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    Dad complains of anger when spending more than 70 minutes a week with kids, bemoans having to play baseball with 4-year-old son on a Saturday: 'I just don't want to be there'

    The worst-kept secret about parenting is that a lot of it is pretty boring.

    For every fleeting, transcendental moment like a baby's first smile, there are hours upon hours of thankless routine and going through the motions simply because that is what a parent is required to do. Indeed, there is an argument to be made that one of the reasons the birth rate is going down is because more and more people are realizing just how much work goes into raising kids to an acceptable level. Truthfully, it is something that many just do not have the temperament for.

    At the same time, those who do make the decision to have children have a responsibility to make the most of it. Even the most competent moms and dads can sometimes wake up in the morning and wish that they didn't have to parent, but they do it anyway. It is only natural to want to complain about this experience from time to time, but it is also common sense to make these complaints private, and not when children are likely to hear them. This can be difficult for some parents when the temptation of social media is right there.


     

    Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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    • a dad plays baseball with his young son outside on a sunny day, the child holding the bat and the dad raising the ball to throw it
      via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

      The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • Unfortunately, some parents find that even the supposed fun part of having kids proves to be anything but, and something that they want an escape from (and maybe some internet clout on the side, if they can get it). 

      This is how one father felt when he decided to complain about having to play with his kids. Claiming he had allotted a certain amount of time per week for the task, he admitted that it made him angry to play with them for time than he felt he had to. He shared an anecdote about his young son wanting to play baseball, and how he hadn't enjoyed the experience.

      While some sympathized with how he might be feeling, others were not impressed with his mindset. Not every single feeling needs to be turned into a social media essay.

    • 'I just don't like being around kids for very long'

