what I do.
  • My sister "Lena" and her boyfriend broke up about a month ago. They lived together, and the breakup wasn't mutual.
  • He asked her to move out, and she's been bouncing between friends' couches since then. Our parents live a few hours away, and she doesn't want to go back there because she says it feels like "going backwards." I live alone in a small one-bedroom apartment.
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  • It's not big, but it's quiet and honestly my safe space. I work long hours, and I really value coming home to somewhere calm.
  • When Lena asked if she could stay with me "for a couple weeks," I hesitated but said I needed time to think about it.
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  • Woman lying on a couch under a blanket in a living room
  • The issue is, Lena and I have lived together before, and it did not go well.
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  • She's messy, doesn't respect boundaries, and tends to unload all her emotions onto whoever is closest.
  • Last time we lived together, I ended up feeling like her therapist instead of her sibling, and it took months for our relationship to recover.
  • I explained all of this to her as gently as I could and said I wasn't comfortable having her move in, even temporarily.
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  • I offered to help her look for short- term rentals and even said I could help with a deposit if needed.
  • She immediately got upset and accused me of abandoning her when she's at her lowest. Now my parents are
  • They're saying that family is supposed to step up in situations like this, and that I'm being cold and selfish for prioritizing my comfort over my sister's wellbeing.
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  • Lena has stopped talking to me entirely and told other relatives that I "care more about my apartment than my own sister." I feel awful because I do love her, and I know she's hurting.
  • But I also know how bad things got last time, and I don't think I can handle that again mentally.
  • AITJ for saying no and holding my boundary? TL;DR: My sister asked to move in with me after a breakup, but our past living situation was bad and I said no.
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  • Now my family says I'm selfish. AITJ?

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