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Look, we don't want to make excuses, but we will. The son, being 23 years old and potentially having some kind of disability, to us, means that he should get some kind of a pass in a situation like this. Cats are irresistible, we understand him to some level. The one who cannot get any kind of pass is the mother. And she certainly has no right to be upset about the cat being in their house if she is not willing to do anything about it to get the cat out of there. Lying for the son makes it even worse.
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It's such an easy position to take - saying that someone who lets their cat outside is a “bad owner” who doesn't care about their cat's safety. It's a scapegoat. It really is not always easy. Of course we support cats being indoor cats - for a plethora of reasons, starting and ending with the fact that indoor cats live longer, healthier lives than outdoor ones. With that said, not every situation is that simple. And considering the fact that you have made the choice that you did with the help of your vet, keeping your cat's best interests in mind, after having tried to keep him indoors… it sounds like you are doing the right thing. And it very much sounds like you love your cat with all your heart.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.