Optional PTO donation program leads to tension after employee refuses to donate his hours to coworker he barely knows: 'My boss pulled me aside and said it looks bad'

A benefit meant to help employees during tough times has become a source of discomfort for one longtime worker. The man, 32, has worked at his company for six years and saved about 120 hours of paid time off. He recently became the focus of an office dispute after he chose not to donate any of his hours to a coworker he hardly knows.

The company has a PTO donation program where employees can give unused hours to coworkers in need. Human resources sent an email asking for donations for a woman in accounting who had used up her PTO and needed more time off for unspecified "personal reasons." Many employees gave a little, but the man decided not to join in.

His choice soon got noticed. One coworker, who was very outspoken about the fundraiser, asked him how many hours he would give. When he said he wasn't donating, she seemed surprised and asked why. He explained that he didn't know the employee or her situation and wanted to keep his PTO for himself. She did not like his answer.

At the next team meeting, the coworker mentioned that some people were "refusing to help," and aimed her comments at him. Since then, he has noticed his coworkers treating him differently. Things got worse when his manager spoke to him in private, saying that while donations are optional, not joining in "looks bad" when others are helping.

Later, it became clear that the time off was for an elective medical procedure that wasn't covered by federal leave rules. By then, coworkers had already given about 80 hours, but 40 more were still needed.

The man says he feels torn. He understands why someone might need time off, but he believes PTO is something you earn, not something to share. He has been planning a trip with his saved time and worries that giving in to pressure could set a bad example. Even his girlfriend suggested giving a little just to keep the peace at work, but he still feels uneasy about it.