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    Working mom demands coworker adjusts her schedule for her kids, gets offended when she won't move her vacation days for her: 'Must be nice to not have real responsibilities'

    Being a working mom is having a job on hard mode.

    While there are millions of women in the US alone who juggle being a parent with being an employee, the fact remains that maintaining the work-life balance can be extra difficult for them. The culture of many workplaces is blatantly unfriendly towards anybody who has to prioritize raising their children as well as earning a living. It is one of the main reasons that childcare is such a big business. 

    Because of this, finding an employer or even just a couple of sympathetic colleagues who are willing to make their day a little more accommodating is like striking gold for working moms. It can give them some much-needed breathing room to fulfil all the duties that they are expected to keep on top of. 

    However, it is also fully possible for some to place unfair expectations on those they work with in the name of being able to parent. Just because a coworker doesn't have kids doesn't mean that they always have to be the fall guy when childcare duties come calling. When this becomes a pattern, it is inevitable that resentment is going to grow.

    Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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    • a young girl wearing a backpack sits in the back seat of a car and reaches for the open door as if to close it
      via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
       

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    • In this story, one woman had grown tired of her older colleague's insistence that she always change her schedule so that she could spend more time with her kids. She did not have children, and her coworker had taken that as an excuse to swap shifts with her occasionally to be able to pick her kids up from school. 

      Initially, the woman didn't mind, as her schedule was relatively flexible, and this did not happen very often. Things began to change when this arrangement seemed to transform from an occasional favor to an expectation, which frequently happened at the last minute.

      The final straw came when she booked a few vacation days, and her colleague asked her if she would be able to move them because she needed her to cover for her. She refused, leading to a disagreement that she felt her other coworkers had also picked up on. She wondered if she was in the wrong.

    • Am I wrong for telling my coworker i will not adjust my schedule for her anymore?

      I 27F work in a small office with mostly women. About a year ago a coworker Jenna 34F asked if i could sometimes swap shifts with her because of her kids school schedule.
      via torlith_07
    • I dont have kids and my schedule is pretty flexible so at first i said sure.
      via torlith_07
    • It felt like a nice thing to do and it wasnt that often. Over time it slowly became expected.
      via torlith_07
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    • She would tell me last minute she needed me to cover mornings or stay late. If i hesitated she would sigh and say she has no one else and its really hard being a mom.
      via torlith_07
    • I started planning my life around work just in case she needed something. I didnt love it but i felt guilty saying no.
      via torlith_07
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    • a laughing woman in a business shirt sits at a desk with office clutter on it, with a large plant behind her
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

    • Last month i requested a few specific days off for personal stuff. Nothing dramatic just plans i was looking forward to.
      via torlith_07
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    • Jenna immediately asked if i could move them because she needed those exact days covered. I said no
      via torlith_07
    • She got quiet and said must be nice to not have real responsibilities. That comment really bothered me.
      via torlith_07
    • The next day i told her i am done adjusting my schedule for her. I said i am happy to help occasionally if asked in advance but i am not the backup plan anymore.
      via torlith_07
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    • She got upset and said i am punishing her for being a single mom. Now she barely talks to me and a few coworkers are acting cold.
      via torlith_07
    • I feel bad because i know she has it harder than me. But i also feel like i let this go on too long and it crossed into entitlement.
      via torlith_07
    • Am i the jerk for finally setting a boundary even if it makes her life more difficult?
      via torlith_07
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    • a group of people sat in a glass meeting room with laptops during nighttime, as seen from the hallway
      via Mario Gogh

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

    • DeadBear65 Is her not talking to you a bad thing?
      via DeadBear65
    • ValleyGirlSlang44 That is insane. You are not the jerk. Her childcare is not your issue to resolve, and anyone who think so is as ridiculous as she is. Don't have kids if you aren't able to be there for them when necessary without help.
      via ValleyGirlSlang44
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    • Marialnconnu The the "cold" coworkers that they are welcome to act as her go-to backup.
      via MariaInconnu
    • CompanyAdmirable7811 Talk about entitlement! This really boils my blood... I would tell her that you weren't going to cover her at all anymore.
      via CompanyAdmirable7811
    • OkTadpole2920 She feels entitled to your time, she is the jerk
      via OkTadpole2920
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    • Critical-History5340 It's totally reasonable to stop being the default backup. You're not punishing her you're protecting your time. That's not selfish, it's healthy.
      via Critical-History5340
    • Main_Cauliflower5479 NTJ. She needs to go to management to have HER schedule adjusted if she can't work her agreed to schedule. Her lifestyle is not your problem.
      via Main_Cauliflower5479

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