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    20-year-old aunt refuses to be her sister's full-time babysitter, planning a vacation with friends when family turns hostile: ‘She said I’m being irresponsible, like he's my baby not hers'

    Being an aunt or an uncle is the greatest. You get to play and interact with the young ones in the family, but when the tantrums start, the sleep schedules are messed up, or when your niece or nephew is going through a rebellious phase, you can pleasantly take a backseat to all of the parenting responsibility. It takes a village to raise any little one, but sometimes parents take that saying too far, expecting their family members to pick up the slack of their responsibility. 

    These parents were happy to let the village raise their 5-year-old son, but when the boy's aunt started getting tired of being a full-time babysitter, they doubled down and guilt-tripped her. The mom felt entitled to her services and even called the 20-year-old aunt selfish for setting healthy boundaries, but this strong-armed approach to force the aunt into babysitting her nephew more often eventually backfired, pushing her away and driving a wedge between everyone in the family. 

    Mom was getting too comfortable dumping her child onto her sister, and found out the hard way that you can't force someone to be an ever-present parent figure. You'll only end up losing your greatest free childcare asset in the process. 

    Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer Jesse Kessenheimer
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    • Woman upset and holding her head with a baby wakling around.
      via Africa Images

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • AITA for leaving the house to stay with my boyfriend after my sister forced me to take care of her child?
      via Loren_3

    • From Your Author

      WBTE
      via Jesse Kessenheimer

      Hiya, it's Jes, again. 

      I'm proudly an aunt to 4 little nuggets: Three boys and a girl. While I'm not much of a kid-person myself, struggling to make jokes with kids that don't get it, and panicking when the baby in my arms cries for their mama, I have done my best to be a good aunt to them. I try my hardest to be present, offer babysitting occasionally, and I always send gifts on the kiddo's birthdays. So if my older sibling or my sister-in-law suddenly decided that I was going to be a full-time addition to the parenting squad, it would rock my world… In a bad way. 

      Don't get me wrong, I like spending time with my niece and nephews, but the best part about being an aunt or uncle is being able to go home to peace and quiet at the end of the day. It's that healthy separation that allows us to be clear-headed, fun, and 100% mindful when we're with the kids once again. But without that boundary line, family roles can get blurry, and the village could decide to come after you, just like the young aunt in this next story.

    • Me (20F) and I do not like kids. I never have I do not enjoy taking care of them playing with them or being responsible for them I have always been clear about this with my family. My sister ( 31F) has a daughter (5m) I love her but loving someone does not mean I want to be a caregiver to the most thing i hate.
      via Loren_3
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    • A few months ago my sister started asking me to help her with her daughter. at first it was small things watching her for an hour picking her up from kindergarten staying with her while my sister ran errands.I did. not love it but I agreed because I felt pressured.
      via Loren_3
    • Slowly it turned into more and more I was expected to babysit multiple days a week for hours I had to feed her play with her help her shower and put her to sleep My sister never asked anymore she just assumed I would do it and yell at me when i dont.
      via Loren_3
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    • Whenever I tried to say no she would say things like you are young, you have free time, you live at home anyway or she would guilt me by saying she is family and I should help and blame me.
      via Loren_3
    • Young woman uncomfortable with the people around her.
      via Africa Images

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • I felt trapped and exhausted even though I hated every minute of it I still did it because every time I complained my family told me I was selfish.and I felt that I were a one.
      via Loren_3
    • Recently I told everyone that I had planned a trip with my friends .It was already paid for and planned weeks in advance | was excited because it was the first time in a long while I felt like I had something for myself.
      via Loren_3
    • My sister immediately got angry She said what am I supposed to do with my daughter then I reminded her that I never agreed to be her full time babysitter.
      via Loren_3
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    • She exploded and said I was abandoning her and being irresponsible.like he's my baby not hers. She told me that I should cancel my trip and take care of my niece instead. So i immediately said no.
      via Loren_3
    • That turned into a huge argument She called me names including b1t€h and said I was immature and heartless My parents sided ofcorse with her and said I should step up and help my sister.
      via Loren_3
    • I felt overwhelmed and honestly done taht j would really snap at them If I stayed. So I packed a bag and left the house to stay with my boyfriend for a few days.
      via Loren_3
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    • Now they are furious. They say I ran away from responsibility and that I chose my boyfriend and friends over my own family. My sister says I betrayed her and that she can not rely on me anymore. I feel guilty for my niece an I feel that I am the bad one.
      via Loren_3
    • Upset young woman in bed at home.
      via Africa Images

      Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    • Certain Drop_902 Uhm...where is her husband/father of the child? NTA. Your sister acts as if she feels like she ruined her life with kids and is taking out on you bc you don't have kids. It's one thing if she has to work and can't find arrangements for the time being, but its another to expect free childcare anytime you feel like it. She had that baby, not you. She needs to pay you for your time or hire someone. Why don't your parents help out and babysit, since they see nothing wrong with a fam
      via Certain Drop_902
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    • OP Loren_3 I didn't mention him actually there cause he was like the kind of person who's like anything his wife wants.he's okay with it so he is at her side actually.
      via Loren_3
    • RoyallyOakie NTA... Your sister is responsible for her child, not you. You need to set boundaries here and be confident enough to maintain them. Just say no.
      via RoyallyOakie
    • MarionberryPlus8474 NTA. "She said what am I supposed to do with my daughter...", I dunno, be a mom? It's her kid. And for that matter, where are your/her parents in all this? Are they "stepping up" to babysit her all the time? Her saying she can't rely on you is winning.
      via MarionberryPlus8474
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    • Cosmicshimmer That's HER child. Not yours. You have no responsibility because you don't have children. NTA.
      via Cosmicshimmer
    • honorablenarwhal Sounds like your parents are volunteering to step in and provide free childcare for their grandchild, since they're so vocal about this issue! ΝΤΑ
      via honorablenarwhal
    • BeachPlze NTA. Your sister and the child's father are responsible for their daughter's care. The child is not your responsibility. Your sister should have never relied on you in the first place. Does your niece live in the home with you and your parents? Does your sister not have her own home? Do your parents have an expectation that you will partake in babysitting rather than paying rent? I'm trying to figure out how or why they are on your sister's side. If that's the case, you would be better
      via BeachPlze
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    • TerMornetor NTA and sister saying she can't rely on you anymore sounds like a win in my opinion. She can find someone else to mooch off of.
      via TerMornetor
    • Adventurous-Block-71 She got to have a child free, fun, no stress early 20s. Why shouldnt you? "You have more free time" yeah and so did you before you chose to have children.
      via Loren_3
    • Rainbowbright31 "She can not rely on me anymore" - exactly, simply say "You are right you can't", to be fair, given your parents are siding with her, this entitlement is clearly bred into her. NTA
      via Rainbowbright31

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