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    Girlfriend’s unemployed brother moves in, lives rent-free for 6 months, leaving the boyfriend feeling like a stranger in his own home: ‘Every night I come home and theyre playing video games together or watching movies or ordering food’

    Boyfriend feels like a stranger in his own home as his girlfriend and her brother spend every night together, while the brother refuses to contribute or move out.

    The brother moved in for a few months, but six months later he's still living rent-free, not helping out, and taking over the house. The boyfriend's frustration built up as he watched his relationship fade into the background, replaced by nightly gaming sessions and takeout dinners with his girlfriend and her brother. The house that used to feel like a shared space now feels like a stranger's living room, with the boyfriend barely getting a moment alone with his partner.

    When he finally spoke up, the response was more about loyalty to family than fairness. The brother's presence became the center of the home, while the boyfriend's needs were pushed aside. The suggestion that his girlfriend could leave if she thought he was being unfair wasn't about ultimatums, it was about reclaiming some sense of control and normalcy. The house was his, the relationship was theirs, and the situation had stopped feeling balanced.

    Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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    • Man standing alone in the kitchen holding a coffee, looking thoughtful
      via f.t.Photographer

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • AITJ for telling my girlfriend she can leave with her brother if she thinks Im being unfair

      My girlfriend 28f and I 31m have been together for almost four years. We live in my house that I bought before we got together.
      via Either-Hawk-1605

    • Now don’t get me wrong, i personally would do practically anything for my partner’s family. What I’m saying is that it is so obvious where the line should be drawn. Because if your relationship is taking hits that are as hard as our guy’s relationship. Meaning, hits that are about to end the said relationship. Your partner should immediately reprioritize before their family isn’t their partner’s partner’s family. And while that sentence is a mouthful, what’s behind it is just common sense.

    • Her brother 34m moved in with us six months ago after he lost his job and broke up with his long term girlfriend around the same time.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • I was fine with it at first. Get back on your feet take a few months whatever.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • But its been six months now and nothings changed. He got a new job about three months ago making decent money but hasnt paid a single bill or even offered.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • Doesnt buy groceries. Doesnt clean. Just exists in my house. The worst part is I barely see my girlfriend alone anymore.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • Man and woman arguing in a kitchen, facing each other in a tense moment
      via Drazen Zigic

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Every night I come home and theyre playing video games together or watching movies or ordering food.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • Which would be fine sometimes but its every single night. I feel like a roommate in my own relationship.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • Last night I got home and they were on the couch with Chinese food. Didnt get me anything didnt even ask if I wanted to join.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • I just stood there for a second and something snapped. I told her that her brother is a grown man and he needs to find his own place.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • She got defensive and said hes her brother and I was being unfair. I said if she thinks thats unfair then she can go find a place with him because Im done feeling like a stranger in my own home.
      via Either-Hawk-1605

    • Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the living arrangements, it’s watching the dynamics shift without anyone noticing. The boyfriend’s outburst wasn’t about being harsh, it was about wanting things to feel right again. The real issue isn’t the brother’s presence, it’s the imbalance that comes when one person’s comfort is prioritized over another’s. The relationship used to be the focus, but now it feels like everyone else’s needs come first.

    • AITJ for saying that to her
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • SignificantReach118 Six months no rent and they didnt even get you food Imao nah youd have been way more patient than me
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • jellybeans1396 NTJ. You've already been very generous, and the brother has got a job now. He needs to be an adult and get his own place Also side note - it's so rude to order takeaway and not even check in to see if you'd like something. Like that's just basic manners?? I think that'd send me over the edge too lol
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • Enough-Attention-430 NTJ They need to go and give you your peace
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • Born Excitement_7475 NTA dude, you've been more than generous letting him stay 6 months rent-free and now he's basically taken over your relationship too. The fact that they didn't even ask if you wanted food when you got home is just disrespectful as hell Your house, your rules, and honestly sounds like your girlfriend has chosen her brother over you anyway
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • Realistic-Lake5897 NTJ. Throw them both out. This is ridiculous.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • Karania402 NTA Honestly, I think both of them should move out. I'm not sure whether this relationship is savable if she won't even spend time w/ you, OP...
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • IcedTman Bro, I want to shake your hand because it takes balls to tell your girl that especially after 4 years. It must have been hard but you were firm, good for you.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
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    • Coder Joe1 Enjoy having a spine. Your next girlfriend will appreciate it.
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • LostInNothingBox They are both milking you fine. Is that her real brother or a friend that's brother like?
      via Either-Hawk-1605
    • GoddessfromCyprus NTJ, they're using you. Time they both moved out, and allow you to live in peace and buy some Chinese to celebrate. Updateme
      via Either-Hawk-1605

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