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    Friend keeps “forgetting” wallet at home, expects others to cover their bills with vague promises to pay later: ‘They never hesitated to order. Never checked prices’

    Friend always forgets their wallet, and somehow everyone else always ends up covering the tab, like we're partying in a 'cash only' establishment and none of us have smartphones.

    In the story below  It starts as a quirky habit, the classic pocket check and the familiar line about forgetting the wallet. At first, it feels harmless, even funny. They promise to send money later, and sometimes they do. But over time, the pattern shifts. The wallet stays forgotten, the phone stays charged, and the promises turn into "I'll get you next time," which often turns into nothing unless someone brings it up.

    Unfortunately for me, I had not one but two friends like that growing up. Were not friends anymore because, well. As the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you; make the friend group pay for your stuff for 3 years, shame on me, or something like that. 

    Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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    • Two men sitting on a subway train, looking at each other
      via Kyle Bushnell

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • Those two had different strategies when it came to being cheap: One would always jump when it was a bar or a club. Knowing everyone around him wasn’t even remotely capable of making any sort of calculation. And act like the responsible one. Telling us how much each of us should pay. Leaving out the fact that he would pay a fraction of what the others would.

      The other one was more of the classic forgot my wallet type. Only that it would usually happen at gatherings HE INITIATED.

    • I have a friend who somehow always forgets their wallet, but never forgets their phone.

      At first it felt like one of those harmless quirks. We'd go out to eat, order coffee, grab drinks, whatever, and when it came time to pay, they'd do the whole pocket check routine.
      via Weary-Hair-316

    • What’s strange is the confidence. No hesitation at the register, no concern about prices, no effort to keep things light. They order like someone else’s wallet is their backup plan. The assumption becomes that someone else will handle it, and for a while, that someone is always you. There’s no embarrassment, no urgency, just a casual expectation that the bill will be covered.

    • Pat pockets. Check bag. Pause. Then the familiar line: "Oh wow, I forgot my wallet again.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Can you spot me? I'll send it later." And to be fair, the first few times, they did send it later.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • Sometimes. Eventually. So I didn't think much of it. What started to bother me was the consistency.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Two young men relaxing on a couch, one checking his phone while the other rests
      via Or Hakim

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • Eventually, the dynamic changes when boundaries are drawn. Asking for payment up front or suggesting splitting at the register makes the wallet appear more often, or suddenly Apple Pay works. The friendship doesn’t implode, but the unspoken agreement is broken. The relief comes from realizing you’re not imagining things and that it’s okay to stop pretending.

    • Not the forgetting part, but the confidence. They never hesitated to order. Never checked prices. Never said "I'll keep it light since I forgot my wallet." If anything, they ordered faster than everyone else.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Drinks, add-ons, sides. Phone always in hand. Wallet always mysteriously absent. Over time, "I'll send it later" turned into "I'll get you next time." And "next time" turned into silence unless I reminded them.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • If I didn't bring it up, it just... didn't happen. And somehow, that became normal. The weirdest part was how casual it all felt.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Like this unspoken assumption that I'd cover it and deal with the follow-up. No embarrassment. No urgency.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Two men laughing and holding each other’s faces indoors
      via Eduardo Ramos

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • It’s not about the money, it’s about the pattern. The friend wasn’t necessarily trying to be entitled, they just got comfortable with the idea that someone else would handle it. And they were right, until they weren’t. It’s wild how much easier it is to draw boundaries once you stop relying on vibes and actually see what’s going on.

    • Just vibes. I didn't want to turn it into a confrontation because individually, none of the amounts were huge.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • It was more the pattern that started to feel off. I couldn't tell if I was overreacting or if this was actually happening as often as it felt like it was.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Once I realized that, my reaction changed. I stopped paying by default. I started saying things like, "Can you send it now?" or "Let's split at the register." Funny enough, the wallet started appearing more often after that.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • Or Apple Pay suddenly worked. The friendship didn't explode or anything. But the dynamic shifted. And honestly, it was a relief to stop. pretending I was imagining things.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • I don't think this friend set out to be entitled. I think they just got comfortable with the idea that someone else would handle it.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • And they were right, until they weren't. It's wild how much easier it is to draw boundaries once you stop relying on vibes and actually see what's going on.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • babushka6 With the risk of being harsh, I think you should let this friendship go. Friends don't do this to friends. My best friend and I always take turns treating each other, we never have to ask or remind the other one that it's their turn. This person is a user, and they'll find another way to use you, trust me.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Paulinfresno Sounds like a serial mooch to me.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Historical-Mix3860 A freeloader IS NOT a friend.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • Several-Cycle8290 Nope bye bye "friend"! It's very rare that somewhere Apple Pay doesn't work so that's bullshit. There was one Italian place that's a local restaurant in the town I work that didn't have tap pay so I panicked but I know my debit card number, exp date exp. So they manually typed it in. Just saying you almost have to try to not have a payment method merchants accept. She def was trying to see how much she can get by you.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • SurestLettuce88 I think I've read this story a few times word for word now, it's not a bad one I guess, but please write your own stuff
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Miserable_Strain 1768 This person is not your friend.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • Green__Meanie Lose this "friend." They are toxic
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Catsareawesome007 It's extremely obvious that they don't care about the prices as they're not paying for anything. Next time that happens, look at them in the eye & say: You didn't forget your wallet! Stop using people to pay for your expensive shit! Then laugh in their face. Don't pay for shit. Let them get arrested, lol Never go out with them again. They are users. They think you are a weak pushover who won't say no to them.
      via Weary-Hair-316
    • Keithz1957 I never leave home without my wallet or phone. You're being played.
      via Weary-Hair-316
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    • Strict Research_1876 You need to beat them to the pocket pat, oh no I forgot my wallet. See what happens if you can't pay either.
      via Weary-Hair-316

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