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Dad complains of anger when spending more than 70 minutes a week with kids, bemoans having to play baseball with 4-year-old son on a Saturday: 'I just don't want to be there'

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  • a dad plays baseball with his young son outside on a sunny day, the child holding the bat and the dad raising the ball to throw it
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  • 'I just don't like being around kids for very long'

    Justin Murphy ❤ @jmrphy Am I just a monster? It's been 4 years since I became a father and I'm beginning to fear for my soul. The truth is I just don't like being around kids for very long. Historically, this is not uncommon among fathers, but today it feels almost illegal. It's causing me a lot of confusion and anguish.
  • It's 9 AM this morning, Saturday, January 3. It's a sunny, warm day here in Austin, and my four-year-old son is begging me to play catch in the street. I was drinking coffee, still waking up, so I didn't really feel like it, but at this age his desire to play is insatiable. He begged and begged, so I conceded, and with a smile. I have no problem being a kind and loving father, the problem is only that I do not enjoy it. It's not that I'm trying to maximize my personal pleasure; it just seems wro
  • It was beautiful. We live on a picturesque, tree-lined block. I am even relatively relaxed from the holiday rest. Playing catch with your son is supposed to be an iconic, peak experience. Yet for every single minute, on the inside, I just don't want to be there. I want to be drinking my coffee in peace. Then I feel guilty and absurdly ungrateful, and ashamed, when we're done. I know that when he is a teenager, I'll long to have these days back. I have all of this perspective rationally, and I've
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  • Connor Power @BITPOWER Replying to @jmrphy idk why you're posting this but no stranger on the internet will read this like your son will one day man
  • Matt Bateman @mbateman Replying to @jmrphy Guilt is not a signal that you're a terrible person. Taking guilt that way is inactionable and a sort of cope. Guilt is a signal that you need to change something. This requires thought and dedication, work that guilt can help motivate, if you channel it well. Don't waste it
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  • Jon @Jonny Micro Replying to @jmrphy “I just want to be working or accomplishing something" "I was upset my son wanted to spend time with me because I just wanted to sit and drink coffee" Doesn't jive at all, figure it out
  • savvy @SavvyShredder Replying to @jmrphy Doubt you'll see this but you might enjoy your time with him more if you brought him into your world instead of only letting him pull you into his. Can be tough when they're very young, but try sharing and teaching him about your hobbies and interests, and do that together.
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  • Burt Rock @BurtRock69 Replying to @jmrphy Damn my dude spent longer writing this tweet than his daily time allocation to the kids
  • Goddess Graveyard P... @xm_muva Short answer, yes - you're a monster. Long answer is in the insidious misogyny reflected in this sappy bullshit this man has written. From insinuating his hate for nurturing used to be a norm for men, to insinuating nurturing is not accomplishing anything - so many men are so angry society has progressed to a place where women are valued as capable adults who can contribute to their society, and they're angry that they now have to contribute to their homes and chi
  • Catholic Charm +... @CatholicCharm No, it's not normal for your "blood to boil" after spending ten minutes with your toddler who just wants to play catch with you. Like genuinely you might have a personality disorder. The amount of coddling in the replies is honestly insane. I hate to pull the double standard card but imagine if a mom said this?? Yes, I know moms and dads are different BUT dads are like built to rough house and play catch. Not enjoying it to the extent of feeling angry over the
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  • Catherine @jardinsecret888 Debates about fatherhood aside, I think it's generally unhelpful (but seductive) to frame failings as a result of pathology or a Manichaean moral character. Way more self-flattering to think of yourself as a monster rather than habitually self-centered or a phone addict, etc.
  • lost everything betting... @unclehaver I despise anyone who doesn't at least try to see what it's like being around kids before going ahead and having them. I really think these people are so arrogant they think "oh it'll be different when they're MY kids" and by the time they realize the truth it's too late
  • Vic oh no @VicVijayakumar Justin Murphy @jmrphy Crazy how long it takes for fatherhood to become fun. My son just turned 3 and I almost want to say I'm only just now starting to find this gig fun, like at all. I guess fathers don't talk about this because it sounds bad but 0-2 is pretty boring. Not much for a man to do until they can roughhouse and form ideas. 9:49 PM Jan 18, 2025 3.2M Views 728 1.1K 3 554 Σ 268
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  • Mack @kenzietuff Far too many people treat this place like a teenage girl writing in her diary.
  • Danni @DanniBrener "but if I have to watch them or entertain them for more than about 10 minutes my blood starts to boil. I just want to be working, or accomplishing something." Men openly proclaim that raising children isn't "accomplishing anything" and then wonder why women aren't clamoring to risk their lives to have babies.
  • Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog There are two solutions to your problem. First, stop obsessing over how you feel. Spend time with your kids. Stop analyzing how you feel about spending time with them. Second, most importantly, stop revealing your deeply personal anxieties on the internet. Don't reveal them to anyone, actually. Carry them quietly, like a man, and do your duty. The good news is that if you get your head out of your ass and forget about your feelings, you'll also feel better. But that's a
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  • Shambo @BradfemlyWalsh A perfect example of cognitive dissonance. Doesn't want to spend more than 2 hours a week with his kids, made his tiny son beg him to play then became enraged and stopped after 10 mins, leaves everything up to his wife and yet truly believes he's a great father. My god.
  • @cardamomkiss Justin Murphy @jmrphy X.com Another reason I want a baby is because I need some pro-social cover for my increasing drive to get rich. A childless man with hunger for money is seen as an evil man, but a father with hunger for money is seen as a good man. 11:23 AM 2020-09-14
  • Katie MacGillivray @KAMacGillivray If I found out my husband was posting about not wanting to spend more than 10 minutes a day with his kids, I'd make sure he doesn't have to spend any time with them
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  • Nightmare F ot @DayDreamHetero "I can't stand wasting time parenting my child for ten minutes when I could be accomplishing something important through my work." The work: RGONE MULATION ROGRESS i might go to jail for this Justin Murphy 1.5K views 1 day ago 15:23 ...
  • Rena@generickrautgal You view your children as a burden instead of 'accomplishing something' by raising them right. You have failed. You are addicted to a workaholic bachelor lifestyle. You should never have had kids.

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