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    ‘Kara's smile froze': 32-year-old woman proudly shuts down pretentious 20-something-year-old coworker who keeps pretending like she doesn't remember her name

    When a pretentious 20-something-year-old employee tries to take down her 32-year-old coworker, she learns a lesson in professional karma. 

    It's a tale as old as time, women pinning themselves against other women in a professional setting, but this generation is here to squash that in its place. 

    This hardworking millennial has been through the professional wringer, as millennials have their entire life. Because of this, we are over it. Period. We have no problem shutting down any younger generation's game. This employee is a perfect example of that. She tried taking the civil, mature way, but the younger coworker refused. So she had to help karma along. 

    It all started because she and this younger employee are the only women on their team. Hey, it happens, but that does not mean that these two women should be competing to be "best female employee" at all. Women should be lifting each other up! Unfortunately, that is not what this younger employee thought. So she attempted to play workplace mind games…

    Author image for Elna McHilderson Elna McHilderson
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    • ‘Kara's smile froze': 32-year-old woman proudly shuts down pretentious 20-something-year-old co-worker who keeps pretending like she doesn't remember her name
      via Unsplash+ (and Michael T)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • The game? Pretending like she didn't know this older coworker's name in front of higher-ups and fellow team members. 

      This millennial employee tried to approach the situation from the high road. She pulled her aside and asked her to please remember her name, that it is not only disrespectful to her, but also unprofessional. The girl apologized and tried to blame it on ADHD, but it was very obvious she had no problem remembering all the men's names. 

      Eventually, the younger coworker got too pretentious and thought she could get away with her shenanigans in a big meeting with the director. Unfortunately for her, millennials aren't playing any games anymore. So she got called out, hard. 

    • "My coworker kept 'forgetting' my name in meetings, so I let her do it in front of the one person she wanted to impress"

      I (F, 32) work in a fairly small office where everyone knows everyone's business, even if we all pretend we don't.
      via TrinitySignal
    • There's this woman on my team, "Kara" (F, late 20s), who's very good at being nice in a way that feels sharp.
      via TrinitySignal
    • She smiles, she compliments your shoes, she uses exclamation points, and then she'll slide a little pin under your skin.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • For months she's been doing this thing where she "forgets" my name in group settings. Not in a normal, awkward way, but in a pointed way.
      via TrinitySignal
    • She'll look right at me and go, "Can you send that file, um, what's your name again?" while everyone stares.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • The first time I laughed it off because honestly, I assumed she was just frazzled. The second time, I corrected her and she did the whole "oh my god I'm so sorry, I'm terrible with names" routine, even though we sit ten feet apart and have worked together for a year.
      via TrinitySignal
    • After that it became a pattern: only in meetings, only when other people were watching, and always right after I'd contributed something.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • If I said an idea, she'd repeat it and then call me "honey" or "girl" like we were at brunch, not at work.
      via TrinitySignal
    • I started feeling smaller every time it happened, which made me mad at myself, because why am I letting a grown woman treat me like an unnamed assistant.
      via TrinitySignal
    • I tried direct, calm. I pulled her aside after a meeting and said, "Hey, just so you know, it's been happening a lot, my name is \\\\ and it matters to me that we use it." She got wide eyed, apologized, said she had ADHD and her brain "just blanks." I believed her for about a week until she introduced a new contractor correctly by full name, title, and where he went to school, while still "blanking" on mine.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • Then she started doing it in emails too. "Hi, can you do this? Thanks!" No name, no greeting to me specifically, just a vague task drop.
      via TrinitySignal
    • It sounds petty, I know, but it adds up. Especially because she would always sign off with her full name, credentials, little inspirational quote, the whole brand.
      via TrinitySignal
    • ‘Kara's smile froze': 32-year-old woman proudly shuts down pretentious 20-something-year-old co-worker who keeps pretending like she doesn't remember her name
      via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • It felt like she wanted to be the only woman in the room with an identity.
      via TrinitySignal
    • Here's where the revenge part comes in. We were having a quarterly review meeting with leadership, and Kara had been talking for weeks about impressing our new director.
      via TrinitySignal
    • She would rehearse phrases out loud, like "we need to move the needle" and "I'm excited about the roadmap," and she kept mentioning she planned to ask for a promotion.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • I didn't want to ruin her life or anything, just wanted the behavior to stop.
      via TrinitySignal
    • The meeting starts, we're all in a conference room, and Kara is in full performance mode.
      via TrinitySignal
    • She talks a lot, she interrupts, she laughs at the director's jokes a little too hard.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • Then we get to my part. I present a project update, clearly, with numbers. The director nods, asks a follow up.
      via TrinitySignal
    • I answer. Kara waits until I finish and then she says, loud and sweet, "Great point, what's your name again?" She looks right at me with that innocent face like she's doing a bit.
      via TrinitySignal
    • ‘Kara's smile froze': 32-year-old woman proudly shuts down pretentious 20-something-year-old co-worker who keeps pretending like she doesn't remember her name
      via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Advertisement
    • I felt my pulse in my throat. And I made a decision. I smiled back and said, calmly, "It's the same name as the last 20 times, Kara.
      via TrinitySignal
    • I'm surprised you can remember every man's name in this room but not mine." It wasn't shouted, it wasn't sarcastic, it was just a statement.
      via TrinitySignal
    • The room went dead silent. Kara's smile froze. The director looked at her with this flat expression and said, "Yeah, that's not a great look." Kara started stammering about her brain and being overwhelmed, but the moment had already landed.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • Seriously, Kara, we can remember your name and we've never even met you. How come you cannot remember the coworker who sits by you everyday's name? Hmmm? How come she has no problem remembering yours? How come you have no problem remembering all your male coworkers' names?

      It's these immature professional mind games that we are simply not standing for anymore. Especially millennial women, who were raised with the mentality that they could do anything, but then were served a harsh dish once they entered the boomer-dominated workforce. So sit down, Kara, and remember your coworkers' names. 

    • I didn't pile on. I just turned back to the director and kept going, like the meeting mattered more than Kara's little game.
      via TrinitySignal
    • After that, Kara barely spoke. When the meeting ended she cornered me by the coffee machine and hissed that I embarrassed her.
      via TrinitySignal
    • I told her, very softly, "Good. Now stop." She hasn't "forgotten" my name once since. She also hasn't been friendly, which honestly is a relief.
      via TrinitySignal
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    • I know this wasn't some cinematic takedown, but it felt like finally taking my space back, and I'm weirdly proud I did it without raising my voice.
      via TrinitySignal

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