      Justin Murphy ❤ @jmrphy Am I just a monster? It's been 4 years since I became a father and I'm beginning to fear for my soul. The truth is I just don't like being around kids for very long. Historically, this is not uncommon among fathers, but today it feels almost illegal. It's causing me a lot of confusion and anguish.
      via jmrphy
    • It's 9 AM this morning, Saturday, January 3. It's a sunny, warm day here in Austin, and my four-year-old son is begging me to play catch in the street. I was drinking coffee, still waking up, so I didn't really feel like it, but at this age his desire to play is insatiable. He begged and begged, so I conceded, and with a smile. I have no problem being a kind and loving father, the problem is only that I do not enjoy it. It's not that I'm trying to maximize my personal pleasure; it just seems wro
      via jmrphy
    • It was beautiful. We live on a picturesque, tree-lined block. I am even relatively relaxed from the holiday rest. Playing catch with your son is supposed to be an iconic, peak experience. Yet for every single minute, on the inside, I just don't want to be there. I want to be drinking my coffee in peace. Then I feel guilty and absurdly ungrateful, and ashamed, when we're done. I know that when he is a teenager, I'll long to have these days back. I have all of this perspective rationally, and I've
      via jmrphy
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    • Connor Power @BITPOWER Replying to @jmrphy idk why you're posting this but no stranger on the internet will read this like your son will one day man
      via BITP0WER
    • Matt Bateman @mbateman Replying to @jmrphy Guilt is not a signal that you're a terrible person. Taking guilt that way is inactionable and a sort of cope. Guilt is a signal that you need to change something. This requires thought and dedication, work that guilt can help motivate, if you channel it well. Don't waste it
      via mbateman
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    • Jon @Jonny Micro Replying to @jmrphy “I just want to be working or accomplishing something" "I was upset my son wanted to spend time with me because I just wanted to sit and drink coffee" Doesn't jive at all, figure it out
      via JonnyMicro
    • savvy @SavvyShredder Replying to @jmrphy Doubt you'll see this but you might enjoy your time with him more if you brought him into your world instead of only letting him pull you into his. Can be tough when they're very young, but try sharing and teaching him about your hobbies and interests, and do that together.
      via SavvyShredder
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    • Burt Rock @BurtRock69 Replying to @jmrphy Damn my dude spent longer writing this tweet than his daily time allocation to the kids
      via BurtRock69
    • Goddess Graveyard P... @xm_muva Short answer, yes - you're a monster. Long answer is in the insidious misogyny reflected in this sappy bullshit this man has written. From insinuating his hate for nurturing used to be a norm for men, to insinuating nurturing is not accomplishing anything - so many men are so angry society has progressed to a place where women are valued as capable adults who can contribute to their society, and they're angry that they now have to contribute to their homes and chi
      via xm_muva
    • Catholic Charm +... @CatholicCharm No, it's not normal for your "blood to boil" after spending ten minutes with your toddler who just wants to play catch with you. Like genuinely you might have a personality disorder. The amount of coddling in the replies is honestly insane. I hate to pull the double standard card but imagine if a mom said this?? Yes, I know moms and dads are different BUT dads are like built to rough house and play catch. Not enjoying it to the extent of feeling angry over the
      via CatholicCharm
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    • Catherine @jardinsecret888 Debates about fatherhood aside, I think it's generally unhelpful (but seductive) to frame failings as a result of pathology or a Manichaean moral character. Way more self-flattering to think of yourself as a monster rather than habitually self-centered or a phone addict, etc.
      via jardinsecret888
    • lost everything betting... @unclehaver I despise anyone who doesn't at least try to see what it's like being around kids before going ahead and having them. I really think these people are so arrogant they think "oh it'll be different when they're MY kids" and by the time they realize the truth it's too late
      via unclehaver
    • Vic oh no @VicVijayakumar Justin Murphy @jmrphy Crazy how long it takes for fatherhood to become fun. My son just turned 3 and I almost want to say I'm only just now starting to find this gig fun, like at all. I guess fathers don't talk about this because it sounds bad but 0-2 is pretty boring. Not much for a man to do until they can roughhouse and form ideas. 9:49 PM Jan 18, 2025 3.2M Views 728 1.1K 3 554 Σ 268
      via VicVijayakumar
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    • Mack @kenzietuff Far too many people treat this place like a teenage girl writing in her diary.
      via kenzietuff
    • Danni @DanniBrener "but if I have to watch them or entertain them for more than about 10 minutes my blood starts to boil. I just want to be working, or accomplishing something." Men openly proclaim that raising children isn't "accomplishing anything" and then wonder why women aren't clamoring to risk their lives to have babies.
      via DanniBrener
    • Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog There are two solutions to your problem. First, stop obsessing over how you feel. Spend time with your kids. Stop analyzing how you feel about spending time with them. Second, most importantly, stop revealing your deeply personal anxieties on the internet. Don't reveal them to anyone, actually. Carry them quietly, like a man, and do your duty. The good news is that if you get your head out of your ass and forget about your feelings, you'll also feel better. But that's a
      via MattWalshBlog
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    • Shambo @BradfemlyWalsh A perfect example of cognitive dissonance. Doesn't want to spend more than 2 hours a week with his kids, made his tiny son beg him to play then became enraged and stopped after 10 mins, leaves everything up to his wife and yet truly believes he's a great father. My god.
      via BradfemlyWalsh
    • @cardamomkiss Justin Murphy @jmrphy X.com Another reason I want a baby is because I need some pro-social cover for my increasing drive to get rich. A childless man with hunger for money is seen as an evil man, but a father with hunger for money is seen as a good man. 11:23 AM 2020-09-14
      via cardomomkiss
    • Katie MacGillivray @KAMacGillivray If I found out my husband was posting about not wanting to spend more than 10 minutes a day with his kids, I'd make sure he doesn't have to spend any time with them
      via KAMacGillivray
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    • Nightmare F ot @DayDreamHetero "I can't stand wasting time parenting my child for ten minutes when I could be accomplishing something important through my work." The work: RGONE MULATION ROGRESS i might go to jail for this Justin Murphy 1.5K views 1 day ago 15:23 ...
      via DayDreamHetero
    • Rena@generickrautgal You view your children as a burden instead of 'accomplishing something' by raising them right. You have failed. You are addicted to a workaholic bachelor lifestyle. You should never have had kids.
      via generickrautgal

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