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Working mom demands coworker adjusts her schedule for her kids, gets offended when she won't move her vacation days for her: 'Must be nice to not have real responsibilities'

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  • a young girl wearing a backpack sits in the back seat of a car and reaches for the open door as if to close it
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  • Am I wrong for telling my coworker i will not adjust my schedule for her anymore?

    I 27F work in a small office with mostly women. About a year ago a coworker Jenna 34F asked if i could sometimes swap shifts with her because of her kids school schedule.
  • I dont have kids and my schedule is pretty flexible so at first i said sure.
  • It felt like a nice thing to do and it wasnt that often. Over time it slowly became expected.
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  • She would tell me last minute she needed me to cover mornings or stay late. If i hesitated she would sigh and say she has no one else and its really hard being a mom.
  • I started planning my life around work just in case she needed something. I didnt love it but i felt guilty saying no.
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  • a laughing woman in a business shirt sits at a desk with office clutter on it, with a large plant behind her
  • Last month i requested a few specific days off for personal stuff. Nothing dramatic just plans i was looking forward to.
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  • Jenna immediately asked if i could move them because she needed those exact days covered. I said no
  • She got quiet and said must be nice to not have real responsibilities. That comment really bothered me.
  • The next day i told her i am done adjusting my schedule for her. I said i am happy to help occasionally if asked in advance but i am not the backup plan anymore.
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  • She got upset and said i am punishing her for being a single mom. Now she barely talks to me and a few coworkers are acting cold.
  • I feel bad because i know she has it harder than me. But i also feel like i let this go on too long and it crossed into entitlement.
  • Am i the jerk for finally setting a boundary even if it makes her life more difficult?
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  • a group of people sat in a glass meeting room with laptops during nighttime, as seen from the hallway
  • DeadBear65 Is her not talking to you a bad thing?
  • ValleyGirlSlang44 That is insane. You are not the jerk. Her childcare is not your issue to resolve, and anyone who think so is as ridiculous as she is. Don't have kids if you aren't able to be there for them when necessary without help.
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  • Marialnconnu The the "cold" coworkers that they are welcome to act as her go-to backup.
  • CompanyAdmirable7811 Talk about entitlement! This really boils my blood... I would tell her that you weren't going to cover her at all anymore.
  • OkTadpole2920 She feels entitled to your time, she is the jerk
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  • Critical-History5340 It's totally reasonable to stop being the default backup. You're not punishing her you're protecting your time. That's not selfish, it's healthy.
  • Main_Cauliflower5479 NTJ. She needs to go to management to have HER schedule adjusted if she can't work her agreed to schedule. Her lifestyle is not your problem.

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