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    '[He] said he didn't want to deal with my reaction': Woman accuses boyfriend of being a liar after discovering he has secretly been a vegan for six months, hiding his new diet by buying his own groceries and cooking when she's not home

    Would you break up with your partner if they lied about becoming vegan?

    This is a question I never thought I'd have to ask…But I guess the world never fails to surprise us, especially in this day and age. Firstly, because I'm not entirely sure why one would feel the need to hide their dietary preferences from their partner. And secondly, why would someone pick a partner that they believe to be so judgmental, unless they have another motive for hiding their 'secret' sweet potatoes…? 

    People can try to blame it on the stigma around veganism, but the truth is that by now, half of the population has some form of dietary requirement. Whether as a result of a sensitive stomach or simply trying to fit in with the moms in your yoga class. 

    Oats and almonds have taken over, and gluten? A thing of the past. 'Regular' is no longer regular, and the plant-based products are being snatched off the shelves faster than you can say 'spinach'….So, unless this man has a secret vegan girlfriend on the side, we're so desperately curious as to why he's decided to keep his veganism in the pantry? 

    Author image for Emma Saven Emma Saven
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    • I think when most people become vegan, it isn’t necessarily something that comes “out of the blue,” despite what others may say. Most of the time, individuals who eventually become vegan have always felt some sort of pull toward it, often finding themselves previously “justifying” their food choices, whereas others would not.

      So even if this man’s partner did not understand his sudden change of heart, we have reason to believe it was the deceit that bothered her most…

    • Man trying to keep a secret whilst standing next to a bunch of vegan ingredients
      via dean-drobot

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • Found out my boyfriend has been secretly vegan for 6 months and lying about it

      I (26F) have been with my boyfriend Kyle (28M) for 3 years. We live together and usually cook together.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • About 6 months ago he started saying he wasnt hungry for dinner a lot or that hed already eaten.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • I thought maybe he was stressed about work or something. Then I started noticing our grocery bill went down and meat I bought would go bad because he wasnt eating it.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
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    • Yesterday I came home early and found him cooking a full vegan meal. I was confused because I didnt know we had those ingredients.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • Man cooking a dish with vegetables in his kitchen
      via peopleinmotion

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • He looked panicked and tried to say it was "just an experiment." I pushed more and he finally admitted hes been vegan for 6 months.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • Hes been secretly buying his own groceries, cooking when im not home, and lying about eating at work or with friends.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
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    • When we go out to eat he orders vegan but pretends its just a preference for that particular dish.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • I asked why he would hide this and he said he "didnt want to deal with my reaction." I eat meat and never wouldve cared if he went vegan!
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • But the lying is what bothers me. He said he knew id "make it a big thing" and try to accommodate him and he didnt want the attention.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
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    • I said thats not a reason to lie for 6 months! How else has he been lying?
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • Now im questioning everything. If he can lie about something this big for this long what else is he hiding?
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • He thinks im overreacting.
      via Prior-Ability-8607
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    • Do you think it’s justifiable to lie to someone you love for half a year simply to avoid dealing with their reaction? No matter how well you think you know your partner, it isn’t fair to assume how they’ll respond. Who knows? She could have been excited about this new chapter in his life and welcomed this lifestyle with open arms. But as a result of his dishonesty, he’ll never know…

      Read more to discover the viewpoints of our fellow readers and see which side of the kitchen you’re willing to stand behind!

    • Couple having a disagreement while drinking coffee in their kitchen
      via pocstock

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • AlertCollar3505 Why would he feel the need to lie to you about what he eats?
      via AlertCollar3505
    • Prior-Ability-8607 Original Poster's Reply Thats exactly what I keep coming back to. Going vegan isn't the issue at all, hiding and lying about it is. If he felt he had to hide something this harmless for six months, that's a trust problem...
      via Prior-Ability-8607
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    • 11 Nineteen soooo who is the new vegan in his life that he's trying to impress and hiding from you?
      via 11Nineteen
    • Prior-Ability-8607 Original Poster's Reply Actually, this idea crossed my mind too.. even if I don't want to go there. But the secrecy is what makes it feel sketchy. Honest people don't usually hide something this mundane for half a year...
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • Dramatic_Dig2516 The vegan part isn't the issue at all, it's the sustained lying and gaslighting. Six months of intentionally hiding behavior from someone you live with is not small. Saying he "didn't want to deal with your reaction" is basically admitting he chose deception over an adult conversation. You're not overreacting to questioning trust after that.
      via Dramatic_Dig2516
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    • Prior-Ability-8607 Original Poster's Reply Well said. This is exactly what bothers me most. It wasn't a one off lie, it was months of choosing hiding it instead of just talking to me like a partner
      via Prior-Ability-8607
    • VEGAN
      via mariashipakina

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Bunny-haloo Exactly. If there's nothing to hide, why lie?
      via Bunny-haloo
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    • Neina_Ixion Vegans do get a bad rep so I do see a possibility that he was worried you may not accept him. FYI, I worked at a place once that actually took future employees out for dinner to see what they eat and refused to hire vegetarians, vegans and people who don't drink. The group was rotten and I left soon after. Check what's going on with him and ask him why he was so afraid to tell you about going vegan. See where the problem lies first. Communicate, then decide on your next steps.
      via Neina_Ixion
    • Ok_Efficiency5817 He told her, he was afraid of her reaction. So instead of her reflecting on that statement she chose to call him a lier and wonder what else he is lying about. It's obvious she reacts the same to most situations and instead of asking why he was afraid to mention it. She would dismiss the fact that she over reacts to everything he does.
      via Ok_Efficiency5817
    • Think-Effect8192 because people are crazy, and im not talking about him. ive been a vegetarian for most of my life and its truly insane how many people wont take no for an answer and try to get you to eat meat or try what they made.
      via Think-Effect8192

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