search email community favorite this article chev-right latest posts article list comments tags video article login twitter facebook menu pinterest whatsapp

'[He] said he didn't want to deal with my reaction': Woman accuses boyfriend of being a liar after discovering he has secretly been a vegan for six months, hiding his new diet by buying his own groceries and cooking when she's not home

Advertisement
  • Man trying to keep a secret whilst standing next to a bunch of vegan ingredients
  • Advertisement
  • Found out my boyfriend has been secretly vegan for 6 months and lying about it

    I (26F) have been with my boyfriend Kyle (28M) for 3 years. We live together and usually cook together.
  • About 6 months ago he started saying he wasnt hungry for dinner a lot or that hed already eaten.
  • I thought maybe he was stressed about work or something. Then I started noticing our grocery bill went down and meat I bought would go bad because he wasnt eating it.
  • Advertisement
  • Yesterday I came home early and found him cooking a full vegan meal. I was confused because I didnt know we had those ingredients.
  • Man cooking a dish with vegetables in his kitchen
  • Advertisement
  • He looked panicked and tried to say it was "just an experiment." I pushed more and he finally admitted hes been vegan for 6 months.
  • Hes been secretly buying his own groceries, cooking when im not home, and lying about eating at work or with friends.
  • Advertisement
  • When we go out to eat he orders vegan but pretends its just a preference for that particular dish.
  • I asked why he would hide this and he said he "didnt want to deal with my reaction." I eat meat and never wouldve cared if he went vegan!
  • But the lying is what bothers me. He said he knew id "make it a big thing" and try to accommodate him and he didnt want the attention.
  • Advertisement
  • I said thats not a reason to lie for 6 months! How else has he been lying?
  • Now im questioning everything. If he can lie about something this big for this long what else is he hiding?
  • He thinks im overreacting.
  • Advertisement
  • Couple having a disagreement while drinking coffee in their kitchen
  • AlertCollar3505 Why would he feel the need to lie to you about what he eats?
  • Prior-Ability-8607 Original Poster's Reply Thats exactly what I keep coming back to. Going vegan isn't the issue at all, hiding and lying about it is. If he felt he had to hide something this harmless for six months, that's a trust problem...
  • Advertisement
  • 11 Nineteen soooo who is the new vegan in his life that he's trying to impress and hiding from you?
  • Prior-Ability-8607 Original Poster's Reply Actually, this idea crossed my mind too.. even if I don't want to go there. But the secrecy is what makes it feel sketchy. Honest people don't usually hide something this mundane for half a year...
  • Dramatic_Dig2516 The vegan part isn't the issue at all, it's the sustained lying and gaslighting. Six months of intentionally hiding behavior from someone you live with is not small. Saying he "didn't want to deal with your reaction" is basically admitting he chose deception over an adult conversation. You're not overreacting to questioning trust after that.
  • Advertisement
  • Prior-Ability-8607 Original Poster's Reply Well said. This is exactly what bothers me most. It wasn't a one off lie, it was months of choosing hiding it instead of just talking to me like a partner
  • VEGAN
  • Bunny-haloo Exactly. If there's nothing to hide, why lie?
  • Advertisement
  • Neina_Ixion Vegans do get a bad rep so I do see a possibility that he was worried you may not accept him. FYI, I worked at a place once that actually took future employees out for dinner to see what they eat and refused to hire vegetarians, vegans and people who don't drink. The group was rotten and I left soon after. Check what's going on with him and ask him why he was so afraid to tell you about going vegan. See where the problem lies first. Communicate, then decide on your next steps.
  • Ok_Efficiency5817 He told her, he was afraid of her reaction. So instead of her reflecting on that statement she chose to call him a lier and wonder what else he is lying about. It's obvious she reacts the same to most situations and instead of asking why he was afraid to mention it. She would dismiss the fact that she over reacts to everything he does.
  • Think-Effect8192 because people are crazy, and im not talking about him. ive been a vegetarian for most of my life and its truly insane how many people wont take no for an answer and try to get you to eat meat or try what they made.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article
Show Comments
Next Article