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"[Am I overreacting] for canceling my cat sitter after she asked if a friend could stay in my apartment?"
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Could this situation have been handled with a little more sensitivity? It probably could have been. But we do think that the reaction was justified and that you did not do anything wrong by changing your cat-sitter. Not having a stranger in your home was a clear - and very reasonable - boundary that you set, and although it's hard for us to be mad at them for simply asking the question, we do agree that it points to them not understanding that boundary. You don't want strangers near your things, you don't want strangers near your cat - that should be completely understandable.
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We would like to believe that she would not have let that man into your home had you told her no but kept her on, but that's exactly the thing - there would have been no way to know for sure. Maybe she trusts this person. Maybe she knows that they wouldn't steal anything or try to hurt the cat. But maybe she doesn't know, and this is simply a risk that she is willing to take - as long as that risk is in someone else's house. She could have volunteered her own apartment, but she did not, and we think that there had to have been a reason for that.
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