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'Telling family members I scammed them': College student refuses to transfer back from Art History to Business major, after discovering her parents paid off her student loans on the "condition" she study business, turning a “gift” into emotional leverage

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  • Students listening to a college lecturer whilst sitting in a lecture hall
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  • Refused to switch college majors back after my parents "surprised" me by paying off my loans

    I'm 21F, junior in college. I started as a business major because that's what my parents wanted.
  • They said if I majored in business they'd help with tuition. I hated every second of it but went along for two years to make them happy.
  • Last semester I finally switched to art history which is what I actually love. My grades went up, I was happy, everything was better.
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  • My parents were mad but I'm taking loans now so I told them its my choice.
  • Last week my dad calls and says they have a surprise. They paid off my $12,000 in student loans as an "early graduation gift." I was shocked and so grateful.
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  • Then my dad says "now that we've paid your loans, we expect you to switch back to business." I said what?
  • A cash student loan wrapped in a graduation hat ribbon
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  • He explained that the loan payoff was "conditional" on me going back to business major. They never mentioned this condition before paying them.
  • I told them I'm staying in art history and they can't force me to change majors.
  • My mom started crying saying I "used them for money" and that I'm ungrateful. My dad said if I don't switch back I have to pay them back the $12,000 immediately.
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  • I don't have that money obviously. My older brother says I should just switch back since they paid the loans, but I'll be miserable in business.
  • My roommate says what they did is manipulative and I shouldn't give in. Now my parents are threatening to cut me off completely and telling family members I "scammed" them.
  • But they never said the money was conditional before they paid it? Am I the jerk for refusing to switch majors after they paid my loans?
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  • TL;DR: Switched from business to art history, parents surprised me by paying $12k loans, then revealed it was conditional on switching back, I refused, they want the money back immediately.
  • Adelucas The manipulation and gaslighting is strong in this family. I don't know that art history is a useful major, business is far more useful and you might regret it later, but that's your choice. I'd probably have majored in business and minored in art history, just because there is a very limited job pool once you graduate and employers don't want just a degree, they want a specific degree. But your parents don't get to do something nice then change the rules afterwards.
  • Frustrated senior couple sitting with their arms crossed on the couch.
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  • duncanteabag NTA gifts ARE NOT conditional, ever! What they did is manipulative and controlling. I would suggest you write them and everyone in your family, expressing your gratitude for their gift which will enable you to follow your own path and how much it means to you to not have loans. I'd add that if they really want the money back they can ask the college or loan company for a refund and let them see how that works out.
  • ZestycloseAd5918 Tbf art history is a useless degree. The way they went about this is manipulative, but they are right about a business degree being more useful.
  • infomanus your future will be better with business
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  • millioneura Double major. What are your plans with this degree anyway? Everyone from my state school dorm freshman year that studied art or dance works at target and tj maxx now.
  • No-Operation929 NTA that's textbook manipulation right there. They can't just spring conditions on you AFTER paying the loans and call it a "gift" - that's not how gifts work lol The fact that they're now telling family you "scammed" them when they literally never mentioned any strings attached is wild. Stick to your guns, art history is your life not theirs
  • NTJ Sad_Caterpillar_7826

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